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I want to cry.....


Chelymo

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My FI just called me to let me know that his daughter's senior prom will be the same day as our wedding!!! We asked her back in June to find out when her prom would be and she told us it would be the second weekend in May which was our original wedding date. We then went ahead and changed our date and confirmed the resort and booked our flights. ARGHHHHH!!!!!!! apparently she just assumed and did not check with anyone. Now, I'm upset because I don't want her to always remember our wedding as the day she missed her prom. But FI already said we are not changing our date again, we've sent the STD's and already ordered our invites... I'm feeling very guilty.

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Oh no!! That sucks!!! I know you are feeling really bad right now - how is the daughter feeling about it?? Maybe you could tell her to ask a couple of friends to go with her? They would have to pay of course, but it might make missing her prom a little easier if she's on vacay with some of her friends, not just her family! And maybe you could have a little prom celebration for her there!? Ooohhhh...prom in DR! I would def go for that!!!

Good luck!

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That's a bummer. I wouldn't feel guilty at all though, you were considerate and even moved that date for her once. She was irresponsible and didn't follow through on her end and you had nothing to do with that. It sucks she has to miss her prom but seriously she's going to the DR...awesome trade off!

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I don't blame you, that is a tough place to be! I have a step-daughter too. I think its definately up to your FI to make the call and if he says you aren't changing it then so be it. If he were being on the fence or wishy washy about it that may be an issue because you don't want to be the one responsible for saying "too bad."

 

I like Amanda's idea about having her bring a friend with. Or maybe you can let her decide what is more important to her? If you don't mind if she would miss the wedding then maybe she could stay with a friend during your trip so she can still go to prom, otherwise she might surprise you and chose the wedding over the prom, and if so, if she is in control of making that decision then there won't be any resentment.

 

Does she know about the conflict now, is she upset? Good Luck!

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Oh no, that stinks.

 

I think it is sweet you feel bad, it shows that you will make a great step mom to her. Remember it was her responsibility to check on the date and she is old enough to do so. Senior prom is a super big deal, but so is a wedding. She has quite a few months to get over it, but the question does come into play...would your FI let her stay home and go to prom if she really wants to go?

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oh no that is not good! I do agree that she is old enough to find out when the prom is and communicate that to you so you can plan your wedding, who knows maybe the prom date got changed or something.

 

If it were me, I'd me much happier to go on a vacation, than to my prom. Is your FI going to talk to her?

 

The idea of having her have some friends come is a great one if that will work. Then she won't feel like she's missing out.

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