Posted 22 April 2009 - 12:19 PM
Okay, a little backstory first. Deciding to have a DW was not an easy thing for me; FI wanted it and I didn't. Part of the reason he wanted it is because he is not getting along with his brother and did not want to feel obligated to ask him to be best man. However, before the decision was made, I asked my two closest friends to be MOH and BM. Once I saw how much FI did not want his brother at the wedding and talked to my friends to ensure they would come, I agreed to a DW. Well, a month later when we sent out STD's my MOH started saying she MIGHT not be able to go but that she would do everything she could to be there. And then, FBIL, the one we didn't want or expect to come actually booked a trip with his fiance (whom we also dislike strongly). So, with my MOH on the fence and him still not wanting to ask his brother, we decided not to have a wedding party and eventually MOH said she wasn't going. I was really really hurt but was understanding because it was for financial reasons and being in dire financial straights myself I wouldn't want anyone to go into debt for me. Fast forward 6 months and she finds out that trip costs have dropped and claims to have some "extra money" and gets my hopes up again that she may go to the point that I am buying extra OOT stuff, only to have my hopes dashed again. Well, 2 weeks ago I sent out my invites for the AHR as well as last minute travel information. My address book wasn't completely up to date so I had MOH street name but no house number so I guessed. Two weeks go by and no contact from her at all, no "Oh I got the invite" or anything. So yesterday, I texted her to make sure it got to her cause of the address thing and a little while later she called me. She talked to me for like 10 minutes and didn't even bring up the invite until I finally said something. She said she got it but she has been putting off calling me because she CAN'T COME!!!!! I was fighting tears on the phone because I didn't want her to know how hurt I was. The date of my AHR is the day camp starts for a program she volunteered to be a counselor for. Now, this camp is not her "thing", she does it because it is something that her boyfriend did and got her involved in it last year. This girl is 7 years younger than me, we became friends when she was 19. She got together with him 2 years ago and it was her first serious relationship and she became one of those people who ALWAYS has to be with her boyfriend and everything she did had to include him. I tried to be understanding at first because, been there done that, and I thought it would be a phase early in the relationship like it had been for me at that age. Well two years later it is still the same and it has seriously changed our friendship. And now this. I want to be the understanding friend but it hurts, I asked this girl to be my MOH and even though we ended up with no wedding party I thought she'd be there for me along the way and she has not. She doesn't even ask about the wedding. Am I wrong or crazy? If this were me, I'd still volunteer my time at camp but ask if I could arrive at camp a day late. FI thinks I should let go of the friendship but that is easier said than done, I don't have many friends, so letting go of one is not something I want to do.