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29 replies to this topic

#11 StephanieMN

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    Posted 08 January 2008 - 09:29 PM

    Ditto on being pissed...save surprises for birthdays!

    #12 Spazz

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      Posted 08 January 2008 - 09:52 PM

      Jenn, that really sucks. What does Sam think about this?
      Definitely don't worry about the OOT bags for them. As for the food/champagne, if you think they may show up, I guess you could tell your WC you may need more and see what she says.

      #13 Lorilou

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        Posted 08 January 2008 - 10:18 PM

        that's so not cool...don't they understand all the planning you've done for this. I hope they give you some good gifts for the headache!!

        #14 jamisoncollette

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          Posted 08 January 2008 - 11:18 PM

          Damn, that is unbelievable! ok, Emily Post gives you permission to screw the OOT bags and not be the gracious host to these wedding crashers (even future father in-law) Deep breathes, pretty smile-it's your day

          #15 Jenn

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            Posted 08 January 2008 - 11:19 PM

            Thanks for all the support ladies... I feel awful about being pissed about it since it is his family. That being said, I don't think I'll know for sure what their plans are until everyone either comes or doesn't. I know that sounds strange, but that's the way they are.

            We don't have a TA, and I know they know there are rooms because the resort keeps an updated availability list online. The resort told us today that noone else has booked as of yet, so for now, not going to stress. I'm definitely not going to bring stuff for OOT bags for them. That much I've decided. The food and stuff will be what it will be... if they show, hopefully the resort can accomodate. I love your thought process though Lauren!

            As for if they will give us good gifts, I won't hold my breath. I think if his dad shows he'll have a hero's attitude, which will piss us off... something along the lines of, "I don't know why you were stressed for the last 6 months over whether I was coming... I said I was going to come, and here I am! Aren't you guys the fools now..."

            People suck. Unfortunately this is my new family, and I've grown to really dislike them. Not for being unreliable and screwy, but mostly for making my FH feel like he isn't important to them. It wasn't a priority for them to save money to come, so now we're in this situation. Thanks for listening girls :)

            #16 NYJen

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              Posted 09 January 2008 - 11:44 AM

              Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. Like you really need this a week before your wedding. Do you want me to kick your FFIL's A$$ (I'm good at that.)

              I'm with Tami on this. I wouldn't un-invite them, but I would let them know that you had deadlines that have now past and there is no way you can accommodate them during the reception. You can tell them, "Maybe you can speak to the concierge at the hotel to see if they can order you a meal or pizza or something since you won't be able to eat at the reception."

              If anyone gives you a hard time about this, remind them that you did your work already when you gave them the travel information and deadline dates. And now, with a week to go, you have more important things to do and you really need to focus on your guests who RSVP'd on time and met all the deadlines. You shouldn't have to stop everything you're doing, interupt your schedule and figure out a way to get them on the guest list now. They're adults, too bad.

              #17 Sarah


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                Posted 09 January 2008 - 11:49 AM

                Oh Jenn I would be beyond pissed. People are so stupid sometimes. Don't stress (although I know it's impossible), let things just play out. Worst case scenario, they don't get OOT bags, they don't get cake, they don't get champage and you have to pay a little extra for stuff. I'm sure your FI will be happy his dad decided to show up in the end. You can worry about how to bring the a$$hole back to reality after your wedding.

                People are asses.

                #18 becks



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                  Posted 09 January 2008 - 11:56 AM

                  Serously, though... who does that?

                  You have to wonder what goes through people's minds sometimes.

                  And I'm sorry that your FILs are such a pain. And your FH deserves much better treatment than that... especially from his dad.

                  You'd do right by pouring him some water when everyone else is having champagne. Just have the staff tell him he wasn't included in the headcount, so no bubbly. Oh, and another thought - don't make him a place card (if you're using them), just write his name on a piece of the notepad by the hotel phone and go with that. He'll get it...

                  Happily married since 2008

                  Allurements by Rebecca - Destination Wedding Invitations and more

                  #19 boscobel

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                    Posted 09 January 2008 - 11:58 AM

                    Wow, Jenn that is ridic! I don't know what I would do in that situation, but I agree with Lauren's comments... Kill'em with snarky kindness.

                    #20 bre

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                      Posted 09 January 2008 - 12:12 PM

                      Jen- I have same wedding date and can't imagine if some of the people who said they would come and never booked or RSVP'ed just decided to show up (FI's sister, husband, and grown kids). It's just plain, old ignorance.

                      BUT here is what I would do (and clearly I'm not you, so it's just my two cents). Even though I would be pissed, I would totally play it cool. Don't let them see you sweat.

                      Yes, you have been planning for ages and have met deadlines and made payments based on a headcount of responsible adults who made arrangements like normal people. But it sounds like these guys truly have no idea about anything like that (like most guys I'm guessing!). So getting angry will only ruin your wedding- not their experience. In fact, they may enjoy seeing you get your feathers ruffled.

                      This day is what you make of it. [This is my wedding mantra]

                      So just let it go. If they show up, they show up. They won't care about OOT bags. And the resort will have enough food for a few extra people. They order food by weight and always have room for a little more (my FI is a chef and deals with stuff like this all the time). If not they can whip up a few meals with what they have in-house for the "crashers." They most likely won't drink champagne b/c they sound like idiots who wouldn't know good bubbly if it bit them in the behind. There is always left over cake.

                      It sounds like it's not a great relationship b/w your FI and his family which is the truly unfortunate thing here. Though being disrespectful to the two of you on your wedding is pretty awful too!

                      Just don't let them ruin your big day or these few days before when you can relish in the excitement and anticipation of marrying the man you love.

                      Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS- you're getting married!!
                      Bre & Pete
                      January 19, 2008
                      El Dorado Royale

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