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hitting a wall

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#11 litl_april

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    Posted 21 January 2009 - 06:59 PM

    I feel for you! I've had many "wall" moments throughout the entire process. I think a lot of my problem is there because FI seems so carefree about it all, like it happens magically (umm...I wish), bridesmaids are all single, but they're my favorite people in the world..but the two of them have always been single (one being my sister who's frequently criticizing me) and the third just went through a divorce. FI and I also just relocated 10 hours from anyone I know for his new job which has made things stressful for us both. Planning has been quite a bit more stressful for me than I ever imagined it b/c my dad can't shut up about our decision for a destination wedding even when I try to explain to him that this is saving us a lot of money and he gets a vacation that he'd NEVER take otherwise but really wants to. Top it all off with another friend planning a wedding 2 months after ours who is a little on the bridezilla side expecting me to drop everything to care for and come up with ideas for her. Haha, that part I guess makes me a little more relieved about the move!
    I think that these feelings come around and happen to almost everybody. Hang in there! It's great that we all have a place like this that we can get it all out with those who we know are going to be supportive. As others have said, don't push yourself through it half-heartedly. Take a breather, recover yourself.

    #12 Hartyt509

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    • 2,262 posts

      Posted 21 January 2009 - 07:04 PM

      I hit my wall months ago, so don't worry lol problem is i can't get back up to the game so i've decided sod it i'll wing it i just don't want to think about it or be anymore pissed off with people disappointing me lol

      #13 ikupoo

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        Posted 21 January 2009 - 07:19 PM

        Originally Posted by paraisobeachbride2009
        Hmmm, while I can't say I've really been there, I will say that that is exactly why I'm trying to do this as laid-back as possible.

        I do not have a wedding party, I did not send STDs or official invites (I let our parents on both sides let anyone in the family who wanted to come know about the wedding...it's basically an open-invitation to family, the more the merrier but no bigee if they can't). I'm not doing OOT bags as half of the people attending have already been to Mexico and know what to expect and those who haven't probably have a good idea.

        I think why I'm doing it this way is part laziness (I'll admit I'm not the biggest DYIer out there, though I love what many of the ladies on BDW do for their weddings, good on em for having that kind of motivation!! ) and part trying to make this as cost-effective as possible. I have essentially made all the decisions that matter in regards to the wedding location/date/time/food/etc, and the FI just gives it his obligatory blessing haha.

        I'm sorry to hear you're stressed, if I lived in Calgary, I would totally offer to help you out! :) I hope everything turns out for you!

        Mmmm, I think I have the same attitude as her.
        As I watched Bridezilla marathon on on-demand, one common thing that these brides have is that they feel that every little detail has to be PERFECT(aside from them being crazy). I refuse to put that kind of pressure on my self, knowing that I won't be able to enjoy the process of planning if I do. I made things easier by paying attention to things that I care the most, and fake the rest. For example,
        1.I did email STD
        2.pass on OOT bags but spend more money on nice wedding favor
        3.Forgo wedding cake, since I can't eat wheat
        4.Invited limited amout of people that I'm actually friends with now, not in the past
        5. Pass on wedding party. I don't need them.
        6. Politely accept, but don't listen to my mom's extra advice

        Unless somebody dies or my fiance cannot make his own wedding, I refuse to be angry on my happy day. Then it's assured that it'll be a perfect day even if not everything goes right.

        #14 calchik

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        • 166 posts

          Posted 22 January 2009 - 04:43 PM

          awww...thanks girls. i feel much better knowing i have support out there and that i'm not being excessively crazy and emotional. it's hard cuz none of my friends are going through wedding planning so nobody understands and everyone just assumes it's because i have too much to do or i'm behind schedule. it's more the lack of support than the tasks themselves.

          i'm taking a break from the wedding planning. a lot of the big things are accomplished so i'm just working on the nice to haves which can wait. i know spending some quality time with FI and not having to discuss the wedding will probably relax us both. it'll all come back why we're doing this, and how much fun it's going to be once we get there. i feel much more optimistic now, all thanks to your kind words

          i figure i'll ease myself back into it with exciting tasks like finding my AHR dress...i'm thinking bright pink, green or blue and backless. maybe in a few weeks i'll flounce about my home in my full wedding attire, that'll get me reved up to start it again. lol

          #15 nibsmom

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            Posted 01 February 2009 - 12:52 PM

            Taking a break is a great idea! I'm glad you feel okay doing it! I would find something else to immerse yourself in for a while, to balance you out. No one can tip the scales so far in one direction without burning out after a while. Get back into the hobbies or whatever you were into before you started wedding planning to get your spunk back!!

            And flouncing about in your dress is always a great motivator...*sigh* I wish I had mine!!

            #16 Prettyhazardous

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              Posted 02 February 2009 - 03:02 AM

              Ok So it's funny because I've only been planning for 3 months and my wedding isnt for another 9 months yet I feel like I'm in the same place as many of you.
              Thus far I've sent out invites... the end.
              My main isssue is regarding finances because I recently moved into my FI's home and we had decided that I could quit my parttime job and keep my fulltime. So I did. My FI's parttime job is at our church and we just found out that our church may be closing or they may have to fire the musicians in order that the church stays open. My FI is the bass player. So now my wedding plans are in jeopardy and my honeymoon is prolly non existent at this time. BC neither of us have our parttime jobs. I guess it was stupid of me to quit my job DURING A RECESSION!!!
              I too said that I would take one full week off as a break from the planning but it's almost impossible to tell my WC not to email me or my mom not to want to discuss what she's wearing to my wedding in 9 MONTHS!!! Or how do I stay off of BDW for a week lol.
              Starting tomorrow I'm taking my week of (Minus my biggest loser weigh in haha).

              #17 bumbles

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                Posted 02 February 2009 - 11:00 AM

                Have a fun wedding-planning break! I did that for two months Nov-Dec. It was so nice not to do anything, although I did continue to look at BDW and other sites. It was fun to look at what everyone is doing without feeling the need to make a decision or take action on anything at all :)

                #18 Jen_S

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                  Posted 02 February 2009 - 11:36 AM

                  Oh I have been there also right about the same time as you. MY FI was involved to help pick the big stuff but the wedding was too far away for him to focus on. We have gotten hardly any help from anyone, except for my mom. Now that we are in the final weeks FI is involved just as much as I am and my mom is helping left and right.
                  Our Honeymoon In Ireland!!

                  #19 *Casey*

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                    Posted 02 February 2009 - 12:17 PM

                    I'm in the EXACT same boat as you, so trust me... you're NOT alone! Maybe it's just this stage in the planning when this happens because our dates are pretty close. I just want it to be all over and be married. I don't care about stuff anymore that I should. I don't care about the flowers, garter, centerpieces, guest list... the whole damn thing. My friends are driving me crazy too. I know they could give a rats ass, but just ask to start up conversation. I always just say fine, and change the subject, because I don't even want to think about it. I just want to give up and go to City Hall already!

                    #20 stefnicole

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                      Posted 03 February 2009 - 11:34 PM

                      I wish I was done with all the planning already. At least the important things are done, so I can sit back and be lazy for a while.

                      I know some people say that they miss the planning after their wedding is done and over, but I honestly can't imagine me saying that.

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