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I'm getting married to an idiot....


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#1 saltocoach

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    Posted 07 April 2009 - 11:02 AM

    Just have to get this off my chest..... My FI and I have differing opinions on money. I think that saving for a wedding, paying income taxes, bills , etc is important. He thinks that getting money for registering his Harley is important. We "discuss" what bills need to be paid and when he can register the bike (the bain of my existence). He agrees with me and when I go off to work he goes off with his bike buddies and does it anyway. Then he tries to hide purchases from me by putting them on our company's credit card. I DO THE BOOKS!!! Does he really think that I won't check the balance? He bought motorcycle boots from the Harley store. When I phoned him to ask him what the purchase was he told me they were "safety boots" . What a crock of Sh*& ! He knows that I totally Pi$$ed at him so what does he do. Brings me flowers. Like that's really going to replace the $1000 he just spent. He's an idiot. He's cute ...but he's an idiot. Just had to get this off my chest! Sorry ladies.

    #2 lil_miss_frogg

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      Posted 07 April 2009 - 11:34 AM

      I totally feel you on this topic. FI and I agreed to pay cash for everything in reguards to the wedding. So I've been putting any extra cash I have into my "marry my honey" account. I get home from work yesterday and see five packages on our kitchen table.....grand total for CAR PARTS to a car that doesn't run and is a 'project car' $2500. I was like WTF. I thought we were saving our extra money for the wedding. He said 'he neeeeeeded them.' Bloody hell man......I guess I'm paying cash for everything....not us!
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      #3 ~Stephanie~

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        Posted 07 April 2009 - 11:56 AM

        I'm so sorry but men really are clueless! Just take comfort that you are not the only one with a man that does stupid stuff. I get so insulted with the things mine tries to get away with because its like, "really, do you think I am that dumb that I would notice?"

        I love that he brought you flowers though, that's funny that he thought that would make up for it!
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        #4 Sammygurlj

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          Posted 07 April 2009 - 12:09 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by lil_miss_frogg
          I totally feel you on this topic. FI and I agreed to pay cash for everything in reguards to the wedding. So I've been putting any extra cash I have into my "marry my honey" account. I get home from work yesterday and see five packages on our kitchen table.....grand total for CAR PARTS to a car that doesn't run and is a 'project car' $2500. I was like WTF. I thought we were saving our extra money for the wedding. He said 'he neeeeeeded them.' Bloody hell man......I guess I'm paying cash for everything....not us!
          Mine does this all the time. We talk about saving money for the wedding and then I find boxes of car parts at our front door at least once a week when I get home from work. But he needs them for his project car, which is supposed to be his HOBBY. Since when does a hobby come before one of the most important days of our lives?

          #5 hollisandsteph

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            Posted 07 April 2009 - 12:10 PM

            My husband lost his wedding band 3 months.. yes, I said 3 months after we were married. He promised me that with our income tax we will replace it. His idea of replacing it is with a golf member ship, golf balls and golf carts and says it is for "us". Yea right. Any time I bring the damn ring up, he is uninterested. It pisses me off and so as you can see I totally feel your pain!
            Oh yea, he also got a new TV!!!!

            #6 *Heather*

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              Posted 07 April 2009 - 12:15 PM

              OMG, I feel your pain here! FI and I just argued about this last night, because I'm putting all my spare pennies away while he spent over $300 in the last FOUR DAYS on drinking with his buddies! He says "it's circumstantial" but whatever...pisses me off. At least he doesn't lie to me about it though...that's kinda sketchy if you ask me...I think you need to talk to him about that for sure. You guys need to be on the same page, even if you don't agree with some of each other's purchases. There shouldn't be any secrets.

              #7 TATrisha

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              Posted 07 April 2009 - 12:25 PM

              You know, all men are "special," but the fact that he's hiding it from you and lying is concerning. It kind of reminds me of Desperate Housewives with Bre & her husband and his stealing problem.
              I think you really need to sit down with him and have a talk.

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              #8 Kat81

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                Posted 07 April 2009 - 12:34 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Tlseege
                You know, all men are "special," but the fact that he's hiding it from you and lying is concerning. It kind of reminds me of Desperate Housewives with Bre & her husband and his stealing problem.
                I think you really need to sit down with him and have a talk.
                LOL Trish! I love that show but that is a really weird story line.

                #9 Ayita

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                  Posted 07 April 2009 - 12:42 PM

                  Well... it's all in the attitude really. Also all in the communication and the dynamics of your relationship.

                  Long time ago I made peace with the fact that men and women don't want the same in life ! And this is so well illustrated by DH and I : he likes video games and motorcycles, I like shopping and nice restaurants...

                  Well, we are a bit in the same situation than you... DH can only think about getting his motorcyle. And I also am the one who does the books, haha. Well we talked extensively about it. He agreed to postpone the BIKE purchase until after the wedding. Which means basically, we return on the 12th and he gets it on the 13th ! Which is already a huge concession on his part.

                  The thing is - I know it's SO important to him - as important to him than getting a great wedding is important to me. Well, HE could not care less about this part - he says, as long as we get music and booze... And of course I could not care less about his motorcycle. But isn't marriage all about what makes the other happy ? I mean, I'm going through so much stress with all this planning, and he's really supportive and eating a lot of crap ! lol. So I think I should be supportive of what HE really wants, too.

                  And the one thing I don't want is him getting hurt on his bike ! So in order to help him being patient, and sponsor his safety, last week I got him a jacket. Then he got gloves... well he's starting from scratch so he needs to get everything !! He still needs helmet (like 500$), boots (another 500$) and jeans with protections inside.

                  Anyway, I know it's a lot of money anmd not the best timing, but I don't want him to be resentful - like, I would agree to spend 20,000$+ on the wedding and not spend the 2,000$ on his gear, where HE does not care too much about the wedding and I don't care about the bike ?

                  I just feel that would not be the right foundation for our marriage...

                  Now of course, if he would get his bike NOW (and try to hide it from me to boot) I would be really, really mad...

                  #10 saltocoach

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                    Posted 07 April 2009 - 12:59 PM

                    The problem with Mike is that he hates when I'm uspet with him. I think that's the reason why he didn't tell me he was doing this in the first place. He kinda hides things in plain view...ie. putting stuff on the credit card when he knows I check it on a daily basis. He really can't keep anything a secret. That's the reason why everyone (even my employees) knew he was proposing before I did. He called me this morning telling me he's sorry again. I was talking about this with a girlfriend and now I'm of the opinion- to heck with it! He wants to ride his bike so badly then fine. He'll just have to shut up when I for in for botox!!! Not that he'd really say anything anyway!!




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