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ErinB

Confessions

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...I went through a very serious bout from mid September until November I call it my coma' date=' I couldn't leave my house....I was almost aggroaphobic. I had no feelings, I just wanted to sleep all day and night. You could have told me that my family was dead and I wouldn't have cried.....it was almost like I was emotional dead.QUOTE']

 

WOW, does this sound familiar -- 9 years ago I spent about a year or year and a half like this -- the ONLY thing I DID do was shower for work, wash my clothes for work, and actually go to work. Other than that, it was not pretty.

 

Paxil made me feel like my hair was standing on end -- same "buggy" feeling as when I take an antihistimine -- threw them away and told my doctor NEVER give me anything like that again ...I had a constant pain in my neck, left shoulder, and down my back for about 2 years -- no kidding. Still get it to this day when I get really stressed. It took about 2 1/2 years or so to finally find something that would take that pain away. I took myself off the meds 2 years ago this June. I'm not sure what's worse -- gaining 22 pounds from the meds and being w/out the pain that some days made my cry...or being off the meds and with NO effort on my part, shedding the weight that made me feel like I was going to POP, but yet just not feeling so good a lot of the time.

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My confession for the day... I cannot stop spending money. This probably wouldn't be a big deal if I had money to spend, but that is not the case!

 

I can control myslef with big things, but we eat out all the time, I have a $5 a day starbucks habit, and I cannot walk in the doors of target without spending a minimum of $50!

 

I'm going to start spending more money on a personal trainer to boot-camp my ass into shape before the wedding!

 

I guess I just don't know where the money and time go...

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Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108 View Post
My confession for the day... I cannot stop spending money. This probably wouldn't be a big deal if I had money to spend, but that is not the case!

I can control myslef with big things, but we eat out all the time, I have a $5 a day starbucks habit, and I cannot walk in the doors of target without spending a minimum of $50!

I'm going to start spending more money on a personal trainer to boot-camp my ass into shape before the wedding!

I guess I just don't know where the money and time go...
OMG Erin, I am soooo with you on this! I have your exact same habit. I think maybe I sent you the germs with your bunny gift, hehe wink.gif Between Starbucks and Target, I should work part-time for both to save myself some $!

And the gym is a great solution! After a long day at work, Doug and I meet at home a drive to the gym, work out, go home and eat and go to bed. We don't have any time left over for shopping! Well, 3 days of the week, anyways wink.gif

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Originally Posted by Christa View Post
Melissa, I know you posted this over a week ago but I just wanted to say you are not alone. I shared with you some time ago that I had been on Zoloft for several years for anxiety & depression. When I discovered I had other things going on (hypothyroid & hormonal imbalances) I came to learn that the anxiety/depression may have been part of that.

Blah, blah, blah...anyway, point is, I weaned off the Zoloft at the end of last year, maybe November? Then winter hit. A winter like I've never experienced right? Moving from California to Washington introduced me to a whole new winter experience. I didn't think anything of it. Well now I look back on the last 3 or 4 months and reflect on how I've been feeling, how my husband has been reacting to me, etc.....I just read your post & it made me realize - hey, maybe some of that stuff snuck back in? Maybe that's why things have been so hard? Hmmmm....

I guess it's just an ongoing battle. I share your pain & concerns.
It's interesting that you think hypothyrodism might have been a factor in your anxiety & depression - my mom just found out she has hypothyrodism and it apparently runs in our family and she keeps telling me that I should go get tested for it. Good to know! Thanks :)

And thanks to everyone else for making me feel like I'm not alone! Love you girls!

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Originally Posted by MelissaH View Post
It's interesting that you think hypothyrodism might have been a factor in your anxiety & depression - my mom just found out she has hypothyrodism and it apparently runs in our family and she keeps telling me that I should go get tested for it. Good to know! Thanks :)

And thanks to everyone else for making me feel like I'm not alone! Love you girls!
i dont want to alarm you, but you should really really get your thyroid checked. my mom has been acting crazy for a number of years, but it all started around the same time that her thyroid was totally out of whack. i have to have mine checked every 2 years. and i sure as hell dont wanna end up batshit crazy like my mom.

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i confess that i just found this thread!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MelissaH View Post
And thanks to everyone else for making me feel like I'm not alone! Love you girls!
definitely not alone! i've had an ongoing battle with depression and was on zoloft for about 4 yrs...until about 3 weeks ago...i realized that my depression and paranoia could possibly stem from my birth control pills ... so i went off of both. i'm finally at a good place in life- i like my job, love dh, etc.

it's getting nicer here (weather-wise), so i think i'll be ok until next winter. the worst part of the year is february, but now i have a wedding anniversary to look forward to.

 

AND NOW MY SEX DRIVE IS BACK! i can't get enough blush2.gif

 

i also secretly hope that i get preggers...tho i drink enough wine to drown 8 children, let alone a fetus.

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Jamaicabride I have to wonder if I know you from another forum...

 

and whoever said they were embarrassed to have met their FI online- don't be! I have a sneaking suspicion I know which game it is because my FI is totally and completely addicted, and has actually had people from across the US come and stay here to geek out for the weekend! But I don't really care, because I'm happily addicted to my own computer stuff... and just now to find BDW I've added a new addictive site to my list!

 

My confession:

My sister & best friend aren't coming to my wedding and I've put on a brave and understanding face but I am secretly a little upset about it. I know it's expensive and I it is slightly selfish to expect anyone to come, but I will have shelled out close to 1k to be in my best friend's wedding this summer with everything added up.

 

I'm secretly really scared that me or FI are infertile. I have no reason to believe this, it's just way up there in my fears.

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My confession is that I'm scared I will never get a job. Not saying that not working is a blast but I've been a sub for almost a good 3 years now and can't find a perm. job in the teaching field. I'm planning to take some classes at the community college this summer to go into nursing.....but what do I do for work? I didn't work yesterday nor I'm I working today because they haven't called me to come in. So I'm thinking about going to the mall which is right next to me and get a part time job at one of the stores, I'm thinking Coach or Kenneth Cole.....

Not working sucks, I can't really get a sec. job because I have no experience, but I'm sorry how hard is it to be a sec.? (sorry to those of you who are)

Agggggggh. Just so frustrated.

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I confess that recently I have taken to saying hurtful things to FI when we fight. The fights have gotten ugly in the past 3 monts. Starts off as somehting VERY stupid, FI gets this attitude i hate, and then i spit out really mean things. We never fought like this before. Not sure what exactly it is, but i hope that it was the move, the new house, and the job stress, and that things will go back to normal.

 

I also confess that i want to see someone about this. i'm freaked out that all of our fights will turn out like this and we won't make it.

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#1:

 

#2: I would like to strangly my friends (high school ones). Seriously grow up already! Stop wasting your life away at the bars. Get a real job, learn to budget, get a life and start thinking of someone other than yourself for once.

 

#3: I am absolutely terrified to start rotations. Despite my overwhelming excitement to be out of the classroom... I'm not sure if I'm quite ready. I sometimes feel like I have learned nothing and worry I am going to fail in this profession.

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