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Are you paying for your bridesmaids dresses?


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#101 dkw

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    Posted 10 September 2009 - 02:33 PM

    A great thread...and an area that I need serious advice on!

    I've been debating whether to fork out another $1000 for the dresses, but I don't know if I can/should. I have my MOH and 2 BMs - we're paying for all their accommodations (including their sig others) to stay at our villa for 4 nights, which includes all their drinks and meals (all of this was a HUGE cost but one that we decided to do because we loved the villa and wanted our wedding there). Plus, I'm foregoing a "destination" bachelorette and just having my girls together for dinner a couple nights before the wedding... They pay for their plane fare, about $500-600. In our group of friends, that's the normal plane fare because we're all over the country (which is a reason we decided to do a DW rather than east coast).

    I wanted them to pick out the dresses so that they could control the costs, but in sending them some "inspiration" ideas, my MOH fell in love with a really expensive dress ($350 w/o alterations). The BMs loved them too and wanted to go forward, probably before they knew cost. My MOH urged the $$ dresses but no one has bought anything and the clock is ticking. I was going to let them wear their own jewelry and shoes so that they could personalize their looks, and will pay for their mani/pedi, hair and gifts...but now I'm thinking I should be buying the dresses too...especially since I don't have "back up" options. I know $350 is excessive, but I didn't pick them...sigh...

    Any thoughts?? Thanks ladies!

    #102 SSNM

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    • 675 posts

      Posted 10 September 2009 - 06:12 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by dkw
      A great thread...and an area that I need serious advice on!

      I've been debating whether to fork out another $1000 for the dresses, but I don't know if I can/should. I have my MOH and 2 BMs - we're paying for all their accommodations (including their sig others) to stay at our villa for 4 nights, which includes all their drinks and meals (all of this was a HUGE cost but one that we decided to do because we loved the villa and wanted our wedding there). Plus, I'm foregoing a "destination" bachelorette and just having my girls together for dinner a couple nights before the wedding... They pay for their plane fare, about $500-600. In our group of friends, that's the normal plane fare because we're all over the country (which is a reason we decided to do a DW rather than east coast).

      I wanted them to pick out the dresses so that they could control the costs, but in sending them some "inspiration" ideas, my MOH fell in love with a really expensive dress ($350 w/o alterations). The BMs loved them too and wanted to go forward, probably before they knew cost. My MOH urged the $$ dresses but no one has bought anything and the clock is ticking. I was going to let them wear their own jewelry and shoes so that they could personalize their looks, and will pay for their mani/pedi, hair and gifts...but now I'm thinking I should be buying the dresses too...especially since I don't have "back up" options. I know $350 is excessive, but I didn't pick them...sigh...

      Any thoughts?? Thanks ladies!
      Well considering they are so far paying $600 for airfare and the dresses cost $350 that brings it to a total of $950. And most of us our asking our guests to pay $1200+. I think you are okay to let them pay for a dress that they clearly like. I don't think you have to worry about it too much. If cost was an issue, they would let you know but it seems like they are very supportive of you so far and you of them.

      #103 *Nadine*

      *Nadine*
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        Posted 11 September 2009 - 12:44 PM

        I think your doing enough by paying for their accommadations, thats truly generous enough already. We paid for our wedding partys attire (and there aer 14 of them so it was a big cost) but they are paying for their trip which is really pricey so its what we did to help them out a bit.
        don't stretch yourself too far!

        #104 smith3576

        smith3576
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          Posted 11 September 2009 - 01:14 PM

          We aren't paying for their accommodations, airfare or dresses!

          However, I did tell them that they could wear whatever dress they want as long as it's navy. So they have a lot of control over the price -they've spent between $70 and $150.

          I have been in most of their weddings, where they didn't pay for anything like that (and I didn't get to choose my dress :) so it never even occurred to me to pay for all that stuff.

          The cost of our DW to them isn't really more than it would have cost for them to come to a wedding stateside, so that's another reason I didn't think to do it.

          I hope they don't read this forum - they'll feel like they're missing out!
          We're married! Jamie

          #105 pinayflava

          pinayflava
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          • 193 posts

            Posted 13 November 2009 - 01:06 PM

            i am paying for the dresses of my 9 Bridesmaids - i wanted do to it as a thank you for coming all the way to Cabo to come celebrate my special day. Plus i will prob get them matching sandals too :) hoping to find a great deal on kenneth cole sandals on black friday!

            #106 bahiabride2010

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              Posted 13 November 2009 - 08:11 PM

              I'm giving each of my girls $100...this will cover half of the dress costs and their shoes. My girls were able to take advantage of J Crews fall sale so the dresses came in at under $150 a piece including shipping!

              #107 barcelo1162010

              barcelo1162010
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              • 154 posts

                Posted 13 November 2009 - 08:36 PM

                We will be paying for my bridesmaids dresses (about $50 each); 5 bridesmaids. Will probably do a little gift for them as well.

                #108 SandalGirl

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                  Posted 14 November 2009 - 12:26 AM

                  I bought them for my girls. But just cute sundresses that were on sale and cheap flip flops! :)
                  March 4, 2010 ~ Mayan Riviera, Mexico
                  http://robynplanningbio.weebly.com/

                  #109 Tam

                  Tam
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                    Posted 14 November 2009 - 12:32 AM

                    I had initially thought I was going to, but now am not.. too many other things I am doing. I am getting them good thank you gifts, white gold and diamond heart pendants was my thought..

                    #110 diamondpooch

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                      Posted 14 November 2009 - 12:39 AM

                      My BM and GM are all paying for their own stuff. I chose a dress that's casual enough that they could wear it again if they really wanted to. I got them real pearl necklaces as their BM gifts and I'm not sure what my FI is going to buy the boys.
                      I have five BM and 5 GM so there is no way I could afford to pay for all their clothing! Wish I could, but I can't!




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