No engagement ring syndrome
Posted 06 June 2010 - 10:34 PM
JennandMike08, I almost cried when I read your initial post (because of your sensitivity to his situation). Who knows, maybe he'll give you the ring when he is in a better shape after you get married, like in Sex And The City 2 (I know, cheesy!). You can always ask for one when you know he can afford it!
Posted 13 July 2010 - 09:47 PM
Yes it would have been nice to have that wonderful romantic proposal that so many other women get to have, but lack of proposal (or ring for that matter) does not mean you are not engaged. I think expecting a proposal after you've already decided to set a date and start planning a wedding makes no sense... its just an awkward formality at that point, isn't it?
But I do agree with what everyone is saying... it would have been sooo nice to have a romantic proposal. And to have the ring before we started planning everything :S
Posted 14 July 2010 - 04:01 PM
We did get engaged and I am blissfully happy (see my post just before yours).
It did seem pointless to want a proposal after we made plans but it is one of a few life changing things a guy can plan for in his life. I felt I took it away from him even though he was onboard with the planning from the beginning.
I just needed to know that I wasn't pressuring him and a proposal (with or without a ring) was that memorable moment in time that was ours always and forever.
My FI knew how my brother proposed: amazing race style through Ireland, hidden clues, a charter plane, misty waves of the ocean, a pocketwatch with a timeless quote... and although he may not be as creative he wanted to at least create our own story.
Love that guy!
Posted 17 July 2010 - 06:14 PM
Posted 18 July 2010 - 11:29 PM
Posted 19 July 2010 - 08:38 PM
Posted 20 July 2010 - 12:19 AM
| Originally Posted by YIweddings |
When I started this thread I wasn't sure where it would go. It seems I had a found a few kindred brides to be.
I am thrilled to say that I am now engaged!! We've made so many plans and even bought a house just over a month ago so I wasn't sure if a ring was in my future.
I couldn't be happier and now only have to worry about not walking into walls while I stare at my left hand.
All my best to the ladies on this site.
And I know I am late to the party posting in this thread, but I don't think any of you are out of line to be expecting a ring to give you that symbol of pre-marital commitment -- it's NOT your fault!
We, as women, are somewhat raised to think things are "supposed" to happen in a certain order, that we are "supposed" to have this mind-blowing engagement story, and the most jaw-dropping ring ever....but reality is typically never as grand as fantasy.
What you CAN count on is that your men love you. Any wedding planning would have been stopped in it's tracks if he WASN'T committed, and I certainly understand how a man's pride can prevent him from proposing, simply because he cannot afford the ring of your dreams.
What my husband and I did was talk about the ring I said I wanted vs. what we could afford at the time we got engaged. And we found a ring that we both loved for the time being, always knowing we'd upgrade in the future if/when we might be able to. That way, he was still able to be proud that he had given me a ring I loved, and I still had a story to tell to everyone who he KNEW would ask -- it was a win-win for both of us!
Anyway, just my $.02. GOOD LUCK girls!
Posted 20 July 2010 - 05:27 PM
Posted 22 July 2010 - 10:13 AM
But then when I was looking for a ring it didn't feel right that so much would be spent on something just for me when we have a house and a daughter...so my SIL suggested a man made diamond and I really loved the idea. So I got this Diamond Nexus Labs Engagement Rings | Lab Created | Ornate Styles
It looks amazing, and theres no difference between a man made diamond or a mined diamond other than where it came from so noone can tell unless you actually tell them yourself. Maybe that's an idea you guys can afford, and you still get a really great ring.
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