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Guests saying that resort is too expensive...i'm so frustraded

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#1 m&d2011

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  • 379 posts

    Posted 12 April 2010 - 10:44 PM

    Ok....so, here I am thinking that everything is falling into place regarding my wedding: location and date picked....so I was just focusing on the details. I did decided to look for a different photographer - which I am not too happy about it - due to my budget already being way over...but anyways I’m sure that whoever I chose it will be great!
    So, my stress started on Friday. I went to dinner with a couple of friends and they all told me that they thought Zoetry was too expensive and they wouldn't be able to go to the wedding. When I first decided to have a destination wedding, I knew that not everyone would be able to come either due to schedules or financial reasons. And I was ok with that. So, after the dinner I called my travel agent and had a freak out moment and she made me feel better, and reminded me that it’s my wedding and I should get what I want.
    So, I decided not to stress over and just let things happen. I did send a text to all my bridesmaids asking if they thought it was indeed too much money and nobody really said anything other than maybe I could make sure the dress wasn’t too expensive and maybe have a simple bachelorette (which by the way, I’m ok with it).
    And now, I’m getting more people saying something about the cost. I understand that Zoetry is more expensive than other resorts, and that everybody has other responsibilities and commitments. But honestly, I just went downstairs and cried for like 20 minutes with Michael, because I feel that no matter what, I’m not going to have this one day that I want to be perfect.
    Anyways…now I don’t know what to do because every other resort that was on my list no longer have my date available. So, if I want to save a little bit of money, I will have to not only change resorts and change my date. Or as Michael and I discussed:
    -Have a really small wedding here at home, and literally cut 80% of our guest list, and just go to Europe for our honeymoon
    -Get married at town hall and just go to Europe and get married there just Michael, Lyla and I
    -Start from the beginning all over again, and find a cheaper island
    -Change resorts and possibly dates
    -Just stay where we are and deal with people cancelling and complaining
    We are asking for people to stay at the resort with us because of the following:
    -For outside guests to come in to the resort for the day, there is a $99 pass per person
    -For the wedding reception there would be an additional $100 per person charge that we would have to pay (food + drinks)
    -The guest would be responsible for his/her own transportation to/from airport (with Zoetry, it’s included…I checked, and I haven’t found a hotel like that yet)
    -The whole point of going away for a wedding (at least for me) is to spend time together with friends, and if people stay outside the resort than we wont see anybody
    So, yes, there is an option to stay outside the resort but honestly, if a lot of people decide to do that I can’t afford it because I’m over budget as it is….
    Can you tell I’m really stressed? I just honestly, want to cancel this destination wedding and go to Europe with Michael and Lyla (our daughter) and get married just us….


    #2 DWbridetobe

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      Posted 12 April 2010 - 10:59 PM

      We had this issue too. Before anyone even said "Congratulations" we were facing the firing squad about the cost of the trip. However, now that it's been a few months, I think the shock has worn off. People we never thought would come, are calling my TA to get more details.

      I know it's stressful, but keep your chin up. Your wedding will be your perfect day whether there's 2 people with you, or 20.

      #3 tracy0716

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      • 431 posts

        Posted 12 April 2010 - 11:02 PM

        Hi Daniela...I'm in the same boat. I knew from the beginning the resort I chose was more expensive than the surrounding resorts. I considered choosing a different resort but this was where I wanted to get married. I was worried I would be at another resort and always compare it to the PPR, ultimately being an unhappy bride. Since we knew this from the beginning we accepted the fact that many of our friends and family wouldn't be able to attend. For some reason there will always be people that have to say negative comments rather than "We wish we could be there".

        IMO it sounds like you and your FI need to take a few days to think this over and decide if this is the place you want for your DW or if any of the other options are better for you. Cheer up, you're not the only one! We've all had some version of this dilemma. Remember this is your wedding and you need to do what makes only you and your FI happy. I hope this helped...good luck!!!

        #4 Jen_S

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        • 3,737 posts

          Posted 13 April 2010 - 08:37 AM

          I am sorry you are experiencing this but it is very typical. I think you and your FI need to talk about what is the most important to you guys. For us it was having our close friends and family members which meant we had to go for a middle of the range resort in the end our wedding was amazing and by not spending as much as we orig thought we were able to go on another honeymoon. Good Luck!!!
          Our Honeymoon In Ireland!!

          #5 missgomes

          • Jr. Member
          • 296 posts

            Posted 13 April 2010 - 08:53 AM

            Hi, I was in the same boat as well. I think you and FI need to decide what's best for you two. We ended up choosing a different island all together so that certain guests could afford to go. It was a big sacrifice but my big day won't be complete without them. I wish you luck!

            #6 Cindy*

            • Sr. Member
            • 2,655 posts

              Posted 13 April 2010 - 09:13 AM

              I understand your dilemma. My FI and I originally wanted Bahamas or Turks and Caicos for our wedding. However we couldn't find a decent resort for a price that was affordable for our guests. Also, as many of our family and friends have children, we needed to ensure that the resort was family friendly. In the end we decided to change our destination altogether so that we could get both an amazing resort but at a price our guests could afford. In the end, I am very happy with our decision as we have over 50 guests who have already booked for our wedding. Sharing our wedding with our family and friends was really important to us. We will also still get to go to the resort in the Bahamas that we wanted originally, however, it will be for our honeymoon instead of our wedding.

              I see you are at Zoetry which is amazing. Have you considered Dreams. They are related properties but Dreams is less expensive. Maybe that might be an option. Or maybe because they are related, you could ask whether there would be any break in the costs if guests stayed there (i.e. maybe they could waive the guest pass). It never hurts to ask.

              If you do keep your wedding as planned, hopefully the fact that people have more than a year of notice will make it easier for them to be able to come to the wedding as they have more time to save.

              Good luck with whatever you decide.

              #7 mnh1983

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              • 743 posts

                Posted 13 April 2010 - 09:36 AM

                I know this is a frustrating decision for you. Are you planning to have an AHR where people who cannot attend can celebrate with you? If not, that may be an option so that everyone can celebrate and you can still have your wedding at Zoetry.

                #8 dana

                • Jr. Member
                • 285 posts

                  Posted 13 April 2010 - 10:14 AM

                  I wouldn't change your resort. The people saying it is too expensive are the same people the most likely will not come even if you change your resort and then you'll really be kicking yourself.

                  #9 KRama

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                  • 421 posts

                    Posted 13 April 2010 - 11:09 AM

                    Originally Posted by Jen_S
                    I am sorry you are experiencing this but it is very typical. I think you and your FI need to talk about what is the most important to you guys. For us it was having our close friends and family members which meant we had to go for a middle of the range resort in the end our wedding was amazing and by not spending as much as we orig thought we were able to go on another honeymoon. Good Luck!!!
                    I agree with Jen here. For us, it was more important that our closest friends and family be there so we could spend an entire week together. When we were first planning, we discussed costs with our VIPs and agreed on a price range that they would be comfortable with. We kept in mind that not everyone would choose to vacation in Mexico so we weren't just asking them to pay to attend our wedding, they were also giving us a week of their vacation time.

                    We figured we'd have a gorgeous and perfect wedding at any resort and like Jen, we decided to go all out on a more expensive resort (plus upgrades!) for our honeymoon!

                    Talk to your FI and decide if the setting is really more important than the people there! Check out reviews of the hundreds of resorts in the Mayan. If you can be flexible on your exact date (say the day before or after) I'm sure you can find one that offers you an amazing wedding for a price your guests will want to pay!

                    #10 jealousy88

                    • Newbie
                    • 116 posts

                      Posted 13 April 2010 - 02:00 PM

                      You have to decide what is more important to you and your FI, the setting that you have, or who will be able to come. And if you do change, will they still come? It is hard, but ultimatly it is up to you. We chose a destination wedding knowing that not everyone would be able to come, but we chose to do this because it's our wedding, and our dream. You need to follow your heart, and not worry about other people's worries. They have over a year, so they can make it work.
                      Tiffany and Shawn, June 23rd, 2012


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