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What is the biggest source of conflict in your relationship?


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#11 Yari

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    Posted 11 June 2008 - 01:37 PM

    Right now it's money...he makes a great living and I do well, but it is never enough. We just did our budget on Sunday and had to start tighten up. It is hard for us cause we are use to spending freely.

    We don't fight badly or anything, but I get annoyed with having to do the budget and then we start to bicker.

    He told me on Sunday that I will more than likely have to go back to work after having a baby, since money is tight right now. It made me super sad. I mean seriously, what kind of age do we live in when someone makes high six figures and it is still not enough.

    #12 A10CalGal

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      Posted 11 June 2008 - 01:42 PM

      Interesting topic Alyssa! It was a toss up for me, I would have chosen 2 options if possible. In reality we really don't "fight" or argue. More like I get stressed out or he gets stressed out & then we have to talk about it.

      I get stressed out about his kids.

      He gets stressed out about sex.

      So, he tries to take care of the kid thing & if he can keep that at bay (and keep them out of our room), then I can take care of the sex thing!!

      #13 SunBride

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        Posted 11 June 2008 - 01:50 PM

        we still fight over chores after 5.5 years together and 4 years of living together! My husband grew up not having to do anything aruond the house - he would leave milk out on the counter and his mom would put it away without saying a word. It's been really hard to get him to contribute to cleaning without me nagging at him to do it - he never thinks of doing it on his own. I don't mind asking once but I do mind when I'm told "later" or "after this show" and a couple days later it's still not done.

        Anyways, it's slowly getting better. He is getting used to teh idea of having regular chores to do (clean up after supper, mow the lawn, vacuum). I still do way more than he does but his contributions help a lot. It's not so much the uneven workload we fight about, but the fact that I have to nag him to get his part done.

        #14 lucy106

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          Posted 11 June 2008 - 02:05 PM

          We dont fight a lot but we get pissy about lack of time together I guess its just more of a frustration then anything.

          #15 Alyssa

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            Posted 11 June 2008 - 02:07 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by SunBride
            we still fight over chores after 5.5 years together and 4 years of living together! My husband grew up not having to do anything aruond the house - he would leave milk out on the counter and his mom would put it away without saying a word. It's been really hard to get him to contribute to cleaning without me nagging at him to do it - he never thinks of doing it on his own. I don't mind asking once but I do mind when I'm told "later" or "after this show" and a couple days later it's still not done.

            Anyways, it's slowly getting better. He is getting used to teh idea of having regular chores to do (clean up after supper, mow the lawn, vacuum). I still do way more than he does but his contributions help a lot. It's not so much the uneven workload we fight about, but the fact that I have to nag him to get his part done.
            SunBride,

            try this for the next week. keep a list on the fridge and EVERY time YOU do a chore right it down, ask your FI to do the same. review it at the end of the week and i bet he takes a lot more responsibility (unless of course he wants you to be like his mom).

            #16 DreaW

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              Posted 11 June 2008 - 02:12 PM

              Ok I have to say we fight a lot about: Money, Household stuff, Not enough time together, and Family.
              As of lately it's been about household stuff and family.....but we fight about these four things all the time.

              #17 TammyB

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                Posted 11 June 2008 - 02:21 PM

                Family is my vote... Anyone that has been around the forum long enough knows that my DH has a great heart and keeps inviting family to live with us (we have lived in our home for about 2 1/2 years and 3 family members have lived with us during that time, oh and no shorter then 3 months stay) The only time DH and I really fight is when family is staying with us. Other then that we don't really fight.

                #18 FYB87

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                  Posted 11 June 2008 - 02:34 PM

                  Hmm...we don't actually fight about anything. However, we also don't live with one another yet so that is definitely a concern of mine! I do get frustrated some times because he has a lot on his plate right now and doesn't always have time for me. But, I don't bring it up because I am very proud of him and I know it's only going to be like that for now and not always!

                  #19 beachbride08

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                    Posted 11 June 2008 - 02:57 PM

                    Alyssa, you always have the most interesting polls. My FI and I don't fight that much, but when we do it is usually about him not helping around the house. I am a neat freak and he is the complete opposite. I have grown to be a little more relaxed about the cleaning since living with him, but I still like things neat. I will let things slide for a while and just pick up his stuff and put it away, but I can only it in so much before I explode. I have to beg him to help me do things around the apartment and then when I ask he doesn't help or it takes him 3 days to do something. It is so annoying. On the other hand he gets mad at me because I always leave the lights on when I leave a room, but I only do it if I know I am going back in that room in a few minutes. It drives him crazy, but I figure that is what he gets for not helping me clean more.
                    Michelle

                    #20 Kryztan

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                      Posted 11 June 2008 - 03:02 PM

                      We really dont fight....we usually understand each other and then get over it. However we both get mad at his family a bit. My fam is close within 10 mins. His is 6 hours away. They never call to see how were doing or their only baby granddaughter. They only call when they need something. Also sibs of his cause stress for the wedding. they are groomsmen but yet they have not paid for their vacation payment due in one week! and waited till last week to even get passports!!!!!!Aaahhh we just both complain about it I guess!




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