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Alyssa

What is the biggest source of conflict in your relationship?

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smile78.gif I just got off the phone with one of my BF's and she was yapping about her husband - she and her DH always seem to be fighting over the same issues, over and over and over again. Honestly, i am kind of sick of it, i want to be there for her but come on, how many disagreements can you have about the same topic WTF?

 

As for my FI and I, our biggest source of conflict is over cleaning the house. We both HATE cleaning but i like the house to be spotless and very neat. i am used to having a cleaning company but we cut back on that expense b/c of the wedding - i can't wait until September to bring them back LOL! smile72.gif

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For us, it is hard because with FI being a firefighter, our schedules are very different. I work M-F and he obviously doesn't. So there are times when I come home from a long day of work and he is ready to head out and do something. It is hard because I am in the middle of my work week and sometimes it is his Saturday night! We have gotten a lot better though, and he is understanding of me wanting to stay home and relax. I have become understanding of his wanting to go out...but it is still a difficulty we are faced with.

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MONEY.

 

He makes a good living but doesn't want to support me. He says that if something happens to him or we divorce, he wants to know I can take care of myself. He says he doesn't like being depended upon. Right now, I'm not financially stable and only work 3 real days a week. Our fights usually happen on Wednesdays or Thursdays bc those are the days I'm off and it burns him up knowing I'm home. I've been applying to 2-3 jobs a day but no one is calling. I told him this situation is temporary but he's a bitch about it. I used to make good money when we first started dating so this is a big change for the both of us.. ughhh.

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i picked other because we don't fight about the same thing over & over. it's usually that one of us got snippy with the other & the fight is about being polite to each other. Maybe any of those hot topics could trigger the snippiness.

 

I'm a total mess & I'm sure he doesn't like it, but we don't fight about it all the time. I try to clean when he asks me too, but I enjoy living in clutter. it's how I function. We just keep seperate spaces.

 

We fought about money when we first started dating, but we've resolved those differences & I think we have a really healthy money relationship. That was so important to me because money was the main thing that drove my parents apart.

 

So we don't see eye to eye on many things but I feel like over 4 yers of living together our communication has gotten better.

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I say household stuff, cuz we are two adults who have once lived on our own, now living in a small apartment. So it is never neat. Things being put away, means piled neatly against the wall or on the counter or whereever. That bugs that shit out of me. I am not a clean freak, but I need order, and it drives me crazy. He doesn't care one bit and would live in his piles for as long as I let him.

 

But if Matt were taking this poll, he would probably say sex. Cuz it is just never enough for him. (Except when we were in JA and I was a horny toad and he wasn't!)

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money money money.

 

We don't fight about other stuff much and if it's something else, then usually money ends up coming up. LOL

 

We just have different opinions of how our money should be spent- i'm conservative and he's a bit more free spirited with the money so we sometimes clash heads. We knew this before the "I Do's" so we aren't shocked.

 

It's not something we can't work through though. :)

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LC_Rachel View Post
money money money.

We don't fight about other stuff much and if it's something else, then usually money ends up coming up. LOL

We just have different opinions of how our money should be spent- i'm conservative and he's a bit more free spirited with the money so we sometimes clash heads. We knew this before the "I Do's" so we aren't shocked.

It's not something we can't work through though. :)
that was our struggle. i losened up a little & he tightned up. We are both really happy with the change. I was still living in broke undergrad mode. So to try to get me to relax he was splurging on me. It was stressful! We are much better at being a team now. I'm excited to see how our money sharing strategy goes. I love to invest & save. When I see a nice return or reach a savings goal I want to come home & share it with mike. But, I know it will feel much better when it's our money and we can reach these goals together.

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Household stuff!!! I am a neat freak and he is definitely not. I am constantly bitching at him to pick up after himself, but it doesn't seem to sink in. After 6 years of yelling at him, I guess I should just suck it up and realize that it's not going to happen, but I still have hope. To be honest, since we've been home from our wedding, he has gotten a little better and even pointed out that I hadn't put my clothes away that were sitting in a laundry basket for weeks (laundry that he did!).

 

We used to constantly argue about his work schedule. He was a consultant and was always flying to see clients. He was away at least half of every month and it really got to me being home alone so much. He got me a dog for Christmas a few years ago, which made it better to have some company. Finally he got a new job with very minimal travel almost 3 years ago and things became so much between us.

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We are not big into fighting or getting into tifts... but it is always the house stuff and who cleaned what war. I know we both are clutter people in a sense because I have what I like and he has what he likes and we have yet to clean out that stuff to make it completely our stuff. We have been in our own home we bought 2 years ago .. and just something needs to give in our piles.

 

Funny thing is I go on full day tangents about cleaning .. get it done and then next thing I know it is not our 5 yr olds mess... but his... and then I go nuts and it's all over the socks being left all over the house or jackets draped over every chair we have instead of being put away. LOL... I'm happy with clutter just not random stuff where ever.

 

Is it really this badhuh.gif

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Household stuff!!! I am a neat freak and he is definitely not. I am constantly bitching at him to pick up after himself' date=' but it doesn't seem to sink in. After 6 years of yelling at him, I guess I should just suck it up and realize that it's not going to happen, but I still have hope. To be honest, since we've been home from our wedding, he has gotten a little better and even pointed out that I hadn't put my clothes away that were sitting in a laundry basket for weeks (laundry that he did!).[/QUOTE']

 

This is just too funny because mine is the same... he does it but it sits...

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