I actually MARRIED an IDIOT!
Posted 20 April 2009 - 02:01 PM
Eventually I did get out of doing laundry, if you shrink his clothes and turn things pink they don't like you doing it anymore!
Men are like puppies, they need constant training and praise! If you overexagerate how happy you are that he did the dishes, he will do them again! Good boy!
Luckily, now after years of a horrible marriage, I have found a man that is the exact opposite! My FI cooks for me everynight, does all of the "man chores" such as trash, yard, car stuff etc. He does laundry, dishes and cleans too! His mama trained him well! I still am the sole person to clean the bathrooms but thats ok, every weekend that man makes my kitchen sparkle!
Hang in there, there is still hope!
Posted 20 April 2009 - 02:32 PM
Posted 20 April 2009 - 02:58 PM
My FI doesn't do chores at all... he'll organize his clutter that builds up.
I do the vacuuming, dishes, laundry, cooking, dusting, garbage, clean the litter, walk/clean up after the dogs, grocery shop, make the beds every morning, and so forth. He may occassionally put the dishes away once every 2 months, cleans the garage (but it's his work area), most of the outdoor stuff (but I still help with the mowing and shovelling when I have time).
So when he says he's bored, I say well there's some laundry that can folded or whatever... then he'll say nah, then hop on the computer.
He works 12 days (12 hours... gets home around 7:30) and then 12 days off. I work Mon-Fri and get home around 5:30, plus run a home based business (usually delivering orders from 6-8 through the week, and various times on the weekend), participate in agility once a week, now plan for a wedding.
So I get frustrated sometimes as well. I would expect a little help on his 12 days off.
Posted 20 April 2009 - 04:44 PM
I had a fit and I think the words were along the lines of "you say this is your f*cking house then f*cking pick up after your own dog lol and you better get the sodding housework done or i'm kicking the crap out of you" lmao
That and a few more expletives worked lol it only lasts so long before I have to have another go tho lol I don't get it he has been the army since 16 he can look after himself he just can't be arsed lol
Posted 20 April 2009 - 04:50 PM
| Originally Posted by YoursTruly |
Wow - I think it has a lot to do unfortunately with the MIL spoiling their sons and doing EVERYTHING for them! I let DH know in no uncertain terms that a slob was a deal breaker for me. Fortunately for me, his mom and dad trained him to clean, do laundry, vacuum , dust etc and some days I swear he rivals me in the cleaning area! So he does slip off the wagon sometimes, but I am there o gently remind him that we BOTH work, have a child together and last I checked I did not live alone--so if he slips up, I put a "HONEY DO" list to remind him of the things I need him to do for me in that week or upcoming. It works well!
My FI gets me so mad sometimes and I do feel like his mom.
Don't get me wrong, I love his mother, but I think she shouldn't have done every little thing for him growing up. I think a mother needs to teach their children (not only their sons) responsibilty early on. Don't just do everything for them. Let them be kids too, but they should know what they need to do around the house on a daily basis.
I always say to my mom that if I have a Son or Sons that they are going to learn early on how to do chores, & even cook.
They are going to learn things that will allow them to live on their own and not depend on some girl to come along and think she has to "train" him..Like I have trained my FI..LOL
I know that every child gets spoiled to some extent, but I plan to be a hard ass when it comes to things like that.
I seriously think it all stems back to how they were raised and really...Their Mothers!!
Tell your FI that you don't remember "Applying" for this Job he thinks you have and the last time you checked it was 2009, not 1920.
And also politely remind him that the more relaxed you are, the Happier you will be and you and him will be able to spend more "time" together if he helps you out..LOL That should work :-)
Posted 20 April 2009 - 06:02 PM
| Originally Posted by islandbride317 |
God, do I ever feel lucky!
You ladies are going to positively hate me for saying this but, my FI and I have lived together for just over 3 years now, and I never even have to ask him to help with dishes, laundry, etc. -- he just does it!
But, I should admit, Rome wasn't built in a day, either. When we first moved in together, even when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend, I noticed that the only time housework ever got done was when I would do it. So, I finally got fed up one day after cleaning for hours and he asked me why I seemed irritated. And I said to him (sorry if this is a little crass) "Hey, honey? Let me ask you something. Do you think I just love scrubbing toilets simply because I was born with a vagina and it's in my genetic makeup? And let me remind you, I am your girlfriend, not your mother or your live-in housemaid! Now, here's a thought -- get to work!"
After that, point taken! Maybe dish that one out whenever your man thinks it's "YOUR JOB" to take care of everything, simply because you are a woman and his wife! After all, you both live there and create the mess!
Hope that helps, or at least you a got a laugh!
Ha Ha, I'm going to have to try this one! Maybe it will work.
Posted 20 April 2009 - 06:08 PM
| Originally Posted by bumbles |
FI and I divide our housework. Since he is, by far, a better cook, he's in charge of everything kitchen related (cooking, cleaning, dishes) as well as taking out all the trash. I take care of the living room, bathroom and vacuuming. We each do our own laundry and take turns with washing the sheets, towels, etc. Sometimes we trade chores, like I'll do your laundry if I don't have to go grocery shopping (I dislike grocery shopping) It took us a while to adjust but things are going pretty smoothly now.
Posted 20 April 2009 - 06:57 PM
Posted 20 April 2009 - 08:58 PM
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