21 replies to this topic

[rodent]

Too broke to be your maid of honor - CNN.com

This was posted on the knot today. I thought this was interesting because you don't see as much stuff from the perspective of a bridesmaid. After being a BM so many times I've learned to say no to things early instead of getting resentful of all the demands. I know my friends intentions were good, but they were just unaware of how quickly everything will add up in terms of money & vacation days.

[ErinB]

That is so true! Ive probably spent at least $1000 for every wedding I've been in. That is a big reason we kept our bridal party small and I have "honorary bridesmaids" who have helped me with my DIY projects here. Turthfully, they have been more helpful than my "real" bridesmaids.

[Yari]

Yup, I've spent a ton of dough being a BM.

I feel like I've been very cautious about the amount of everything I have them buy.

[rodent]

I've never spent near $1000. Probably because I'm pretty upfront about how much I'm willing to spend.

[KellyandMatt08]

Matt and I were just asked to be in our friends' wedding next October. So things should add up quickly between the 2 of us.

[Maura]

ive never spent less than $800 to be in a wedding (that was the cheapest i ever spent, the most recent one i was in the bride was a total effing bridezilla and i spent just over $1200 to accomodate her). morgan i think this is a great article, thanks for posting. i think because i have always spent so much to be in someone else's wedding, i was very careful about what i asked my girls to spend. only one of my BMs is family - FI's sister. the other 2 are my best friends from college. i picked an inexpensive dress ($165 with tax) and let them pick their own shoes. they all wanted to get their hair done, so i found a really good deal for an outcall service and booked it for everyone. they wanted to do their own makeup, and then i bought them earrings as a gift. the only other thing they have to pay for is their airfare & hotel which they booked long ago before the prices went up. i just couldnt ask people to spend $1200 for all kinds of random shit, showers and parties and all that junk because thats not me. i dont even want a bachelorette paty -- we will just do an impromptu girls night out in cabo because everyone is getting there by thursday at the latest.

[Dbld78]

I spent about that if not more for my sister's wedding.... And was completely happy too! She's my sister and although she is a pain my ass, it was her wedding and I wanted her to have a beautiful shower and beautiful gift because I knew she would appreciate it. And will do the same for my friend's wedding that's a month before mine that I'm a BM in too. Simply because I know she'll appreciate it. If someone were to ask me to be in there wedding and I really couldn't afford it, I would decline.

[Kryztan]

It is very expensive. I have been in six weddings and 2 more still to come with in the next year. I dont think I would have a problem if it were someone like my sister, but they have all been for friends which I love too:). I cant say that I have spent 1000.00 dollas but then again I have never added them up! I kept how annoying it can be spending all this money for someone elses wedding in mind. I bought my bm dresses, shoes, jewelry and nice thank you gifts. I figured it was the least I could do since they are spending so much just to come....
Anyway I totally get the bm frustrations.

[akbeach]

I have been in so many weddings, the latest cost $800 including hotel, etc. It really adds up. With a DW, your close friends would probably go anyway if you are having more than 25 people so does that count as an expense? Affordable dresses and having them pick their own shoes helps the BMs out.

[frazali]

Thanks so much for posting the link - I came across it and then didn't get a chance to read it.

As we all see from all of the bridezilla examples out there, many brides can be awfully demanding. I think that the more conscientious bride you are in terms of your party, obviously the better.

I think that it benefits all brides to remind themselves that yes, it is your day, but there are other folks involved, and not to expect them to go above and beyond for you.