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CrystalM

Will I be a bridezilla if...

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I wrote up a contract for my wedding party?

 

 

I'm not talking about the contract like not wanting my BM's to change their hair color or no getting pregnant.

 

 

I think it's semi tacky to ask someone to be part of your day and then ask them to pay for everything so I'm buying my BM dresses, shoes, paying for half of their hotel rooms, and "lending" my photographer out to them for them to have nice pro photos of them and their families (2 are bringing her hubby and kids and the 3rd's date is her mom, who was also invited). Total is about $300-400 each.

 

If they decide after I've paid for said things not to go or can't go, for any reason, I don't want to lose the money.

 

I'm a photographer and I know the value of a contract is worth it's weight in Platinum...FI says that bringing in a contract into something like this is going to make me lose friends, but I think it's important for me not to be out that money if someone flakes on me...

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To be honest, I've never heard of something like that and am not a huge fan of the idea. I've been in numerous weddings and would have been a little offended if one of my friends asked me to sign a contract. If they are good friends, I'm sure they will do all that they can to make it to your wedding and to uphold their end of the "deal" without a written contract.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrystalM View Post
I wrote up a contract for my wedding party?


I'm not talking about the contract like not wanting my BM's to change their hair color or no getting pregnant.


I think it's semi tacky to ask someone to be part of your day and then ask them to pay for everything so I'm buying my BM dresses, shoes, paying for half of their hotel rooms, and "lending" my photographer out to them for them to have nice pro photos of them and their families (2 are bringing her hubby and kids and the 3rd's date is her mom, who was also invited). Total is about $300-400 each.

If they decide after I've paid for said things not to go or can't go, for any reason, I don't want to lose the money.

I'm a photographer and I know the value of a contract is worth it's weight in Platinum...FI says that bringing in a contract into something like this is going to make me lose friends, but I think it's important for me not to be out that money if someone flakes on me...
I don't think I would have anyone sign a contract, and would be offended if one of my friend's asked me to. I think you should be up front with your bridal party and let them know you would like them to be a part of the wedding and know that it is asking a lot to have them spend the money on the trip, but that you are offering to help out by paying for XYZ. However, when asking them give them an option to back out if they don't think they will be able to make it or let you know as soon as possible before you purchase XYZ so you don't lose out on money if they can't go. It is tough times for a lot of people right now and what if one of your bridesmaids loses their job? You can't predict what will happen so you may just have to suck it up if someone bails.

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I think i would be a little offended if someone asked me to sign this too. Maybe you shouldnt put a lot of money out for them until they put deposits down? Can you do that?

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I personally think its rude and tacky. If you think that someone isnt going to be able to make it then maybe you shouldnt include them in your bridal party if you are concerned about losing money. And in the end, if they dont go and you lose out on the money, what are you going to do, take them to small claims court?

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Originally Posted by STACEY View Post
If you think that someone isnt going to be able to make it then maybe you shouldnt include them in your bridal party if you are concerned about losing money.
I was just coming back to add that Stacey. I think you should rethink your attendants and only pick people you can absolutely count on.

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I def think that would be a bridezilla request. It's nice that you want to do all of that stuff for your friends, but IF they are your friends and something happens that they end up not being able to make it, I would assume it's something they can't help and I don't think you would be a very good friend to hold that against them.

 

Perhaps you should rethink everything you want to do for them if you are worried about the loss of money.

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I think it's nice that you're contributing $$ towards your BM costs and understand not wanting to take a loss, BUT what if GOD FORBID something horrible happens and they can't make it, like a death in the family, severe illness, whatever....will you really be more worried about the contract than about the well being of your friend? Think about all of the poor swine-flu affected brides who had people that just couldn't get to the wedding...

 

I don't mean to be harsh but

I guess you have to ask yourself what's more important...friendship or getting your money...maybe you shouldn't have bridesmaids so you don't have to worry about it.

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Personally, I wouldnt get anyone to sign a contract and would be offended if I was asked to sign one. Its nice that you are paying so much $ but maybe you should just have people that you can aboslutely count on going

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I, personally, would not be offended if you asked me to sign a contract after all of the wonderful things you are doing for your 'maids. but it looks like i am in the minority on this one, so maybe my opinion isn't the best advice today. :) I just wanted to put my 2 cents in.

 

best of luck with everything!

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