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Will I be a bridezilla if...

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72 replies to this topic

#21 Alyssa

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    Posted 14 May 2009 - 02:48 PM

    OMG yes yes yes you would be a bridezilla (for all the reasons the girls have already listed) and IMO not a very good friend.

    #22 *Nadine*

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      Posted 14 May 2009 - 02:49 PM

      I dont think you have to reconsider asking people to be in your wedding party, your just concerned about putting out alot of money and then something coming up and them not coming. I think there is a dif way to go about it though to protect yourself, if you're really worried, cause this goes go both ways.. it would be sh*tty of a friend to just decide last minute not to go KNOWING that you paid for all that stuff for them. If that were the case I would sure hope a true friend would offer to pay you back for all of it. So I agree with bachatchabride, If you haven't already told them about your plan to pay for alot of stuff, just have them proceed with buying it themselves (like 99% of bmaids do) and then at the wedding you can reimburse them all for it as part (or all) of their gift.
      This just happened with me as I am paying for all my bmaids dresses but then my one bmaid found out she is pregnant and might not be able to come. We talked it over together and she offered, and wanted, to pay for her dress herself b/c there is a big chance she might not come. So I said that was a nice suggestion, and if she does come, I will reimburse her for it. You know? Just talk to your friends about it, communication is key.

      #23 roo66

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        Posted 14 May 2009 - 03:00 PM

        I am with the girls here you really CANNOT ask your girls to sign a contract i fear that should you go down this route they may flip and reconsider how much of a friend you consider them.Now if that appears harsh im sorry but i think you should be not thinking along these lines pick the girls that you can depend on and leave it there.If you get let down then so be it life has a way of kicking us in the butt and if some dramas occur along the way your gunna just have to suck it up.Dont make issues from the start cos your seting yourself up for a big fall and lots of tears xxx enjoy your planning relax and have funxx

        #24 chocolatedrop04

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          Posted 14 May 2009 - 03:19 PM

          I agree with everyone else. i think you're wedding party would be pretty offended. However, I do understand where you're coming from and I think you should just talk to them openly about what you want from them

          #25 estella1007

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          • 475 posts

            Posted 14 May 2009 - 04:15 PM

            Originally Posted by CrystalM

            I think it's semi tacky to ask someone to be part of your day and then ask them to pay for everything
            I have a feeling that most of us on here are being "semi tacky" then. Being how it is usually standard for bridal parties to buy their own attire and pay for their own accommodations. I hope no one seriously takes offense to being called "tacky."

            #26 MarieSam

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              Posted 14 May 2009 - 04:19 PM

              I echo everyone else's sentiment. The thought of making anyone in my wedding party sign contracts to cover my own ass for expenses screams TACKY, RUDE, and RIDICULOUS. And I'd be surprised if you actually got anyone to sign such a thing.

              Sorry for being so blunt, but like the other gals have mentioned, being in a wedding is an honor in my opinion and though the monetary investment is important it shouldn't overshadow the fact that you have chosen people who genuinely care, love and support your choice to get married. This is not a business transaction this is a huge milestone in your life involving those closest to you -- friends and family, not clients or business partners.

              If you can, don't "invest" the money into your wedding party until they've paid for the trip so you at least know their going. And as someone else stated, while buying the gals their dresses, shoes, and paying for half their hotel rooms is nice -- it's not obligatory or written in stone that you must do this. DWs have their own set of adaptable/modifiable rules, if the investment part really bothers you, just do what makes you feel comfortable. Your gals I'm sure will appreciate whatever you do.

              PS -- I have 9 bridesmaids, I have only paid for their jewelry, shoes, half of their makeup/hair for the day, and have a bag full of gifts to give them for the trip. I don't feel tacky at all, in fact when some of them have seen what I've done they all feel like I've gone overboard in spoiling them. If I felt obliged to pay for most of their expenses, I'd be getting married at Chuck E Cheese, lol. There's no way in hell I could afford to cover expenses for 9 gals.

              #27 Amarillis

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                Posted 14 May 2009 - 04:26 PM

                Originally Posted by CrystalM
                I wrote up a contract for my wedding party?

                ...FI says that bringing in a contract into something like this is going to make me lose friends, but I think it's important for me not to be out that money if someone flakes on me...
                ARE YOU FOR REAL??

                I love all the discussion about this, but I am curious if you truly truly truly are serious....

                don't do it girl!

                #28 Shannond4156

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                • 169 posts

                  Posted 14 May 2009 - 04:27 PM

                  I think you got your answer so I won't add to that. But I think what you do need to do is take a big deep breath! There will be lots of twists and turns that come up with planning your destintation wedding. You will be hurt by people that can't come and by the reasons they give you. On the upside though you will be amazed by the people that take the time, money and effort to come celebrate with you. Focus on these people and how great your day will be. If someone agrees to be a part of your wedding day; chances are they will do what they can to make it. However, life sometimes gets in the way and if they are truly close friends the money will work itself out in the end!

                  Happy Planning.

                  #29 LCBride2007


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                    Posted 14 May 2009 - 05:07 PM

                    i guess i am rather amused by how you can call a majority of brides "tacky" (when their bridal party pays for their dresses) but yet seriously ask a question about having them sign a contract without thinking that that request would be considered tacky, at best. if you're so worried about the money and your friends flaking on you, maybe they aren't the best choices to stand next to you the day of your wedding! why not just skip the bridal party altogether and then no one has to be tacky.

                    #30 inunez

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                      Posted 14 May 2009 - 05:43 PM

                      i think it's a little to much. i know how you feel b/c my FI and i are doing the same thing with our bridal party. we're paying for most of their stay in JA, but the only reason why we decided to do this is b/c we trust these people and we know that if something happens they'll give us the money back. in fact we have not put down any money for anyone who has not put down their own deposit.

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