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The Army is RUINING our lives... **UPDATE-Good News!**

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#1 rach220

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    Posted 13 February 2009 - 06:56 PM

    Hi girls...I don't know where else to go...

    FI just got orders that he is supposed to deploy March 15th to South Carolina for Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan, although it doesn't say that). Funny thing is he is supposed to be out of the Army...he completed 8 years and as of July 27, 2008, he was free. He spoke with someone on the phone who told him his contract was extended because of the war (without him knowing??)

    This is not something I'm prepared to deal with right now...our wedding is booked for July...we have 10 guests who have booked already, and a couple more who are about to. I just called them to tell them not to book, but I don't want anyone to cancel yet either...what if it's all a mistake?

    More importantly, I'm worried about him. He was in Germany for a year and a half and it was HELL. And it was only Germany! This is very different. I don't even want to think about what could happen to him, or what it would be like when (if?) he came back.

    He hasn't been able to get any answers and now it's a holiday weekend. I'm trying not to freak out until it's definite, but he is falling apart. The Army has screwed him so many times (he's been deployed 5 times and was stop-lossed while in Germany) and now this?! It would be one thing if we were prepared for it, but he was supposed to be done. We even had a party last July when his commitment to the Army was up.

    He just stormed out of the house, saying he needs to be alone. I guess I just have to be supportive because obviously it's a lot for him to deal with and he's dealing with it the only way he knows how, but I wish he would include me. I told him I loved him and we would get through this no matter what, but I don't know what else to say. Now I'm sitting here all alone, not knowing what to do with myself...worrying my ass off about what's going to happen.

    It's going to be a long weekend. Any other Army wives out there?

    Married July 16, 2009
    Aventura Cove Palace Resort
    Riviera Maya, Mexico

    photo by Misti Douglas

    #2 *Lo*

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      Posted 13 February 2009 - 07:51 PM

      OMG. All I can say right now is OMG. Rach that is really crazy. I don't have experience with that but I have thought a lot about it after seeing that Stop Loss movie (I know that is cheesy, it was a movie) but it's true. The movie really affected me. I thought about all the people who experience this and it makes me so sad and almost to tears.

      I really hope it's a mistake and everything works out for you. 8 years is a long commitment and that should be recognized. I hope you can try and relax this weekend and try and find out more next week. I don't know you but I am going to be thinking about you and your FI and I know everyone on the forum is here for you and willing to help out. Maybe if it's not a mistake there will be a way for him to get out of it.

      I think you have said the right things to your FI and maybe when he has some time to process it and think about the next steps he will be very appreciative of your love and support.

      You will get through this!!

      #3 Virg

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        Posted 13 February 2009 - 08:49 PM

        OMG!! That is unreal and incredibly unfair. I hope you can take this time and perhaps start formulating plan A and plan B (maybe even plan C).
        Did he receive a written confirmation that his committement was completed? Because that could help in this.

        Stay strong together and you can get through anything.
        Happily Ever After: June 1, 2006
        Made it legal : June 30, 2009


        #4 Hartyt509

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          Posted 13 February 2009 - 09:04 PM

          Yep happens to me all the bloody time!!

          We booked our wedding then he they told him deployed to afghanistan or iraq so he went to see the top bloke and they gave him permission to be off for the wedding!! wtf! so now he's pissed because he is not leaving in a couple of weeks and is here until June because he feels he's letting "the lads down". I still think they'll send him for a few weeks before we go and he'll turn up a day before we have to leave.

          FI has done 22 years and has another 2 1/2 to go.

          I know how you feel tho its shit and you are powerless if I see him once a month i'm lucky - mind you not so sure thats a bad thing lmao

          As FI says "Life in a green suit!" or its more desert coloured these days.

          #5 sunset78

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            Posted 14 February 2009 - 01:25 PM

            Aw, that sucks. That's really unfair of them to do that, can they really get away with doing that?

            Hopefully it works out in the end for ya.

            #6 ~Melissa~


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            Posted 14 February 2009 - 01:44 PM

            Hang in there Rachel. Ugh I hate that when they do this to our loved ones. I know it sucks and you're hurting right now but just let Scott deal with it on his own for a bit. As long as he knows you're there for him and support him no matter what that's what he needs from you right now. I can't imagine the things running through his mind. What crappy timing too. GRR. I know you're worried but just deal with it one day at a time. I know a couple guys who've been stop lossed recently in the army and it's not fair at all. I guess when they sign on the dotted line (even when they're getting out) the military still can bring them back 2 years after. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. We're here for you if you need to vent. it really sucks to play with peoples lives like this. keep us updated

            #7 SunBride

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              Posted 14 February 2009 - 02:55 PM

              wow, I'm so sorry to hear this. it's really awful.

              My advice would be

              Give your boyfriend the time he needs to be alone. As much as it sucks for both of you, it does suck more for him as he is the one that is at ware and experiencing all the awfulness of it. So do your best to be there for him

              Try not to panick too much about the wedding yet, seeing as you don't know for sure what is happening. It's good that you told the others to hold off booking just in case. If worse comes to worse and he does go, then maybe he can get time off, or you can reschedule the wedding to before he leaves or after he comes back. I know that probably sounds awful right now, but it will all work out, and the important this is that you will have a wonderful wedding no matter when it happens. As for those who already booked, hopefully they could get reimbursed somehow. I know cancellation insurance covers being called away to serve (and these types of provisions usually extend to "travel partners", although if everyone booked separately you may not be considered travel partners).

              #8 BillysBride

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                Posted 15 February 2009 - 11:50 AM

                Ugh. I'm an ex-Navy wife and I do feel some of your pain.

                There may yet be something he can do...but I know how you feel having to sit and wait over the long weekend. Just not knowing anything when you have all this crap buzzing around in your head is torture. You're doing great though..you've got the right attitude (wait and see) and all you CAN do as far as he's concerned is just what you already did. Show your support and let him deal in his own way. As hard as it is for you, it's doubly so for him and obviously, you already know that. Just hang tight and see what happens. Update us when you know more!

                http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
                http://global.thekno...rs/tt265ad.aspxhttp://www.mywedding...nnah/index.html20 STD's w. pre-lim RSVP sent 6/15/09: 7 "Yes" so far/10 guests total!

                #9 rach220

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                  Posted 05 April 2009 - 01:11 PM

                  So FI just heard that he is NOT going to Afghanistan...it was all a mistake...the computer system had him listed as being stop-lossed until 2031, which was WRONG. He is out of the service, does not ever have to do anything again and now we can focus on the wedding and not on freaking out! Thanks for all your messages girls...I don't know what I would do without this place :)

                  Married July 16, 2009
                  Aventura Cove Palace Resort
                  Riviera Maya, Mexico

                  photo by Misti Douglas

                  #10 happygilmore

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                    Posted 05 April 2009 - 02:00 PM

                    I am so happy things worked out! Hopefully you weren't to stressed out during this whole situation

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