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classadiva

Guilt for Chosing DW

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Well my mom won't go because she said it would cost a small fortune to bring my 4 underage siblings, her, and my step-father.  My grandma won't go (even if I offered to pay for her) because she's never traveled before and isn't into the idea of starting now so I'm getting the guilt trip hard from my entire family and FI's family and friends are the only ones who are excited about it.

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Sorry that you're dealing with this.  I think it's normal for anyone who chooses a DW to get guilt somewhere along the way.  But like everyone else said, it's your day.  I had a lot of people I thought would be there, and was sad they couldn't make it.  But in the end it was okay. And for people who make you feel guilty that's there problem.  They have no right to be selfish about the most important day of your life.  

 

Good luck and try not to stress too much!  

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Congratulations on your engagement!  I actually got so stressed out by the grumblings that I just quit looking and planning anything.  Somehow, it has all turned back around and I'm back to being excited. 

 

You've picked what looks like an amazing place for everyone, and with your plans to help gets those there that you really want there ~ I think you're right on track!

 

Hopefully, once they accept it, they will get excited with you!

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This whole thread hit home with me! The night we got engaged my husband (then fiance) called his mom ... and he told her we had been dreaming of a destination wedding. Her reaction? "Why on earth do you want to do that?" Urgggh! Totally put me in a mood 20 mins after he proposed. We went to dinner ... had a wonderful time ... and we decided right then and there that we were going ahead with our plans. His whole family had that same bad attitude and mine was totally excited for us. In the end my sister, brother-in-law, and their grown kids were with us and I wouldn't have changed a thing! I kept thinking ... maybe if we'd given them more advanced notice ... but I honestly think the excuses we were given proves that they wouldn't have come any way.

 

To all the brides who are getting negative comments and attitudes ... it's up to you to decide what is most important to you and your fiance ... being where you want to be to exchange your vows ... or including everyone.

 

We made the right choice for us and our children ... and remember, we are all here for moral support when things get tough LOL *huGs* to all! Suzanne

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Ack, that's awful that people would harrass you guys over having your dream wedding.  I guess you have to decide if it's more important that certain people are there or that you're getting married where you really want to be.  I get that it's not easy for some people financially but if they can't make it work they should just say they won't be able to be there, not bother you into doing something different.

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You answered your own question...you said you chose the Atlantis because it holds special meaning to you and you wish to share that with others on the most special day of your life. Sounds to me like you couldn't have picked a better place! If other can't understand that then maybe THEY are being selfish, not you. And look at it this way - those grumblers may not come but you probably wouldn't want them at your wedding (grumbling) anyway ;)  Goodluck!

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The way I see it is you don't want to look back on your wedding and regret not doing something you really love but you will regret changing what you want for some grumblers who clearly don't wish you well. If they did they'd be happy with whatever you choose.

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You are not alone! Just like you, we knew we wanted a destination wedding before I even had the ring. So it's like we had to fast forward from the bliss of being newly engaged right into everyone's drama. I just keep reminding myself that making them happy isn't that important because those same people who are b****ing now are probably still going to have tears in their eyes as we say our vows no matter where we are.
 

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