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Maid Of Honor Trouble

maid of honor issues

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#11 ctlind7

ctlind7
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  • Wedding Date:November 13, 2014
  • Wedding Location:Moon Palace - Cancun, Mexico
  • LocationSpringfield, IL

Posted 27 March 2014 - 06:42 AM

You could always flip the situation back on her saying I know you have a new job coming up and with your condition I don't want to jeopardize your health on the trip or lay it on reallly thick so it's almost like it's her idea to politely step out of the wedding? That way you don't have to kick her out :) LOL just a suggestion, but that is def a hard situation.

I have 5 BM's and my FI has 3 GM's so we are uneven too, which I don't think is that big of deal :) Especially now where pretty much anything goes! 



#12 liz24

liz24
  • Jr. Member
  • 209 posts
  • Wedding Date:November 13, 2014
  • Wedding Location:Riu Palace Riviera Maya

Posted 27 March 2014 - 06:58 AM


@ctlind7 I did exactly that. We had a long conversation and I politely said it wasn't a good idea for her to come for just one day. Especially since she wasn't going to have a room. Just found out my other bridesmaid can't come now :(
I'm so bummed. She just got a new flight attendant job that she has to attend 8 wks of training in Dallas TX. She was supposed to start the middle of April. She asked them to push it so she could attend the wedding. They moved it to May. She then asked them to push it until June. So they did and it's June 1st. A day after my wedding. And they have a flight for her already and everything. She didn't want to be greedy and demanding with them so now she can't come. I understand I'm just so bummed about it. So we decided we are only having our brothers and sisters stand up. His two brothers my sister and sister in law. I'm supposed to have my brother walk give me away. Just found out my POS Dad is now coming to the wedding. I don't know how to tell him this. So much wedding drama! I never thought I would have any wedding drama :(
P.S.
I'm not heartless but my dad is just another long situation I don't want to get into. He will create a lot of drama tho!

#13 ctlind7

ctlind7
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  • 134 posts
  • Wedding Date:November 13, 2014
  • Wedding Location:Moon Palace - Cancun, Mexico
  • LocationSpringfield, IL

Posted 27 March 2014 - 07:08 AM

@ctlind7 I did exactly that. We had a long conversation and I politely said it wasn't a good idea for her to come for just one day. Especially since she wasn't going to have a room. Just found out my other bridesmaid can't come now :(
I'm so bummed. She just got a new flight attendant job that she has to attend 8 wks of training in Dallas TX. She was supposed to start the middle of April. She asked them to push it so she could attend the wedding. They moved it to May. She then asked them to push it until June. So they did and it's June 1st. A day after my wedding. And they have a flight for her already and everything. She didn't want to be greedy and demanding with them so now she can't come. I understand I'm just so bummed about it. So we decided we are only having our brothers and sisters stand up. His two brothers my sister and sister in law. I'm supposed to have my brother walk give me away. Just found out my POS Dad is now coming to the wedding. I don't know how to tell him this. So much wedding drama! I never thought I would have any wedding drama :(
P.S.
I'm not heartless but my dad is just another long situation I don't want to get into. He will create a lot of drama tho!

 

I'm sorry to hear that :( Well just remember that is your day, you are marrying the man of your dreams and you will be in paradise! 



#14 sammbugg

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    Posted 28 March 2014 - 08:00 AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about all of this, but I am relieved to hear that I'm not the only one having a hard time with my MOH. Everytime she starts to get to me, I have to remind myself that no matter what the day is going to be perfect because I get to promise to love my best friend forever.



    #15 ChristienEarnest

    ChristienEarnest
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      Posted 06 April 2014 - 02:53 PM

      Now this I am worrying about as well. I haven't asked the ladies yet but I want to make sure they can afford to travel and purchase their dresses.



      #16 Dreamteam17

      Dreamteam17
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      • 194 posts
      • Wedding Date:January 21, 2015
      • Wedding Location:Tulum Beach
      • LocationCanada

      Posted 23 June 2014 - 02:25 PM

      My MOH isn't doing anything a MOH is suppose to do. I know she is not really a people person and isn't into the wedding thing but she could at least try!! I have so far planned my own bachelorette and put the deposit down, I have tried on my own bridesmaid dresses, I have gone dress shopping alone, (I kinda didn't mind that in the end) but she cancelled last minute on me. I have messaged her about wedding related things and she either doesn't get back to me or sounds like the could care less. So I am now not even bothering including her with anything at this point I am just doing it myself. We are more of sisters then best friends at this point in our lives we were best friends in high school and I moved in with her and her family and lived there for 10 years I see her at every family gathering. It's just disappointing, another bridesmaid has stepped up for the bachelorette and has been there to help out when ever I mention anything wedding related so that's nice. I don't want to say anything cause I know how she is and I knew this when I picked her but I felt like being almost my sister I couldn't ask anyone else. Glad I am not the only one having MOH issues. And to top it off my fiancé has the best best man ever who is so organized and a people person has organized a surprise bachelor party ect I am happy for him don't get me wrong but makes me feel a bit worse. Lol

      55 guests booked plus bride and groom :)


      #17 LisaAnthonyPoppy

      LisaAnthonyPoppy
      • Jr. Member
      • 332 posts
      • Wedding Location:Mayan Riviera
      • LocationUSA

      Posted 26 June 2014 - 11:12 AM

      I can totally see the need to vent girl I feel your frustration. You can control your dress your food your vows etc but you can not control other people. Your wedding will be special and when it's over with your still going to enjoy it whether she is there or not. Send out positive energy over your wedding day and let the rest go. I would hold her to the same RSVP date as everyone else and let the concerns go. If at that time she doesn't go then find a solution and be at peace. Stop worrying :) tell her that you are leaving the decision and all aspects over it to her.

      My own mother is refusing to travel to Mexico. You can't control people, only control you!

      Good luck girl!

      #18 MrsRoy

      MrsRoy
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      • 90 posts

        Posted 26 June 2014 - 01:35 PM

        My MOH isn't doing anything a MOH is suppose to do. I know she is not really a people person and isn't into the wedding thing but she could at least try!! I have so far planned my own bachelorette and put the deposit down, I have tried on my own bridesmaid dresses, I have gone dress shopping alone, (I kinda didn't mind that in the end) but she cancelled last minute on me. I have messaged her about wedding related things and she either doesn't get back to me or sounds like the could care less. So I am now not even bothering including her with anything at this point I am just doing it myself. We are more of sisters then best friends at this point in our lives we were best friends in high school and I moved in with her and her family and lived there for 10 years I see her at every family gathering. It's just disappointing, another bridesmaid has stepped up for the bachelorette and has been there to help out when ever I mention anything wedding related so that's nice. I don't want to say anything cause I know how she is and I knew this when I picked her but I felt like being almost my sister I couldn't ask anyone else. Glad I am not the only one having MOH issues. And to top it off my fiancé has the best best man ever who is so organized and a people person has organized a surprise bachelor party ect I am happy for him don't get me wrong but makes me feel a bit worse. Lol

        I have a question ...
        If you knew before hand that she wasn't a "people person" why did you choose her?
        Out of obligation ? I think by this point since you have pretty much done everything I would ask her to step down... but I'm also well aware of the backlash
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        #19 Dreamteam17

        Dreamteam17
        • Jr. Member
        • 194 posts
        • Wedding Date:January 21, 2015
        • Wedding Location:Tulum Beach
        • LocationCanada

        Posted 26 June 2014 - 04:47 PM

        I have a question ...
        If you knew before hand that she wasn't a "people person" why did you choose her?
        Out of obligation ? I think by this point since you have pretty much done everything I would ask her to step down... but I'm also well aware of the backlash


        Yes, pretty much obligation she SHOULD be my MOH because she is like a sister to me. Even though I knew she would be terrible at it, I thought that maybe it being my wedding she may have put in a little effort :( asking her to step down would defiantly cause some issues and make everything uncomfortable. So it's my fault for asking her and expecting more from her but I felt it wasn't right to ask another person cause they would be better at it. When we do talk wedding stuff she says "we will" do this and that but she isn't doing anything it's all me but she makes it sound like she is involved. I don't know maybe I should at least confront the issue and how I feel. Maybe she will chose to step down.

        55 guests booked plus bride and groom :)


        #20 Tatimrivera

        Tatimrivera
        • Jr. Member
        • 156 posts
        • Wedding Date:October 10, 2014
        • Wedding Location:Iberostar Rose Hall Suites
        • LocationEither lobby or lazy river

        Posted 29 June 2014 - 08:26 PM

        @liz24 Wow I know your wedding day passed and I hope it all went as beautiful as you both hoped.
        I have found that dealing with my guest is the most stressful part of the wedding planning. I have 3 BMS and my MOH. Unfortunately my best friend could not be my MOH because she is due 5wks before our wedding and will not be cleared to fly (this put a monkey wrench in my plans). I in turn had to ask another friend to be a BM and move my second closet friend up to the task. My wedding attendants are uneven but if I could to it over again we would only have two attendants.
        In your situation I would of just told her never mind and not to worry about it because you don't need added stress. Excuses and A** everyone has (as my mother would say) lol those that care will move mountains to celebrate your special day!
        Good Luck :)




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