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'We went to their wedding' question...


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#1 dmarie17

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    Posted 02 March 2008 - 03:26 PM

    I'm not sure what to do about this one...
    My FI attended 2 weddings in the past year. Both of them for my 2nd cousins. We are now working on finalizing our invitation list and are unsure if we should include them or not. They are awesome and I would love for both of them to attend with their new hubbies, but if I invite them, it kind of opens a door. My family is HUGE and I have about 30 other 2nd cousins, plus parents! I really don't want to have to invite everyone! Where does the line get drawn? And if I don't invite the two couples, I'm afraid they be offended. They talked to my FI and I a lot at their weddings about ours and how exciting a DW is and if I need any help in planning to let them know, etc, etc...
    What does everyone think? Also, if it makes a difference, I'm not really close with either of them... I see them probably once or twice a year at family functions.

    #2 MissyR

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      Posted 02 March 2008 - 03:35 PM

      That's a tough call. Would you feel comfortable just inviting them and not inviting all your other 2nd cousins? We have smaller families and aren't even close with some of our first cousins so - FI only invited the cousins that he has a relationship with. I would say invite the two you would want there and leave it at that... (of course that's the perfect world answer!)

      #3 Kat81

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        Posted 02 March 2008 - 03:38 PM

        With as expensive as the reception may get.. if you decided to have one... only invite the people you want there... Don't feel pressured to invite anyone

        #4 nylalany

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          Posted 02 March 2008 - 04:11 PM

          we ended up inviting all our 2nd cousins - b/c we are close with some (they are like 1st cousins) and you can't invite some and not all i think - word gets around. besides, everyone always invites us to theirs. anyway, it ends up being a surprise who comes - sure we got some 2nd cousins who are coming and we're not close, but mostly the ones we are close to are coming (and one of my 1st cousins is not).

          #5 ACDCDCAC

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          Posted 02 March 2008 - 04:54 PM

          I would invite them and if another family member asks you can say, "We wanted to keep it as small as we could and we attended their weddings so we thought it would be appropro."

          #6 Agape Gems

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            Posted 02 March 2008 - 04:57 PM

            I think a DW is the perfect scape-goat for not inviting the entire world. I did not let our parents make their own invite list, which was a bit of an issue, but I just told people that we are having a very small affair with only our closest family and friends.

            Even at an all inclusive resort the per-person stuff starts adding up fast. I say its your day and you are only obligated to make it perfect for you and FI!
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            #7 Sandra E.

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              Posted 02 March 2008 - 05:35 PM

              Wow! This is a tough one. You probably should invite them and if anyone else says anything about it, just say you were having a small wedding.

              #8 tlomlad

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                Posted 02 March 2008 - 06:29 PM

                its your day if you want them invite them you cant worry about everyone else!

                #9 gkashmira

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                  Posted 02 March 2008 - 06:40 PM

                  I guess if it was me i would invite them and the rest and hope/assume the others wont' come.

                  What do your parents think? They might be a good resource for understanding how to handle this situation..
                  Kashmira & Dan
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                  #10 CourtneyV

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                    Posted 02 March 2008 - 06:50 PM

                    A good rule of thumb I tried to follow was only inviting the people i really wanted there. If I'm up there, looking back at everyone... who do I really want to see? I invited people who made a big difference in my life and helped me shape who I am today. If they were second cousins that I saw only at large family functions, sorry they didn't get invited. Then again, I love the fact that our wedding will only have about 20 or so people in attendance.
                    Happily Married since May 9, 2008
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