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Only married 7 weeks and heading for divorce :(

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#11 bnbrmy

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  • 218 posts

    Posted 25 January 2010 - 12:06 AM

    I hate to hear you're going through this. The best thing to do is confront him. Demand the truth.
    I had a simular situation with my FI and one of his friends. She was sending really nasty messages to him and I told him I wouldn't tolerate it anymore. She is no longer in the picture.
    Just trust your instinct. Have him give you his passwords (if he has nothing to hide he will give it to you) Most importantly don't let him make you feel bad for not trusting him.
    I would suggest going into couples therapy. If you want to try and work it out.
    Good luck. I am so sorry for all that the have going on.

    #12 MayBride2010

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    • 204 posts

      Posted 25 January 2010 - 12:08 AM

      I am really sorry that you have to go through this. I know from personal experience how much cheating hurts. I have never felt anything more painful in my whole life. Please don't feel like I am telling you what to do but from my own personal experience, once a cheater always a cheater and you will probably never gain the trust back in your relationship. Also, if he does love you as much as he claims to, he would be doing everything in his power to keep you.

      Stay strong sweetie.

      #13 Preciousmi811

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      • 342 posts

        Posted 25 January 2010 - 12:12 AM

        Oh honey this is horrible, I am so sorry for you to go through this. It sounds like your husband enjoys the attention wants to have the safety of a wife at home but still be able to go out and "play" that's why it doesn't matter that she is ugly. I am so proud that you didn't become the victim and took the appropriate action. He needs to leave and get his act together. I do think think your relationship can be saved but he has to be the one to push it and right now I think he is too busy being a prick. You are right to ask for emails and passwords the trust is broken. Stick to your guns and be strong cut off contact so he can really know what it's like to be without you. Your a hot a catch and you cut him a break earlier when you found the text messages and told him to knock it off. Keep us posted my heart reaches out to you.

        If you really want to know: check out some IT sites you can pull deleted items and passwords with the right software from your home PC. You could ask the guys at your IT help desk most of them our genius when it comes to this and will let you know how to install and run. If it was me I would want to know if the trust was already broken and I had proof like you have.
        One Love

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        #14 KimmyG

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        • 520 posts

          Posted 25 January 2010 - 12:18 AM

          I'm so sorry to hear all this. I know you wouldn't wish this on anyone and i'm sorry you're going through this yourself. sending major hugs your way

          #15 amygirl1169

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          • 653 posts

            Posted 25 January 2010 - 12:38 AM

            OMGsh, this is just terrible. I don't even have the words to express what I would do if I were in this situation!
            He has some serious making up to do if he's going to ever get in your good books again.

            Ughh, why do guys have to be so sleazy sometimes?! Like he has a stunning wife and still needs to get a rush from the office tramp flirting with him...

            And SHAME on her for playing her role in this too. Don't forget, what goes around, comes around and she will get hers one day!

            #16 Oryx

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              Posted 25 January 2010 - 12:46 AM

              I'm so sorry that you are going through this -- hugs! Although you must be going through hell right now, I hope your hubby comes to his senses and does whatever it takes to win your trust back. Guys say really stupid things sometimes and hopefully that is all it was... and if that is the case, I hope something positive can come out of this (i.e he learns how to act appropriately as a married man and grows up).

              Wishing you all the best.

              #17 JuneWeddingDreams

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                Posted 25 January 2010 - 01:05 AM

                My heart goes out to you...I feel anxious for you! I went through this with my first marriage...although he was doing similar things with one of my good friends. In the end, he needs to give you what you are asking for (passwords, work out of a different location, etc) until he has built your trust up again. If he isn't willing to do those little things he obviously is hiding something and/or doesn't want to change his ways.

                Have you asked him how he would feel if he saw similar emails that you were sending to another man? I am sure he wouldn't like it at all. Out of respect for you he needs to do what you ask to build that trust back up!

                Hang in there! I feel like I am going through this all over again with you...it is truly the worst feeling in the world. Your heart sinks...in the end...you need to do what you are comfortable with and what is best for you! You know him better than the rest of us do...trust what your gut tells you!

                I will be saying a few prayers for you tonight! Lots of hugs!
                Rob and Lindsey

                24 Booked + Bride and Groom


                #18 sungoddess_08

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                • 829 posts

                  Posted 25 January 2010 - 01:09 AM

                  I am so sorry to read this - I cannot even imagine how you must feel right now.
                  I agree with the other girls though - you need to stay strong and hold your ground, with whatever you are feeling. You do not deserve this, you are a beautiful girl and deserve much better than this treatment.

                  Stay strong....whatever the outcome is, you'll make it through.

                  #19 jenv

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 169 posts

                    Posted 25 January 2010 - 01:34 AM

                    OMG i feel so bad for you!!! i hope you can find a way to work this out or that you are able to get threw this on your own without him. i really think you need to stand your ground with whatever you too decide .best of luck with your decision!!!!

                    #20 *Nadine*

                    • Sr. Member
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                      Posted 25 January 2010 - 01:55 AM

                      I am so sorry to read about this and hear what you are going through I cannot imagine how you are feeling, its truly devastating.
                      I truly believe that our gut instints are usually right so if you are feeling like he is lying, most likely he is. Maybe he is not lying about what exactly you think he is but something is wrong. The fact that he won't give you her phone number is a huge red flag. If he hadnt been calling her or talking to her then he would pony up the number no problem, so its pretty clear that there is more than just emails going on. And to email someone other than YOU, his wife, the day after you got back from your wedding to say he missed her, is just wrong.
                      Make sure you follow your head on this one even if your heart is telling you something different. You deserve the truth and only once you have the truth will you be able to decide how you want to proceed. HE should be willing to give you everything you want right now if he really wants to work on things. *hugs*

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