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"You finally got rid of your fiance?"

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#31 islandbride317

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    Posted 04 September 2009 - 12:34 AM

    Oh, Karen....I am fuming about all of this absolutely unnecessary, completely ridiculous nonsense you've been going through (not to mention your sweet & kind FI)!

    What makes these people think that they've got a right to intrude on your life like that, and it's going to be "a-ok" with you?! The absurd depths to which some people will sink never cease to amaze me. And I can't believe this friend of yours (who you HAVE really been there for 100% +++) for being sort of nonchalant about the whole matter! "WTF" doesn't even cover it!

    Be strong lady, and remind your FI will little notes and unexpected surprises (if that's your thing) HOW VERY MUCH you love him and can't wait to be his wife on that beautiful day, March 6, 2010!

    We're here and WE LOVE YOU, TOO!

    #32 KarenM

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      Posted 04 September 2009 - 12:39 AM

      Kathy I love this astrology site! I love reading about this stuff, though obviously not all of it fits. ie: I'm definitely NOT a social butterfly - like you & K, I have a few very close friends & then a few more that are friends but not super close. And I would never make friends w/ someone to "make me look good". ugg. But with astrology signs, you take the bad w/ the good - I am extremely loyal and justice/fairness is a hot-button topic with me.

      Anyway, Kathy, I really understand when you say you don't feel good enough sometimes cuz I also tend to hold myself to a ridiculous standard that, of course, when I don't live up to I get frustrated about. That's def something we can (& should) work on though b/c it's not fair to us & it's certainly not good for our mental health. Just try to go easier on yourself. I like to think about what "advice" I'd give a friend who was beating her/himself up about something and then try to take it myself. Easier said than done, but it's worth a shot. Feeling guilty all the time about not being good enough is just not worth it! Life's too damn short.
      Oh, btw, where are you planning on losing 25 pounds from, your hollow leg Seriously, though, from the looks of your siggy pic, you look like you'll disappear if you lose more weight! Sorry, that's me sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.

      And KK, you're absolutely right - your friend should never have talked to that other girl about you or your plans and she should have been jumping for joy & asking what she could do to help, or at the very least say that she'd be there!! I'm guessing you didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid? You know her so if you don't feel it's worth talking to her about then I guess just sit back & see what happens. Wow, people sure can suck.

      #33 islandbride317

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        Posted 04 September 2009 - 12:43 AM

        P.S. to all of you "K" ladies....I can't say that I'm not down on myself either about a number of things (weight, lack of career success so far, etc.), but I want to remind you all that life's just too damn short to forget all the fantastic things in our lives that mean so much more that we should shift the focus to (and how crazy-lucky we are that we all found men that love the total messes that we are!) John even calls me his "mess-terpiece", and it's a title I wear with pride!

        Oh, wait! Can you guys hear what I'm hearing? Is that Christina Aguilera singing "You are beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring me down"?!? Yeah, I'm cheesy, but it's fitting, no?

        #34 ~*Kathy*~

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          Posted 04 September 2009 - 12:46 AM

          haha no worries Karenk77, you're right...I should be easier on myself for sure. Glad you love the site!

          I don't know where I want to lose the weight from, my huge gut and ass? lol the other ladies on the forum have teased me about that too, maybe I see myself differently than others see me. Body dysmorphia or whatever it's called.

          #35 KarenM

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            Posted 04 September 2009 - 01:07 AM

            Thanks, Christie - you are totally right! And I liked your cheesy song reference. :)

            Kathy, admitting you have a problem is the first step. Body Dysmorphics Anonymous may try to recruit you for their inaugural session. Seriously, though, you look great so maybe you should listen to what these other wise BDW ladies are saying.

            #36 karenk77

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              Posted 04 September 2009 - 01:19 AM

              I agree you look awesome I have no idea what you are talkin about silly girl!!!!!
              Christie- thanks for your words..your right..and ask for me talkin him up..i do that too much im like molasses im such a mush its DISGUSTINGGGGG lol
              K- I was actually a bridesmaid in her wedding and i know she was thinkin shes gonna be one in mine too so when i told her im not having a bridal party just a MOH which will be my sis & a BM she was like oh really? i said yea i dont want to have one because he has like 7 or 8 guys hed have to have and i def dont want 8 girls and even if i halfed it thats still a huge bridal party..so to simplify life i said lemme squash the whole thing but i could tell she was annoyed..she goes your right "who needs them anyway" lmao
              whatever the more i talk about it the more i realize im done with her
              thank you all for bringing me to the resolution

              #37 cougs


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                Posted 04 September 2009 - 01:43 AM

                christie, i am LOVING "messterpiece"

                #38 SSNM

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                  Posted 04 September 2009 - 02:21 AM

                  Hi, just read this and wanted to post some thoughts.

                  1. The FB aquaintance was flippant to write that about your fiance especially since she doesn't know him, but she may have just been joking and had no malicious intentions (hard to tell these things on electronic communication). I would have just told her she was flippant and really hurt you and your FH's feelings. If she is a decent person, she would apologize and be done with it.

                  2. That she tried to be all nice in a PM later was probably her way of trying to placate the situation and not to smooze an invite out of you.

                  3. As for your friend telling her about your wedding, she may have been trying to defend your FI as she did on FB and so just told her about your wedding. Not sure how much detail she gave her, but I can totally see people talking to other people saying 'oh did you know so and so is engaged' and word gets around --especially if you've advertised it on FB (not sure if you did).

                  4. As for the unreciprocated commitment from your friend, that always sucks but I think your choice to just sit back and not care is the way to go; it is good to give of ourselves to people but if it is not being reciprocated, then you don't want to 'throw what is precious to dogs' so to speak. Just 'dust your feet off' and move on to the next town (lots of bible metaphors here).

                  5. I think when it comes to weddings people don't always know what is and isn't appropriate and so we shouldn't take everything as a personal affront. I had people assume they were invited and all but demand invites but I think they just don't realize the imposition. You certainly don't have to invite anyone you don't want to and really a true friend would understand (or they're not worth inviting anyway).

                  #39 karenk77

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                    Posted 04 September 2009 - 11:06 AM

                    Maybe you're right but joke or not i think its stupid of her to say
                    and her PM wasnt later it was 2 nights ago and that initially happened around march when my semester was done
                    maybe because I am so super sensitive..but there were times before where i used to swallow crap from others because I was afraid to open my mouth..and today I just dont care to..the only people that mean the most to me are my family and my fiance and if anything happens there then i will talk until im blue in the face to clear things up..here? I am done with friendship drama long ago..i dont need 20 girlfriends or have my girls nights or whatever, im a totally diff place today..i have my few people i trust(whick keeps getting smaller lol) and thats it..cant be bothered..hard enough making sure your relationship is best as can be and everyone you love is ok..for everything else? I cant be bothered

                    #40 Lady_Di

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                      Posted 04 September 2009 - 12:44 PM

                      Originally Posted by amygirl1169
                      How RUDE!
                      Actually for BOTH of them!
                      Delete her off fb so you don't have to worry about her writing these little 'jokes' on your profile and tell your close friend to kindly keep the details of your life to herself and not share!
                      i agree!! delete her from fb... you don't have to invite her too.

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