Sorry to hear that you are having these issue.
Focus on what's important to you...
Your wedding and the planning process is time for you to be happy and enjoy and if your "friends" can't share this joy with you without bitching and being inconsiderate then you don't need them by your side on such a wonderful day.
I've been a bridesmaid 4 times and boi I have to tell you that is tuff, especially when you are in a different city. All the expenses that are associatted with it... however, I loved it and I was so honored that they wanted me to be part of their day...
With that said I'll have to admit that we aren't having bridemaids. My FI is having a bestman and I'm not sure if I'll have a MOH... I have friends, but my wedding is so significant to me... that I want to make sure that whoever, is part of it, is someone that truly is someone that honors me and my FI, as much as I honor them. I know that it's probably going to look weird to have a bestman, but not a MOH, but I really don't care... I'm going to have my brother walk me down the aisle and I'll probably just tell him to stand next to me. He'll be my MOH :0)