Pisces

Oh my gosh, I am SO SORRY! You are my hero for your attitude though- I hope things aren't too stressful for the next few months. Are you going to try to keep your date in Sept somewhere else in Hawaii? Please let us know if there's anything we can do.

And what is with all the singing!? What always shocks me about this show is how it seems everything revolves around alcohol and drinking events. They always have a drink in their hands. Honestly, who can drink that much constantly? I'm also usually amazed that all the women seem to always end up having feelings for the bachelor, no matter what he's like. I remember one season where one of the girls decided to leave and I thought she was the most real, because she actually knew she didn't like him from the get-go. It just seems so unrealistic to me. I'm not really a fan of this guy (Matt)- he's okay looking, but he seems to kind of know it about himself, which I find really unattractive. Confidence is attractive, but he is more than confident it seems. Actually, I'm rarely attracted to the bachelors anyhow because I'm not interested in guys who would actually want to be in that type of situation. But I always enjoy the show for the drama!

Thank you for all the responses. I should say that I actually enjoy planning and hosting parties, so aside from the costs, I actually loved throwing the baby shower I just threw, and I'm excited about throwing my best friend's bridal shower. Like someone said, I am really happy for these people and it is a real pleasure for me to shower them. I guess it's the other guests I am thinking of, because I have been one of those. And I have been to many showers where it was obvious that the couple had just registered for upgrades on everything. In those cases I really kind of resented going because it felt like a gift grab. By no means do I mind buying gifts for people who need them (which is maybe why I really enjoy baby showers more), but there are very few couples in my circle of friends who are actually in this position, myself included. I think I will feel like I missed out if I don't have a shower, but I also don't think I really can. Realistically, we aren't inviting many people to the DW and we're not having an AHR. Most of my extended family is way too far away to attend. I guess I'll say yes if someone offers, but I kind of think that won't happen. We'll see. Thanks for all your perspective though. It's nice to know I'm not the only one with these conflicting feelings

Welcome to the forum! I am new and already addicted!

Here is my question, and I seriously hope I don't offend anyone. I really don't like bridal showers, as I feel like they are a gift grab, and in this day and age make little sense when most couples I know have lived and established themselves long before they marry. I have always kind of resented going to them and having to buy a gift for the bride. Sure I'm happy for them, but I don't get why they deserve gift after gift... I always said to Colin that I don't want a shower because of this. I kind of thought that having a DW and no bridal party would help keep this from happening... like no one would assume the job of throwing one. But now I am getting sort of embarrassed that I might want one... mostly because I'm throwing another one this summer for my bf, just finished throwing a baby shower for my SIL and may have to do another for my other SIL. I guess I sort of feel like they owe me a bit of payback! Even though I hate that idea. I also feel guilty even thinking I deserve one because they are spending way more coming to my wedding than all of their gifts on weddings, showers and babies... or maybe the same. I don't know... I go really back and forth on this. I don't even know who would be invited to the shower because I thought traditionally it was all the women who came to the wedding, but most of it is just my family and very few (okay no) friends. so for those of you having showers or who have had them, who threw them? did you invite people who didn't come/weren't invited to the wedding?

We're not having one either. A few people have asked about it, but I've sort of brushed it off with a "we'll see" kind of attitude. Honestly, I think once the wedding is over they will kind of forget. My sister is also getting married in May '09 at home (doing the traditional wedding) so our big family wedding will be then and people can get that out of their system then! haha But seriously, we did pick DW because we wanted small & intimate, so having an AHR would completely defeat the point, and not be us AT ALL.

that place looks incredible! I cannot wait to see your pics when you get back!

DougsGirl July 15, 2008 Hanalei Bay, Kauai, HI Jtds2713 August 7, 2008 Oahu, HI Alyssa September 5th, 2008 Molokai, HI CTHawaii14 September 12, 2008 Oahu, HI Sherry October 4, 2008 Wailea, Maui, HI Chiquita November 5th, 2008 Maui, HI Pisces (Jenn) December 30, 2008 Wailea, Maui, HI (great idea!)

Thanks! Those are all perfect ideas!! I really appreciate it:)

Wow- all such great ideas! I'm hosting my best friend's bridal shower in June and this has totally helped me!! She will LOVE having all the TY notes addressed for her!

Love them! Thanks for sharing. I'm still gathering ideas for the favours, but these have made the list!

I love the OOT bag idea, but I'm a little concerned that people will already come equipped with everything in them. I know my family (and FI's) and there's no way they wouldn't show up with a beach towel, sunscreen, hats, etc... all the essentials. I want to have something for everyone when they arrive, I'm just worried that these will be a waste of money to put together. I hope that doesn't offend anyone. Basically I am looking for OOT bag ideas that may be a little different... what might be nice for guests to have upon arrival? I definitely think a mixed CD is a great idea, but I'm stuck on others.

I love the uniqueness of them all! Thanks for sharing everyone. I still have quite a while to think about these, but the wheels are turning!

Welcome Maui bride!

I'm very excited to join this group. Sounds like a lot of fun! It's definitely something I never would have thought of, but it adds a real unique touch to the DW.

My WC is recommending one as well, but my friend used her in January and I saw pics that I was happy with. I'll see if I can get her name for you:)

Oh my gosh! I absolutely LOVE them! This is a new idea I've never seen, and we were just looking at invitations last night but these are definitely my top choice now! Thank you for posting all your details! I have about 20-25 to make. How long do you think each one took? My step sister has an invitation business and I was going to have her do the invites, and she may be able to do this with all your instructions. I want to keep costs at less than $5 per invite though.

Welcome to the boards! I am new myself and loving it here so far. I'm also another Maui bride! Come over to the Maui section and tell us your story!

Things have definitely changed in a really short period of time. While parents should definitely be more active, I always remember that I would sneak around behind my parents and do things I wasn't supposed to as well. I am sure many of these girls are not actually allowed to dress as they do, it's just that sex is everywhere now, and so much more available than it used to be. And by that, I just mean, girls have access to clothing we never did. Not only that, but as someone else mentioned, it's actually harder to find more modest clothing these days. The vast majority of teen clothing is made to looks sexy... I think the big thing is definitely being on top of this from a VERY young age. And not just telling 5 year olds that they can't have BRATS dolls, but actually having an ongoing conversation about WHY these dolls and other "role" models are so damaging to women and to our self esteems. I was just at an Easter dinner last night where a couple was encouraging their 4 year old to do a sexy dance.... I was seriously disturbed. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny.

My FI was really wanting a beach ceremony as well, but I was really concerned about onlookers. He said to me, "who would watch someone else's wedding?" (and he was serious). I said, "uh.. if there was a wedding going on on the beach I would!" We opted to do our wedding on a the Wailea golf course (which is attached to our reception site, the Seawatch) and I feel much more at peace. This also means that if it rains we will have a back up place (they provide a back up covered area in such a case). I really wanted privacy. My WC also said it was a really good idea because of the noise of the waves. I want everyone to be able to fully hear what's going on. But whatever you choose is all about your moment.

It's kind of cool to see that so many people who "waited" longer are doing the destination wedding. People have bugged us for years, and it just made us want to do it this way even more. Anyhow, were together 6 years and 2 months before engagement, by the time of the wedding it will be 71/2 years. There was never any doubt. We waited because I was in school and we wanted our finances in order to have the wedding of our dreams!

Both our parents are divorced.. and all have individually helped us out financially. I think we are going to go with "together with their parents" I worded the announcements with my parents names too close together and they had issues with it. I want to be respectful, but I think divorced parents also need to just suck it up a little. I would probably ask my parents what they wanted if you're not sure. I actually did ask them and they didn't know how I should word it, so we picked what I thought was respectful and they still had issue. You can't always win.

We haven't booked much else yet- our coordinator has already recommended a photographer, who is the same one my friend used. I get to see her pictures next week! This is her site Maui Wedding Photography by Kinga - Maui Photographers, Maui Photography, Maui Weddings We still have a while before we book anything else. I might look into Marriott for our wedding night. My brother will be staying with us in our condo, so we were thinking of jetting off to a honeymoon suite for the wedding night itself. So far we have opted out of a videographer. It's not something I think we would ever watch, and the price I was quoted was $450... not sure if you have anything better, but that seems really pricey to me. I would rather put that money towards my dancefloor/dj costs. I have a very camera-happy family, so I'm sure someone will be video-taping anyhow!

I should add, I have been to iPod weddings before, and some have been fantastic, while others have been really bad. It was totally because of the room & speaker set-up at each as to whether or not it worked. You have to be in the right room for the music to travel properly. At one wedding you could barely hear the music, and there was literally NO one except the few little kids on the dance floor the entire night. I'm sure it was a disappointment to the bride & groom.

We're paying $950.00 for three hours. My fiance thinks it's insane (which it kind of is) but we don't have any other music options, so it's either that or nothing. I'm not willing to have no music, so he had to give in! haha Anyhow, $150 per hour is a very good price IMO if it includes set-up and all the equipment.