What do you think about guests bringing random guests?
Posted 06 January 2009 - 02:39 AM
What do you ladies think
Posted 06 January 2009 - 02:49 AM
Recently, I had to sit down a dear friend and ask him not to bring a girlfriend so we could invite more of our close friends since our budget is so tight and we can only have so many people.
He was really understanding and I think he appreciated me brining up sooner than later.
Not to mention it was a huge weight off my chest.
Posted 06 January 2009 - 02:52 AM
Our resort is not all-inclusive, so we are paying several hundred $$ per guest for all of the events, so that's a lot of extra money to add..
I think people who are not married do not understand how expensive each extra guest is or the feeling of only wanting people you know and care about at your wedding - or at least I definitely didn't before I was planning my own wedding.
So for you - if she doesn't know anyone else and you really do want her to be there, than I think you did the right thing saying yes.. at least she asked
Posted 06 January 2009 - 10:14 AM
What if they are paying for themselves? Can guests bring whomever they want to your wedding if they are footing the bill? Does the bride/ groom have any say if people want to bring others who are paying for themselves and their vacations?
I recently had this discussion with a gf of mine too who wants to bring someone I am not comfortable with to my wedding. She has been in an off and on, tumultuous relationship for years with this person. I once exchanged words with him about his poor treatment of her and it became a heated discussion.
They broke up 2 years ago, but now he is back and she is trying to make it work again...even though he hasn't shown any change. She wants to bring him to my wedding...for one whole week. In the same breath, she tells me he has already made disparaging comments about my wedding.
I lovingly said no.
Another gf told me that I cannot dictate who people bring on vacation...I do not own the resort and if people are paying for themselves, we cannot dictate the guest list.
I disagree. A bride has every right to be comfortable on her wedding day and for the week of her wedding, in the case of a destination wedding. Guests have gathered to see us married...not only for the purpose of a random vacation.
Therefore, I feel that we must do what will make us most happy and comfortable...gently, so that we do not damage our relationships.
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Posted 06 January 2009 - 10:23 AM
Posted 06 January 2009 - 10:27 AM
Plain and simple, a lot of people will look at the trip to whatever beautiful destination you choose to get married as a vacation. You can't change that perspective and you'll drive yourself insane if you try. So, control what is reasonable: YOUR WEDDING; and let them do what they want with their vacation.
And honestly... if you tell someone that they are welcome to travel with their cousin with the body odor and flatulence problem, but that because of budget constraints you simply won't be able to accomodate them at the wedding events, chances are that they will decide not to bring the cousin.
Oh, and if they suggest that they foot the bill to have the cousin attend your wedding events, tell them that you appreciate the gesture but don't want to open that can of worms because god knows who your mother/FMIL/sister/MOH/etc., will want to bring.
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Posted 06 January 2009 - 10:50 AM
Posted 06 January 2009 - 11:01 AM
So I think IMHO they have every right to bring a friend, but you have to tell them politely that they can't come to dinner due to costs and your friend should totally understand and respect that.
Posted 06 January 2009 - 01:25 PM
But if she doesn't have anyone else to travel with, then I guess she has to bring someone. I don't know it's a tough situation. But like other ladies have said, at least she asked you first.
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