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#21 Davematthews16

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    Posted 05 August 2008 - 02:24 PM

    I know it's tough, but if you were in an abusive relationship, there's NO DOUBT you did the right thing! I was married once at 21 to a guy who fooled me up until we said "I do" Then his alcoholic crazy personality came out. I stuck it out for 9 months and lived absolutely miserably. The day I left him was the best day of my life. If you ever need to vent or chat about it PM me, I have a million stories that will remind you you did the RIGHT Thing! YES, go to Mexico, or wherever you want so you can relax! It takes a lot of guts to be a strong woman, and there aren't a lot of women out there who are. I'm proud of you and I don't even know you. I wish my best friend would "see the light" and leave her abusive husband of 4 years. Maybe someday.

    #22 Chiquita

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      Posted 05 August 2008 - 02:28 PM

      Oh Lisa I'm sorry to hear about your troubles but you did the right thing. I was with someone who was emotionally abusive too, and you don't realize it right away. But once you do, you know you did the right thing. And definitely go away with your best friend or someone close in your family.. you totally deserve it!!!

      #23 Jenleopard

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      • 204 posts

        Posted 05 August 2008 - 02:36 PM

        Lisa...I am so sorry to hear your news!

        I think you should totally take a vacation! You deserve it!

        Best Wishes!

        #24 SunBride

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          Posted 05 August 2008 - 02:38 PM

          Congratulations on calling off your wedding. I know that sounds like a weird thing to say, but you are so courageous for doing so, and you should be really really proud of yourself. I wish you the best in moving on with your life and eventually finding a new love.

          #25 tchuchuca

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          • 361 posts

            Posted 05 August 2008 - 02:48 PM

            I'm so sorry!! I can't imagine being where you are emotionally right now... I definately think you need to go to Mexico- the sooner the better! Hey, it worked for Carrie when she took the girls in the SATC movie!

            Good luck!

            #26 melwru

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            • 207 posts

              Posted 05 August 2008 - 02:51 PM

              I'm sorry to hear you are going thru tough times but you should be SO proud of yourself for making the decision to leave your FI. You are so strong and courageous. I agree you SHOULD go to mexico! You deserve it! Good luck selling your OOT stuff. In fact, when you decide to post your items PM me and I will take some stuff off your hands for you.
              take care and chin up!
              We are all here for you and supporting you 100%.

              #27 DanielleNDerek

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                Posted 05 August 2008 - 03:16 PM

                I'm really sorry Lisa. I'm sure everything will work out for the best. You should definately go to Mexico. I think that would be a great trip for you and your girlfriends.
                ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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                #28 Jacqueline

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                  Posted 05 August 2008 - 03:24 PM

                  Originally Posted by Stormsong
                  My ex was surprised....he didn't see it coming.
                  He was...abusive. Just took me a while to see it. He was angry ALL the time at everything. And took it out on me. I didn't clean enough, cook enough, the cats shed too much...everything was my fault. I just....realized i didn't want to spend my life like that. You know? I still wonder if i made a mistake....but...i don't think i did. I wasn't happy for a while...just...had a hard time admitting it to myself. <shrugs>
                  I still miss it though...the wedding planning. Anyone need any help? lol.
                  Good for you! It's normal to feel like "..maybe I made a mistake, maybe things CAN work out..." but you are so smart for leaving now, while there are no strings attached and even worse, something else very bad could have happened. Again, good for you for being such a strong woman, I am SUPERR proud. When the time's right you will find a man who will give you the respect you so deserve, and you will once again be planning a wedding so dont sweat it ;o) In the meantime you have BDW gals to help and keep you busy, so dont be a stranger to the forum!


                  #29 kevsgirl

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                    Posted 05 August 2008 - 03:38 PM

                    Wow. I'm so sorry to hear your news, Lisa, but really proud of you (even though I don't know you) - that you not only realized what was going on, but decided to do something about it for yourself on your own.

                    I was with someone before too (and engaged). We broke up, but it was mostly because he wanted it to end. I'm so grateful that he did that, because it was so unhealthy. Even so, it's a very difficult thing to do - because you get so close to your partner. He was my best friend for 5 years.

                    We're all here to listen whenver you need to vent.

                    Definitely go to Mexico. Make it your "new start" vacation. It'll be so much fun!


                    #30 KarmaB

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                      Posted 05 August 2008 - 03:56 PM

                      I am so sorry to hear your news. But, honestly if he was abusive even just verbally than this was 100% the best decision you could have made. My ex was verbally abusive and turned physically abusive soon after and leaving him turned out to be the best thing I could have ever done for myself. We are all here if you need support, just take some time off from thinking about the "wedding" because one pretty day is totally not worth a lifetime of being miserable.

                      Have a great time in Mexico, that is a great idea!

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