When I asked Ex for a divorce we were civil about it, used one attorney and promised to do whatever was in the best interest of the kids and not let "another person" come between that (apparently I was delusional). We even continued to take the kids places and go out to dinner with them. When I started seeing FI, FI had no problem with this. When Ex started dating his now FI he turned into the biggest a$$hole. (Well he was before to but this was different). Obviously the outings stop which was understandable but anytime we have to talk on the phone or in person and she was with him he is an ass and to the point and whenever he is by himself he is joking and talkative with me. (This is not a complaint but it is annoying).
Over the last two years I have been nothing but nice to this woman, I have been trying to "kill her with kindness," anytime I see her I am pleasant and try my hardest to make conversation with her. My parents were divorced and I saw first hand how my stepmom made things difficult for my mom. Underneath I loathe this woman. She is constantly trying to make it clear to me that she knows what is best for my children and acts like she would be a better mother than me. (She has no children of her own yet). It makes me want to scream at her to go get her own babies and leave mine alone!
I have no problem sharing my children if she wasn’t such a hateful bitch to me. I don’t understand why she has to be that way. I know I’m the “EX†but I haven’t done anything to be treated this way and there is no reason why we can be nice. I am by no means suggesting that we be friends. I not even allowed in their house when I drop of the kids or pick them up and she is there.
I have the kids call their Dad every night before bed because that is something we started when we split (as annoying and inconvenient as it is). But whenever he takes the kids he won’t answer his phone and waits hours to call me back and never has the kids call. I don’t expect to talk to them on his weekends but I do when they are gone for a long period of time. Or for example, my youngest had surgery a few weeks ago and I let his dad take him for part of his recovery time with the understanding that I would need to be updated on his condition. He never called. When I called he wouldn’t answer and would wait hours before having my son call me back.
Last night was my breaking point. Nothing major but something completely unnecessary. I was talking to my Ex at soccer practice (he coaches, she came with) about an Easter egg hunt this Saturday (his weekend) and how badly the kids wanted to go. He is not sure if he will take them, they live 30 mins away. (he chose to move to another town away from his kids). I didn’t push it but offered to take the kids Saturday morning and then drive them to his house (we usually met halfway) if he would allow that so they could go. She was sitting in the car, not a part of the conversation and says in the snottiest bitchiest tone, “They don’t need to go to that one, there will be another one!†So I was tired of being nice and in the same snotty bitchy voice I said, “Well Ashton really wants to go to this one.†She proceed to make snotty remarks about how this is not enough notice, Ex and I both said that the note was just sent home from school that day. She shut up. (And from what I understand she isn’t even going to be home she’s going out of town for something). Obviously this is not an earthshattering conversation but it was how unnecessary the bitchiness was over something so stupid that made me so pissed off.
At this point I feel like I need to get Ex alone and let him know that this needs to stop because I’m not going to take it anymore and he needs to get her under control or I will put her in her place. I just don’t think I am strong enough to keep looking the other way and not stand up for myself even though the kids are involved. My FI doesn’t treat Ex this way despite his desire to hurt him every time I get upset so why should I have to deal with it. I just wish they would grow up.
Ok sorry,
rant done. Thank you to anyone that lasted till the end.
You should talk to your EX and just be honest with him...
