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So my sister just got engaged, 3 months after I did :l


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#1 breeze616

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    Posted 12 August 2009 - 11:22 AM

    I know this stuff happens. Love is in the air. And I am happy for her. But I cant help but feel like she is taking my thunder I would never tell her that, I know I'm being kinda selfish, (and its my time of the month so Im extra emotional) but I need to vent.

    I also know its not her fault, she had no idea that he was going to propose. It was a total surprise. My REAL issues with the whole thing is my Mom is making my wedding dress and my bridesmaids dresses. (My mom is an amazing designer and is making an amazing couture gown for me) and I know my sister is going to want the same thing - how is my mom supposed to have time for both??

    ALSO this same sister is a ballroom dancer and she is supposed to be choreographing my wedding dance. She also works part-time on top of her dance business and it was hard enough for me to get time with her to work on my wedding dance - she's already said she doesnt know how she's gonna find time to plan a wedding! So now I feel bad taking up some of her time off

    We are going to try on wedding dresses this sunday (just to see what styles look good on me and get ideas) and now she wants to try some on too. So again, sharing the spotlight.

    Its also tough because I think they are going to plan for a wedding the summer or fall BEFORE mine. I had to plan a later date to give people time to save up because its a destination wedding. Hers will be local. Which is also kinda annoying cause now Im paranoid she is going to have this wonderful wedding with everyone in our family there (because its local) and nobody is going to come to mine because they cant afford it and Im going to be all alone in Jamaica. (k, thats a bit dramatic, but you get what I mean)

    I'm trying to be positive about it but I could use some support :)

    #2 *Nadine*

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      Posted 12 August 2009 - 11:33 AM

      ok deep breaths Sabrina. First of all, she is in no way stealing your thunder. You are both engaged, thats super exciting to be able to share this with your sister!! I would be thrilled if my sister and I were engaged at the same time.
      Second of all, your mom committed to making your dresses first so i am sure she will still be doing that and if your sister wants some made to, then she will have to be behind you.
      Third of all, I would just say 'lets go this day to try on dresses for my day, and then we can go this day to try on for yours' if you really think its an issue of trying them on the same day. These are easy fixes, you just have to communicate with her.
      When you planned your destination wedding I think you guys knew that you wouldnt have a big wedding like you would have had when you were at home, right? It will still be YOUR day and it will still be wonderful!!!! And so what if her wedding is before yours.. it will be her day and has nothing to do with your day. And after she is married, you will STILL have ac ouple more months being engaged on your own adn then it will be your day.
      Just relax and take a deep breath. I truly dont think this is a bad thing at all!! Hugs!

      #3 amygirl1169

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        Posted 12 August 2009 - 11:33 AM

        Yikes... tough situation. I'd probably feel the same way. The only positive spin I can put on it, is to think about of it as you're getting to share this life experience with her?

        Good luck, hope all goes well.


        #4 Jess

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          Posted 12 August 2009 - 11:38 AM

          aww Sabrina that is tough. I understand how you feel...but all in all I think this will be positive. You will get to experience all these great things with your sister at the same time...I love that.

          Feel better!!

          #5 *Heather*

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            Posted 12 August 2009 - 11:43 AM

            Awww Sabrina I can see why it would irk you a bit at first. My bff got engaged about 2 months after me, and she got married this past June ( so like 4 months before me). At first I was a bit ticked by that but then I realized I prefer it that way...her wedding is over now, and I still have mine to look forward to. I think she's the one who's secretly jealous now because she was so sad when hers was done. Like Nadine said, don't worry about your mom not finding time etc - your wedding is still awhile away so she has plenty of time to do it, and she committed to you first so she won't back out! She's your mom - she'll make it happen.

            I think it would be super fun to be engaged to your sister at the same time - now you guys get to share the experience together! Share planning resources, info, and excitement! I've been waiting for my MOH to get engaged forever and I really wanted us to be planning our weddings at the same time but her stupid boyfriend hasn't proposed yet Makes me sad. Try to look at the positives because there ARE some, I promise! It may not seem like it now but once you sit with the idea and get used to it, you'll be OK

            #6 breeze616

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              Posted 12 August 2009 - 11:49 AM

              Thanks guys. I know, I am trying to see the good in it. Of course its going to be great to share my ideas and be able to talk non-stop wedding with someone I'm already close too.

              But then of course there is always a bit of that sibling rivalry. thats what I'm trying to rise above. I guess its good that I am having a destination wedding because our themes will be totally different. I will get used to it I'm sure.

              Thanks Ladies :)

              #7 YaelM

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                Posted 12 August 2009 - 12:43 PM

                Sabrina!

                I would probably feel the same way as you at first - its def a tough situation but i think the other girls pointed out some some positives Like you get to share this fun time with your sister!!

                Also to answer some of your concerns – I think it would be worse if you were both having a local wedding or both having a destination wedding but since they will be so different there will be no comparison.

                It sounds like there will be a long enough time between your two weddings that for the ppl invited to both it shouldn’t be a big deal. Your friends and family love you and will be there in Jamaica for you regardless of your sister’s wedding!!!

                #8 ~Nicole~

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                  Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:02 PM

                  I agree with everything Nadine said. Another positive - since you're both getting married you both understand the importance of the roles you play in each other's weddings (ie planning, helping out....). I think it makes it easier to relate to each other. I actually wish I had that because my sister doesn't help me with anything, and because she's not going through an engagement and wedding herself, I honestly believe that she just doesn't understand the importance.
                  It will all work out!
                  *Formerly Nikki07*
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                  #9 Amarillis

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                    Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:47 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by YaelM
                    Also to answer some of your concerns – I think it would be worse if you were both having a local wedding or both having a destination wedding but since they will be so different there will be no comparison.

                    It sounds like there will be a long enough time between your two weddings that for the ppl invited to both it shouldn’t be a big deal. Your friends and family love you and will be there in Jamaica for you regardless of your sister’s wedding!!!
                    I completely agree with Yael.... If you were both having a DW, then family members would be in a position to choose between the two.

                    At the end of the day, those family and friends who want to go to your DW will be there, regardless of your sister's actions.

                    I would however, put my foot down... regarding sharing the limelight on dress shopping day. Simply tell her that you have made your bridal shoppe appointments, and would be happy to join her when it is her turn. I hope she'll understand.

                    #10 shellk

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                      Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:07 PM

                      sabrina,
                      omg exact same thing has just happened to me but i can go 1 better hehe.

                      my fi proposed on valentines day (cheesy i know) at the end of feb we booked our dw wedding in mexico for 4 of us.as soon as it was booked she starting thinking about getting married.i won,t bore you with the details but she got married 4th july just a really small local thing.we found out she was pregnant 2 weeks before the wedding (which is great as she has had problems in this area) but guess what date she is due to have the baby?the day of my ahr.

                      i have got over it now but i did feel like you.she is my younger sister and i love her to bits but i have never demanded any attention from anyone except for now.i want everyone to be happy for us and would like a little bit of excitement from everyone for the first time in my life.i must say my mum did take me to one side when she made the announcement to say don,t worry she will not steel your thunder.

                      all i can say is take everything in your stride it will work out.try your best to support her through your gritted teeth.that worked for me.even if she does get married first that will all be over and everyone will still have yours to look forward to.




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