Hey -
FWIW, I shoot about 40 weddings a year and won't accept a shot list. Instead, I show my clients 10 or so complete weddings - 500+ pics each, before they book me.
I demonstrate consistency, and lots of great candid shots.
As soon as people start wanting shot lists, and acting, the photos aren't as real, and they look fake.
I much prefer to put couples into situations where they can create their own moments.
As for formals, I will take a short list, but realize that I do this every weekend, and I know to get the wedding party combos, family combos, and all the regular stuff. The list is only so a particular family member won't get left out.
I know a ton of planning goes into making your day perfect, and if you just let your pro photographer know what is important to you, they will most likely get great pics of you!
E