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Not my guests, what to do?

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9 replies to this topic

#1 ErinB


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    Posted 31 January 2008 - 04:24 PM

    OK, so as of right now we have 6 guests coming who were not invited by us. We chose to book all of the travel with a group contract. The spaces weren't filling up as quickly as we hoped so we opened the trip up to friends and family of our friends and family to sell seats. Our goal was to not get stuck having to pay for the spots that weren't purchased.

    My question is what to do with these people? I've never met them, but they are close to my aunt and uncle. Do I invite them to the wedding? Do I make them a Welcome Bag?

    We're all going to be on the same flights, in the same section of the resort, etc. so I don't want anyone to feel left out, but I also don't want them to feel any obligation towards us. If I make them Welcome Bags, that will be about another $100, plus the cost of our private reception, cake, etc. The little things will add up! But then again, they are saving us about $1000 per person by filling a spot...

    Yes, I know I over analyze!

    #2 Gretchen

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      Posted 31 January 2008 - 04:28 PM

      Maybe you could do something in between? You could give them some of the info that your guests get and a note that says you are glad they joined in on the trip and they are welcome to attend __________ , _____, and _______ if they so choose.
      Gretchen "GiGi"

      #3 Maura


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      Posted 31 January 2008 - 04:29 PM

      meh i dunno... i dont think you have to invite them to the wedding if you dont really know them.... theyre getting a good vacation deal.... you didnt have to pay an attrition fee... everybody seems a winner here. if you can accomodate them for your reception it would be a nice thing to do. but if you cant (spacewise or financially) i dont think you are obligated to invite them.

      #4 rodent


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        Posted 31 January 2008 - 04:34 PM

        they might not want to go to the wedding & reception. If you don't know you at all, they are probably not interested in spending vacation time at the wedding. I would talk to your aunt & uncle & see what they think. Approach it like you don't want to make them feel obligated to attend these events. It's a tricky situation, but if you talk to them now you can probably find a good solution & the right balance of including them & letting them do their own thing.

        #5 sohappy

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          Posted 31 January 2008 - 04:50 PM

          I agree with Morgan you should talk to your aunt and uncle first. Maybe they just wanted to hang out with your aunt/uncle after the wedding day and hadn't planned on attending.

          I wouldn't spend another $100 on OOT bags if out of your budget. If they are planning on attending. I would let your aunt share their invitation and other things with them. They are your aunt's guests not yours.

          Long story short: I had a "maybe guest" who showed up extra at my good friend's wedding so I gave a bigger "monetary gift" to cover any inconvenience.

          #6 IrieBride08

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            Posted 31 January 2008 - 06:38 PM

            I agree that you should talk to your aunt & uncle and go from there.

            I'm also doing a group contract and have guests who are bringing a guest (since the rooms are double occupancy.) I don't know all of these people, but I'm treating them as wedding guests anyway, since they are guests of my family and friends. You have to do what's economical for you though!

            #7 KarmaB

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              Posted 31 January 2008 - 07:47 PM

              I had a similar situation happen. My mom (who is single) was really stressing about the cost's of the trip. She told her friend about the wedding, then her friend offered to come with her and share the cost's of a room. So now her AND her daughter are both coming. My reception dinner is $150 PP! But my mom felt that she was doing her a big favor, so she asked me to send her an invite and formally invite her to the wedding. So I agree with the other posters. You should talk to your Aunt and Uncle and see if they're friends would be interested in going to the wedding at all, then go from there.

              #8 Debs

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                Posted 31 January 2008 - 08:28 PM

                IMO, I would invite them to the reception (for your aunt and uncle's sake), but I wouldn't put in the extra $$ for OOT bags or whatever.

                Just what I would do in that situation...

                #9 gkashmira

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                  Posted 31 January 2008 - 08:31 PM

                  Definitely talk to your aunt and uncle first. Then if they'd like to come I'd invite them and skip the welcome bags or do a way scaled down version.
                  Kashmira & Dan
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                  Our mini-video: http://www.bajavideo...m/Kash_Dan.html
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                  #10 MSMANDEEE

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                    Posted 09 February 2008 - 11:14 PM

                    You have to have your aunt & uncle talk to them, they might not want to go anyway, if they dont even know you guys. Its nice that you want to make them feel welcomed! They probably would feel awkward & out of place not knowing you anyway, so they just might let you off the hook! If they do want to come, than just invite them to the reception and maybe youll make some new friends! 6 isnt a huge budget breaker, luckily!

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