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hitting a wall

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#1 calchik

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    Posted 21 January 2009 - 01:42 PM

    i have hit my wedding planning wall
    i just don't want to do it anymore.

    i don't want to research things on the internet, i don't want to go shopping for the things i know i still need to buy. i don't want to fill out guest and budget spreadsheets, check off things on check lists, finish DIY projects. i just want to stop wedding planning.

    i'm tired, i'm fed up. i feel alone and i seem to be the only one who cares. my friends ask how the planning is going but when i answer they obviously could care less and were just asking to be polite. my MOH is a lawyer so she barely has any time as it is and doesn't think it's close enough for her to be concerning herself with my wedding. my parents have all of a sudden taken an interest in my wedding: inviting random ppl to mexico, wanting to change the wording of my invites, messing up things i planned months ago.

    FI has helped me make all the big decisions but now that it's down to the little details his help has stopped. i gave him one big job: plan our honeymoon and he hasn't done anything on it.

    i am praying this is just a phase, i'll get over and be happy planning my wedding again. i'd hate to go through my last few months of planning only doing it cuz i know i'll regret it if i half ass it.

    anyone else been here before? please tell me i'll be excited about my wedding again and not feel like it's a burden that nobody cares about except me. so much time, effort and money for one day and i just don't want to do it anymore. i want to get married more than anything in the world, i just don't want to plan it anymore

    #2 TATrisha


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    Posted 21 January 2009 - 01:46 PM

    Trust me, I was there!!! I think I overwhelmed myself trying to think of all the little details that I just needed to get done and how I was going to do them, and then of course the wedding coordinator at the resort refused to e-mail me back, so that added stress. It all amounted to me being BURNED OUT!
    It was at about that point that I said forget it. I sent out my invitations and really stopped keeping track of stuff. I figured if they were coming to Mexico, it'd be pretty obvious (unlike a traditional wedding with people not RSVPing).
    And when I got to the resort it was the most beautiful thing ever and everyone was so helpful. My biggest regret is worrying so much about the small little details when the BIG thing I should have been excited for (the marriage, the trip, the friends & family who were coming) got pushed aside while I worried about stupid place cards.
    Trust me. Your wedding will be fantastic! The resort is amazing and you'll love every minute of it. You just need to take a step back and take a break. Don't worry, everything will be great!


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    #3 Andi


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      Posted 21 January 2009 - 01:49 PM

      Oh no! I am sure the feeling will pass as your wedding gets closer!

      Maybe you just need a mini break from it all and then the excitement will come back!

      Do you have a lot left to do? If it is just a bunch of little things maybe they are things that don't really need to be done!

      Also we are all here to help you with anything...so if you need any assistance I am sure you can find it here!

      #4 boscobel

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        Posted 21 January 2009 - 01:51 PM

        Ditto to what Trisha said. I could add more, but she already said it all!

        Take a break if you need to, a week, a month, whatever. Sometimes we just need to walk away from stuff.

        #5 Betsy


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          Posted 21 January 2009 - 01:53 PM

          I was there too - I think what happens is we start concentrating on things that don't really matter in the big picture and it just gets to be overwhelming! The beauty of a DW is that once you get there the resort helps you with EVERYTHING!! Think of all the brides out there who don't know about this site - they must be so lost when they get to there trip - and we have this amazing place to find out stuff and vent to each other!! Now when I think back on my wedding I can't remember the exact appetizers we had but I do remember being surrounded by my family and marrying the man of my dreams which is the truly important part. Don't worry or get to stressed out about it - everything will work out and the stuff that seems so important right now will fade away and all you will remember is having the happiest day of your life with people you love all around you. Good Luck sweetie!!

          #6 JUSTUSTWO


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            Posted 21 January 2009 - 01:53 PM

            Awww...sorry for your frustration!
            Yes, this is perfectly normal & although you feel alone, your not. I have certainly been where you are now.
            I think that as happy as our friends/family are for us when we start planning, they don't stay as excited throughout cuz its not their big day! Its not all they eat, sleep, drink & dream about, thats left for us brides! LOL

            Why don't you take a week off! If you can't take an entire week off, then try a few days. Don't do any planning, no research, nothing wedding related. Relax & have some fun with FI or with some girlfriends.
            Try a spa day or something else relaxing!

            Just as you need a break with work & everyday stuff, you surely need a break from wedding planning too!!!
            And don't worry, you'll get excited again & your wedding will be wonderful & everything will fall into place.

            #7 ~*Kathy*~

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              Posted 21 January 2009 - 01:56 PM

              Hmmm, while I can't say I've really been there, I will say that that is exactly why I'm trying to do this as laid-back as possible.

              I do not have a wedding party, I did not send STDs or official invites (I let our parents on both sides let anyone in the family who wanted to come know about the wedding...it's basically an open-invitation to family, the more the merrier but no bigee if they can't). I'm not doing OOT bags as half of the people attending have already been to Mexico and know what to expect and those who haven't probably have a good idea.

              I think why I'm doing it this way is part laziness (I'll admit I'm not the biggest DYIer out there, though I love what many of the ladies on BDW do for their weddings, good on em for having that kind of motivation!! ) and part trying to make this as cost-effective as possible. I have essentially made all the decisions that matter in regards to the wedding location/date/time/food/etc, and the FI just gives it his obligatory blessing haha.

              I'm sorry to hear you're stressed, if I lived in Calgary, I would totally offer to help you out! :) I hope everything turns out for you!

              #8 YoursTruly

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                Posted 21 January 2009 - 02:32 PM

                I agree with the girls and it stems from not pacing yourself. Sounds like you are very organized and sometimes we just have to realize that an emergency on our part does not equate to a crisis on theirs ---so lesson is relax. Pace yourself and just go with the flow. Everything will be fine. I too think of the tons of things I have to do and at the end of the day I am prioritizing the must haves and the non regrets if I don't get around to it.

                #9 samanthag

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                  Posted 21 January 2009 - 02:47 PM

                  "HIT THE WALL" is exactly what I've been feeling too.
                  My situation is that we were ready to marry April 25, 2009 in Puerto Rico.
                  Sadly FI Dad passed away so we changed the date to April 2010.
                  Ever since we changed the date I don't want to plan!

                  I too have hit the wall!

                  Maybe just a little break is all we need for the excitement to pick up again....

                  Good Luck to you sweetie!
                  Let us know if you need anything!

                  #10 sunsetbride1

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                    Posted 21 January 2009 - 06:18 PM

                    It happened to me as well.. so, here is what I did-
                    I highly recommend taking a little sojourn.
                    Then.. once u feel a bit less overwhelmed - break it up into pieces and prioritize.
                    After that, do what I did .. and force FI to make a date with you to do wedding stuff.
                    That made me feel better...

                    And.. then sometimes as I do when Im at work feeling overwhelmed - take a deep breath and remember that nothing you are doing is life or death. Enjoy things for what they are and stop stressing the little stuff (I know.. easier said than done!).

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