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My FMIL deliberately bought dress same color as bridesmaids!


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#1 michelle6114

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    Posted 04 October 2009 - 01:52 PM

    Isn't it common knowledge that you NOT go out of your way to match the wedding party?
    I am so annoyed by this. I don't know if she did it to pi$$ me off, or just honestly has no clue, but sheesh??
    I told her many times that the bridesmaid dresses were a sage green chiffon and silver sandals. When she asked me a while back what kind of dress she should get, I just said "no black" (trying to keep it tropical). well, my FMIL just informed me that she bought not one but TWO sage green dresses to bring so she can wear which one matches better. Um, hello? Isn't this a faux paux? I am going to bite my tounge but this really aggravates me. I am quite sure if she had showed up to her daughters $80,000 wedding (which fmil paid for) in a dress that matched the wedding party, her own daughter would have had a fit. But she is planning on rolling into my beach wedding (and contributing not one cent) with a matching dress? And I have to be the nice lady and not say anything?
    I think I will have a talk with the photgrapher beforehand so she is not in too many photos with us. WTF? And to top it off, my FI thinks this is hillarious!

    #2 Tam

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      Posted 04 October 2009 - 02:04 PM

      that's crappy and totally out of line.
      I would maybe mention to her that that is the same colour as the BM dresses (which you know she already knows), but perhaps suggest if she could get the same dresses in a different colour ... maybe plant in her head that she won't want to look like she's part of the bridal party, but rather being the groom's mother, she should stand out, not blend in... pump her up that way... ?? Good luck, i would be PO'd too.

      #3 Tam

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        Posted 04 October 2009 - 02:07 PM

        PS, I love that you're going to tell the photog. to keep her out ...

        #4 michelle6114

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          Posted 04 October 2009 - 02:32 PM

          She strikes me as a total airhead, so I don't know how offended I should be. But if she shows up in silver sandals too, it's going to be me and her throwing fists right there in the sand. But this really annoys me. 12 people total and almost everyone is going to be wearing green? Ridiculous.
          Then she also had the nerve to tell me not to make her son rent a tux for the AHR because she deoesn't think it's worth the cost. I had no intention of him wearing one, but now I am tempted to have him go out and rent the most "bling" tux available... two can play this game.

          #5 Kristy!

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            Posted 04 October 2009 - 03:04 PM

            Honestly, I've seen a lot more mothers wearing the same color as the BMs lately. Who cares what she's wearing? The focus is going to be on you, not her. And if people think it looks stupid, it will reflect poorly on her, not you. I wouldn't waste your energy over this.

            #6 MayaLove

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              Posted 04 October 2009 - 03:13 PM

              I don't see a problem with her wearing the same color. Plus from what I read she was never told NOT to wear that color, just not black.
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              #7 taugania

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                Posted 04 October 2009 - 03:23 PM

                On a good note it's not white. I wouldn't let it bother you too much b/c you'll look awesome and all eyes will be on you. I can see why you are upset though.
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                #8 finzup

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                  Posted 04 October 2009 - 03:33 PM

                  Honestly, I don't see a problem with it at all. She is likely trying to fit in with you and your wedding. Do you think in 5, 10, 20 years it will matter what color dress she wore? And so what if she wears silver shoes?

                  There's nothing wrong with your FMIL wearing the same color dress (in my opinion)... however if it is something that is going to continue to bother you, you should simply, nicely tell her that you would prefer she not match the bridal party. In fact, when she asked you what color, if you felt so strongly about it, you could have told her then.


                  I also want to add that stressing over it and inventing scenarios ("...if she had showed up to her daughters $80,000 wedding (which fmil paid for) in a dress that matched the wedding party, her own daughter would have had a fit") will not help the matter at all.. don't compare your wedding to anyone elses.
                  There's enough to stress about when planning a wedding :)

                  Edit: i just noticed it's 6 days away from your wedding -- have a great time and don't even worry about the dresses :)
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                  #9 Banana11

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                    Posted 04 October 2009 - 03:34 PM

                    She probably doesn't know anything is wrong with that. I wouldn't be angry with her or hold something against her like this without knowing her intentions. Just talk to her if it bothers you and see what she has to say.

                    #10 SusieQ

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                      Posted 04 October 2009 - 04:16 PM

                      Ok i am going to play light on this and laugh!!!! When you have the pictures done have them photo shop her dress and make it pumpkin orange, just in keeping with the fall wedding.... I really do send my warmest best wishes for your wedding day..... TAKE CARE!!!




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