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Why do people INSIST on stressing you????

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22 replies to this topic

#11 sweetluna

  • Jr. Member
  • 183 posts

    Posted 15 January 2010 - 08:29 AM

    Oh yes! I know what you're going through because like a lot of brides on here, I've experienced the same thing. When we got engaged we had to consider where to hold the wedding because my family is all in Ontario and his are in New Brunswick. We live in New Brunswick too and I KNEW I didn't want the wedding in ONT because I have too much family, most I don't really see/talk to but would be expected to go to the wedding. So it came down to a DW or a wedding here in NB. When we did the costing for my family to come to NB would be the SAME cost as going to Jamaica but for Matt and I the cost difference of going to Jamaica vs NB was 50% so it was a no-brainer to hold it in Jamaica. But my family is complaining they want the wedding in Ontario. So, I said, "Fine, we're going to Jamaica for the wedding but if you want to put on the reception in Ontario we'll fly back there before going home to NB." And that's what they are doing, at no additional cost for us, so it's a win-win & the complainers no longer have anything to complain about - that is until they see the wedding pictures in Jamaica and they learn just how much fun they missed! :)

    #12 jawedding

    • Jr. Member
    • 197 posts

      Posted 15 January 2010 - 12:51 PM

      Ohhhh girl, you so have the right attitude. STAY STRONG. If it's a deal breaker, it's a deal breaker. You know that you will be there, and people WILL come. Stay strong, (and be polite).. something like "this is the way we want to get married.. we understand it's a big expense, and time off work/away from committments, so while we would love for you to be there, we completely understand if you can't make it". Don't engage.. don't explain.. just keep it simple "can't come? - that's ok!'. .some of these people WILL come.. trust me.. before we picked our place we had ALL kinds of input (and threats about not coming).. we chose ROR, said what I wrote above, and low and behold we have 40 people coming.

      Do what you want girl! It's YOUR day! Don't get stressed.. if they can't come, they can't come.. you'll have a great time anyway!
      33 People Booked!!

      #13 miznunu2010

      • Jr. Member
      • 248 posts

        Posted 15 January 2010 - 04:34 PM

        WOW! Are you like my long lost twin who thinks what I think? I am going through the same thing. I dont get it cause I told people a year ago. all they had to do was put up like $75 a month but then they wait to the last minute and like oh i cant go.

        My best friend is waiting on her tax money to come which she cant file until April cause if she does the student loan people will take it. So if something goes wrong she cant go cause she too cheap to start paying.

        Other people want to stay at other resorts. I told them if they want to stay at other resorts go on thier own time because I will not let them mess things up for me.

        Dont even worry about it. For once I told myself "THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME AND MY FIANCE" no one else!!!!!

        #14 sarahkay20

        • Newbie
        • 37 posts

          Posted 15 January 2010 - 04:39 PM

          I went through some of the same stress!! Just remember this is YOUR wedding and it will be wonderful!!

          #15 allyson779

          • Jr. Member
          • 238 posts

            Posted 15 January 2010 - 04:41 PM

            I was just reading through the thread and I can not agree with you guys more! We are also getting some of the same comments- especially about price and staying at the resort. I basically just tell them my generic- "I understand" and put on a smile. At the end of the day its all about the bride and the groom... their loss
            Bride & Groom plus 86 booked!!!

            #16 Tifuhhknee

            • Member
            • 631 posts

              Posted 15 January 2010 - 04:58 PM

              It doesn't go away the further along we get, but I realize it is the same people giving flack about it. Just keep a smile on your face and do it your way! As long as you tell yourself that is it YOUR day and YOUR wedding (by you I mean you and FI, hehe). Whoever truly wants to be there will be there, those that want to and cannot will not give you a hard time because they understand, the complainers and people I frankly do not want to show up... they are self absorbed and would probably cause a scene.

              Do what works best for you. There are no worries and nothing to wish you had done differently when looking back that way.

              Are we totally not like a mob here?! HAHA
              Destination Wedding: April 21, 2011
              At Home Reception: May 7, 2011
              25 guests + bride + groom booked

              My Wedding Planning Notes

              #17 classadiva

              • Member
              • 685 posts

                Posted 16 January 2010 - 02:45 AM

                Oh boy do I feel your pain. I used to get upset...worry that no one would come...but lo and behold..after the complaints and snide comments...now all I keep hearing is..we booked our flight....we booked the hotel....we are trying to come!! The sad thing is that after so much worry that many would not come...I kind of started to like the idea of saving thousands of dollars due to many not coming!! LOL There is a silver lining in just about everything

                My favorite line with people like this...."We will miss you..."

                #18 debbmach

                • Sr. Member
                • 1,457 posts

                  Posted 16 January 2010 - 03:33 AM

                  I agree with everyone else! It's your day and you have to decide on what you want! My mom thinks we're getting married too close to xmas (jan 9) and keeps telling me it's too expensive for everyone. I just tell her that if people can't make it, then that's okay. There's a reason I'm having an AHR. I also don't want to compromise too much on what I want just to stay at some cheap resort that I won't be happy with. I really believe that I picked something that's in the middle and everyone that goes will have a great time! Just stay strong and do what you believe in!

                  58 people booked...and counting!!!

                  #19 AnnaBanana

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 376 posts

                    Posted 16 January 2010 - 03:40 AM

                    I think I posted a thread like this awhile ago, too!
                    You just have to pick and choose your battles, I guess. If they can't come, that's okay. If they don't get that you're okay with that, oh well.

                    If they get uptight about it, that's their problem, but don't let it get to you!

                    #20 Sylvie143

                    • Jr. Member
                    • 181 posts

                      Posted 18 January 2010 - 07:02 PM

                      Jenna, I love your attitude, you have EVERY right to tell them it's not about them but you. I hate it when people put way too much stress on you because they are too cheap to stay were you are staying. If that's the case, let them figure out their own hotel.

                      Good luck and don't stress, you and your honey will have a fantastic wedding!

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