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Rant! Just Need To Get It Off My Chest!

BDW Newbies Cancun Riviera Maya 2015 Brides Playa Del Carmen Playa Del Carmen

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#1 forevertogether

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  • Wedding Date:January 7, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Gran Porto Real--Playa del Carmen

Posted 18 April 2014 - 11:01 AM





We told our families our destination wedding plans last October!! For our January 2015 wedding in Mexico!!! We knew that our some of our family members were going to have to save up! His brother agreed to be his BM and which I should mention is his ONLY groomsmen! Then just sent us a FB message telling us he wouldn't be able to attend--even tho he saved up for a cruise that he is going on next month!!! Not even a phone call!! His younger sister really can't afford the cost, which we totally understand, but we offered to pay for 50% of the 1300 and she just said she didn't want to even try to save up the additional money!! If my older brother was getting married, I'd be sure to figure out how to save 700 bucks to attend! And most depressing -- his dad!! His dad, just said so nonchalantly that he'd have to decline because he didn't have any desire to leave the US! WHAT!!!??? (HIs mother is a different story, she just can't go because of health reasons and it's not worth the risk... But we are having a videographer and I'm designing a sign that says "We Love you Mom" that we will have the photographer and videographer get shots of.... SO that doesn't upet me...) and his parents are divorced, so the dad isn't staying to care for the mom-- just an FYI.


SO, I don't mean to sound like a giant jerk, but it's really depressing!!! I hate that he won't have any family to share our special day with... It puts a damper on father/daughter and mother/son dances... We'll miss out on pics... I'll feel terrible taking special pics with my mom and dad and then him not having any!! It makes me so sad to think about!! 


And I realize that low attendance is a risk you run with a destination wedding and we're ok with that... But you just expect your parents and close family to be able to come if they can afford it.... 


AM I terrible for feeling this way??!!! I just feel so horrible for my SO!!!  :(

#2 AllieH

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  • Wedding Date:November 5, 2012
  • Wedding Location:El Dorado Royale, Riviera Maya MX
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Posted 18 April 2014 - 11:20 AM

Bambi - you aren't terrible at all for feeling that way. I'm sorry his family isn't more supportive and trying to find ways to attend. How does he feel about it...?


FWIW - my parents were totally against the idea of the DW. we'd talked about it in general terms before getting engaged, so they knew it was a possibility. when I called to tell my parents we were officially engaged, they said at that time they weren't going. (yeah seriously - happy day, just crapped on by the parents...). they eventually changed their minds, and had a WONDERFUL time. but yeah, family sure can suck sometimes. And my sister refused to go at all - no matter what we did to try to get her there. I came to terms with it and just decided that we weren't the ones missing out on this occasion, they were. We got married, had an awesome time, and life goes on. We just made sure we talked about how wonderful it was when we got back so they knew what they missed (evil, I know).


Hang in there lady.


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#3 forevertogether

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  • Wedding Date:January 7, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Gran Porto Real--Playa del Carmen

Posted 18 April 2014 - 11:30 AM



He is very upset about it but is trying to stay positive... 


We both know we are going to have an AMAZING time and enjoy every single minute but it just makes me feel sad for him!


I guess family can really suck sometimes!!!! 


I am glad your parents changed their minds! and great idea about rubbing it in!! I will definitely do a little of that!!! NOT evil in book!!! LOL



#4 vanessav53

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    Posted 18 April 2014 - 11:31 AM


    I'm sorry that this is happening during your special time BUT it is a risk you take when having a destination even with close family. My FI's dad told us we were selfish the second day after we were engaged because we mentioned having it in mexico. MY FI is one of 8 siblings and we knew financially it might be a lot for some of them so we went back and forth ALOT to figure out if we wanted to have the wedding in mexico and know some people couldn't come, or pay for a big expensive wedding in the states that we didn't want. We ended up paying for the hotel portion for all of my FI's family so that all they needed to do was pay their flight ( except his parents we paid in full) it was expensive but it was still much cheaper than having it in the states. We figured we would spend the money to have the wedding we want vs. spending it in NY to accommodate a few family members and it would be 2x the price for the overall wedding.



    I know you're frustrated but you have to do what will make you happy and work through those details with your fiancé. I'm sorry you are dealing with this when this is supposed to be an exciting time. It will all work out the way it's supposed to.

    #5 forevertogether

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    • Wedding Date:January 7, 2015
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    Posted 18 April 2014 - 11:33 AM



    Thanks... Hopefully it'll all work out for the best!

    #6 tygrrlily

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    • Wedding Date:December 19, 2014
    • Wedding Location:Beach Palace in Cancun, Mexico
    • LocationToronto

    Posted 18 April 2014 - 01:28 PM

    @forevertogether - I'm so sorry to hear about that! That is super stressful. Do you think they might change their minds down the road? As the wedding comes closer, maybe they'll realize how much they want to see their son's wedding. Maybe they're saying that right now hoping that you'll change your mind?


    I think it's super nice of you to offer to pay 50% for his sister.


    My FI and I are very lucky. We actually didn't even consider a DW until our families told us they prefer it! But we are getting complaints about cost/price. Your rate actually sounds really reasonable to me


    Good luck!!

    Married December 19, 2014 at Beach Palace Resort in Cancun, Mexico


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    #7 malyna

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    Posted 18 April 2014 - 02:02 PM

    @forevertogether So sorry to hear this! Does this make you reconsider having a DW?

    #8 forevertogether

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    Posted 18 April 2014 - 02:11 PM


    Not for one second!! This is our dream wedding and we deserve to have it! Yes, I'm sad that some ppl can't come share, but it was important to us to do what we wanted! :)

    #9 DWBride2015

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    Posted 18 April 2014 - 03:34 PM

    Sorry to here that. Im in the same boat. Most of the wedding guest are my friendly and friends. And maybe 2-4 people from his side will be there. Is sad, but i know its all about me and my FI. We will make the best of it.

    Soon to be Mrs. Thiam

    #10 bliss2be

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      Posted 18 April 2014 - 10:58 PM

      The way I see it is that you will be marrying him its all you and him, and the great thing is then he gets to become a part of your supporting family, I do hope they come around, but even if it was just the two of you thats all that would matter :) 

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