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Is it just me or is this just a little insulting...

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#1 GracieBebe

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    Posted 19 July 2009 - 11:28 PM

    Ok, I know I just posted my bachelorette pics and we had a really awesome time but originally I had wanted to go away for my bachelorette party to either NYC or Atlantic City or Montreal, but my 2nd MOH (my 1st MOH is now a MOH in absentia b/c she is preggos and will be unable to travel to our DW) said that b/c she is out of work, she would be unable to travel that far and it would be better to do something local. So I agreed and we planned it for South Norwalk which is only about 1-1.5 hours away.

    Now a month later, she is still out of a job but she just got offered tickets to the 100th episode of So You Think You Can Dance and wants me to fly out to California (from Connecticut) with her last minute (the show is in 4 days) to see the show. I thought it was too expensive to travel to NYC and now she all of a sudden has money to fly out to Cali?? I mean, I understand not wanting to go away far for a bachelorette party, but don't lie to me. And not to mention, I'm pretty tight on funds as it is cuz she knows we're saving for the wedding and FH just left for his bachelor party in Vegas (yeah, I know, his buds were willing to travel) and FH and I also have a trip to Hawaii in Dec so it's not like I have a few extra thousands laying around for a last minute ticket to Cali.

    Then, get this. FH's friend who is going to Vegas with him, is able to go to Vegas but not to our wedding. Now, I understand, he says he is able to go b/c FH paid for his hotel room and that is still way cheaper than having both the friend and his wife to fly to France.

    But, earlier this week, we mentioned our Hawaii trip and how FH's mom might not be going. Well, next thing you knew, the friend says he and his wife would love to go if FH's mom backs out and he'll surprise his wife with it cuz we'll have the room to spare (it's a timeshare unit with 2 bedrooms). WTF!!! It was too expensive to fly to France for our wedding where accommodations were going to be taken care of but it's not too expensive to fly to Hawaii when Hawaii tickets are way more expensive (nearly double the price)?? Mind you, when they were considering going to our wedding, I found them airfare for $487 per person. Tickets to Hawaii are currently $879 per person.

    Is it just me or is that just a little messed up?? Are we being too sensitive about this?
    - Grace
    Location - Chateau de Challain, Challain la Potherie, France
    Engagement Date - Sept. 6, 2008
    Wedding Date - Sept. 9, 2009
    Our Pro wedding photo website:http://fanelliweddin....l&startIndex=0Our wedding planning website:http://www.mywedding...graceandmichael

    #2 itsfinallyhere

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      Posted 20 July 2009 - 12:04 AM

      i don't think you ar being too sensitive at all. I think they are the ones being inconsiderate. An occassion like a wedding ia time to celebrate and to out of your way for friends to show them what they mean to you. You are doing this by providing accommidations, amongst other things. I would be just as hurt and offended as you are. They definately seem to be fair weather friends. Good luck..Life is hard enough, friends should make it easier.

      #3 YoursTruly

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        Posted 20 July 2009 - 10:54 AM

        this is not uncommon at all and do not waste time trying to figure out the logic because there is none sometimes. you have to realize that while you would think friends would see your nuptials as important, in addition to their support of you, people are going to do what is important to them for selfish reasons. And they are entitled. Not sure if accomodations are being taken care of why it is an issue, , maybe something else is the reason and they are not comfortable speaking on it. Either way, I wish you well.

        #4 Vikki

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          Posted 20 July 2009 - 11:25 AM

          How frustrating! Just remember, you'll have a wonderful time regardless who shows up. It's aggravating now but try not to let it ruin your wedding.

          #5 The Mandy in Chandy

          The Mandy in Chandy
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            Posted 20 July 2009 - 11:38 AM

            It's hurtful when these things happen, but people don't always stop to think how they might be contradicting themselves. To me it seems like each person was being self-serving. To them, it wasn't worth the trips for the wedding, but it was worth it to them to have their personal vacations and surprise outings. Fair weather friends, indeed.

            #6 Yari

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              Posted 20 July 2009 - 11:41 AM

              I would be hurt too, but I wouldn't let it get you down for longer then one day.

              Just remember the DW mantra, " Your wedding is the most important thing to YOU and only you." Even the closest people in your lives will make decisions that will shock you.

              #7 Sloan

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              • 1,279 posts

                Posted 20 July 2009 - 01:45 PM

                People are jerks.

                One of my friends said she couldnt make it to my wedding in Jamaica b/c of the money situation, but a week after my wedding she flew to Ireland for 2 weeks.... WTF? The majority of my friends had equally lame excuses or flat out ignored me, when it came to the wedding. Fair weather friends -- are not my friends any longer. Sorry you have to deal with it too, Grace.

                #8 josee

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                • 217 posts

                  Posted 20 July 2009 - 02:30 PM

                  I would be hurt too, but you should not let it get to you. Remember that the most important person to you will be standing next to you the day of your wedding. Sorry you have to go through this.

                  #9 Meeka708

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                    Posted 20 July 2009 - 02:49 PM

                    You know what they say.People get a little jealous of during the happiest time of your life.It a shame people rather spend all their time being hateful and mean.You will loss and gain a lot of friends before and after your wedding.Your true friend will be right by you and your fiancĀ©e' side.Need less to say that your other so called friend will just be left behind.Good Luck with your planning.Always remember that IT'S YOUR DAY.

                    #10 MarieSam

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                      • LocationSouthern California

                      Posted 20 July 2009 - 05:18 PM

                      Totally agree with what Yari says -- the importance of your wedding is not something you can control in other people. Everyone has their reasons, and honestly it's not even worth it trying to figure out the whys and ifs ~ you will just frustrate yourself.

                      While you may have found a cheaper price for your wedding in France vs. Hawaii ~ you have to keep in mind that the US dollar isn't equivalent to the Euro so you essentially end up spending more in all areas. I toured through Europe a couple years ago and it was astounding to me how much more I was paying for everything because the dollar wasn't worth shit, don't even get me started on the conversion in the UK because the pound was almost double the dollar's worth, lol

                      But like I said, "friends" sometimes lose logic when it comes to DWs. Not really sure why, but everyone has their reasons. Just be happy about WHO IS going to be there because at the end of the day, your wedding day will be fabulous regardless of who's in attendance

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