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Babies...have them already or plan to ?

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#31 happyone

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    Posted 17 June 2008 - 01:50 PM

    Originally Posted by cmmdee
    When we got engaged 1.5 year ago, I said, that right after the wedding, I wanted to try for a baby. But now that it's 18 days away, I don't feel that way anymore. It is a HUGE thing. I know when I get pregnant and it happens, no big deal, but I guess I'm scared of the prospect of having kids and what a major thing that is. I sometimes feel like I'm alone in that sentiment since most people want to get pregnant the moment they wed. I'm just afraid cause I have never had a child or have never cared for one. I do want children some day and I'm sure it will happen when it's meant to. I'm sure it would be a great blessing in my life. But I am scared.

    Does anyone else feel that way?
    It is a major thing! I am definitely not ready and have no idea when I will be. At this moment we just want to enjoy our wedding and honeymoon and do some traveling. I am scared and just not at that point in my life. I say don't rush it. I don't think we'll ever stop being scared, though. It's a scary thing those kiddos.

    #32 happyone

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      Posted 17 June 2008 - 01:59 PM

      Originally Posted by KLC77
      My FI has been the one wanting to try now. I keep telling him we have to wait til after the wedding. lol I'm kind of hoping he'll be ok to just let it happen when it happens. I wouldn't mind being married for a while and enjoying each other. I kind of feel a little selfish like some others have said- there are some things I still want to do before putting a child first in my life.
      Amen, girl. I think you are specifically being unselfish because you know one day you do want to put your child first.

      #33 SusanK

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        Posted 17 June 2008 - 02:04 PM

        We got pregnant on our wedding night (give or take a few days)! I finished my last pack of pills about two weeks before that. I really thought it would take awhile because both of my sisters struggled with fertility- but obviously not! By the time we were home from our honeymoon I just had the "feeling", and a few weeks later it was confirmed. 38 weeks later, we are expecting our little girl in two weeks :o) My DH is already ready to go for #2...easy for him to say!
        Susan&Matt 10-12-07, Mia Lily 7-9-08, Charlie David 6-28-10

        #34 Birdie07

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          Posted 17 June 2008 - 04:58 PM

          Well, my DH knew when marrying me it would be hard to get pregnant. Knowing that and knowing we wanted children right away we didn't wait to start ttc. B/c we knew it could take a while and we wanted to dry doing it naturally as long as possible. So we've been trying a while actually. And we are bugged constantly about when we're having children which makes it ton harder. I actually took time off from trying b/c the stress was killing me. And seeing babies everywhere was making me a mess!
          Also we plan on adopting children. My DH wants one of our own before adopting but if that takes longer than expected we might adopt first and then try. Depends on timing.

          About the being nervous of being a parent. No, I'm not. I've been in childcare 12 years. I've watched tons upon tons of kids. I know what I want to do and not want to do. I know people say it'll be different with your own kid but I still know how I want to raise my child and what things I won't do and will do. I'm more nervous on carrying a baby to term than actually raising it.

          #35 Hartyt509

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            Posted 17 June 2008 - 05:56 PM

            When I mentioned it to FI a couple of months ago I thought he was going to faint lol!! He's got another 4 years in the army and that means if it did happen i'm really gonna be a single parent with very little if no support network together with i've been warned if I do have kids I may have severe health problems so its a big thing to consider.

            I'd love kids but I just think i'm probably too selfish and I know FI certainly is - the thought he'd have to move his PS2 and crap out of the spare room brings him out in a cold sweat lol He did say he thought we had missed the boat and that I was too old!! I'm 35 lmao

            So as much as I would love to have kids not sure it will ever happen

            #36 Davematthews16

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              Posted 17 June 2008 - 06:45 PM

              I'm SOO excited to have kids!!!!! After we're married our motto is "whatever happens happens." I was on the pill for a lot of years and have been off of it our entire relationship. We are "careful" if you know what I mean. I've always been affraid in the back of my head that I will have problems conceiving (I don't know why) so if I end up pregnant between now and the wedding I would be ecstatic.

              #37 kevsgirl

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                Posted 17 June 2008 - 07:47 PM

                Originally Posted by TA Maureen
                I don't mind answering, I was not on the pill before trying to get pregnant. I was on the patch (same drug as pill) for a few years and then nothing the year before the wedding just used alternative methods until the month of the wedding when we started trying. However, my sister has been on the pill for a few years and she went off this month because she gets married June 27th and they wanted to start trying right away. Well what do you know? She got preganant the first month being off the pill so I guess it doesn't take that long to get out of your system.
                FI and I talked about this before we got engaged and after we got engaged decided that we'd start trying around the time of our wedding.
                So, I went to the doctor in April just to chat about prenatal vitamins and whatever I should do.

                She told me that having to go off the pill 2-3 months before trying is an old myth that the doctors used to tell people, so that they'd be able to figure out when the baby was going to be due! Back before they had better calculations for due dates...
                All in all, she said that I should start taking prenatal vitamins about a week before trying to get pregnant and same with going off the pill. No real prep required.
                That said, for some people it takes a while to get their bodies back on course after going off the pill, so you never know.
                I think I'll go off in November or something (WD is in December) so that I have a month's head start.

                We both really want kids and want to get started rightaway!

                #38 Kelly C

                Kelly C
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                  Posted 17 June 2008 - 08:04 PM

                  Well i have a 9yr old from a previous marriage. The first month off the pill I got pregant. My FI doesn't have an kids and wants one. Soooo we are going to try for one. I am 37 and I told him we have a small window of time. I really didn't want to have any chidren after 35 but that wasn't in the cards. And I believe if that is something you really want you should get to have one.

                  My doctor wants me to be off the pill for 6 months and taking prenatals.

                  As far as being scared don't be. Your own are much differnt than your own. Trust me my girlfriends and I joke around that we don't like other people kids unless we can treat them as our own.
                  Kerrington Danielle was born 6/23/09 12:31 pm 7lbs 14oz.


                  #39 Angel

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                    Posted 17 June 2008 - 09:49 PM

                    Well I have 2 kids, my daughter will be 7 in Aug and my son will be 4 in Aug and my FI doesn't have any. I had them when I was young and I made it clear to my FI in the beginning that I didn't want anymore. I know I'm being selfish but I don't feel like messin' around with the diapers, formula, sleepless nights and 2 min showers. I am just now being able to travel and do a lot of stuff I didn't get to do.
                    I made the mistake of telling him that I would think about it after we get married. With him being with my kids 24/7 it makes it worse because he brings it up a lot. I told him that if I do have another one that he would have to pay for a tummy tuck or lipo. He said that was fine. But to top it all off, he doesn't want me to work because I already pay a lot in daycare so there would be no point in me working because my check would go straight to daycare. WTF!!!! I don't know what that means!!!!! I've worked since I was in HS. No offense to all of the stay at home moms but I would drive myself crazy. After I had my kids I couldn't wait to go back to work.
                    So a little advice to all who wants kids, save, save, save because daycare is outrageous.

                    #40 2bebridejamaica

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                      Posted 18 June 2008 - 08:48 AM

                      Thanks so much Danielle!!!

                      It has been a huge and crazy ride... but we have found out that after all of it.. we just need a paper to make it legal. We have everything we want, even going backwards with it all. In some ways we were thrown into this and won the battle a few times. "everything happens for a reason".

                      We know that we want to have 2 more chillin's coming down the road and Noah really wants to be a big brother like a yr ago. And I am sooo beyond ready cuz Noah as of yesterday is now classified as a kindergartener... YIKES!!!

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