To Invite Or Not To Invite?

[jeffandrobyn]

Do there is a girl within my group of friends who I am friendly with but not friends. If we are a group we hang out together but I never talk to her on my own or make plans with her myself. The rest of the group I do. The rest of the group (3 other girls) are invited. I keep going back and forth over what to do about this last girl. On one hand, FI and I are coming in under budget and could swing it if she said yes but on the other hand I don't have my own friendship with this girl and feel like that's weird to invite her.

 

To make matters worse, my bachelorette party is going to be a race and she will be there because she is part of my race team. How could I possibly have her at my bachelorette, but not the wedding? It's not like I can say 'you can't come to the race'

 

What do I do?? Lost!!

[AyeWatSoon]

I was in a similar situation so I decided to invite her. I felt it was more of an effort to stress about the awkwardness when we all hung out. It's definitely a sticky situation.

[calgarybride2015]

You say you don't have your own friendship with her, so in some ways I think that's your answer. But if you are feeling guilty or think it may make things awkward then send a friendly invite. What's more uncomfortable -- having her at your wedding or having her not be invited when the group meets?

I personally invited people to my stagette that weren't invited to my wedding. People understand that you don't invite 200 people to a DW you pick the closest friends and family. Most were close co-workers. No one was offended whatsoever., well except my one neighbour. But I moved on from that non sense lol

I try to remind myself... Who is special to me. Who do I personally make an effort to see and vice versa. Who do I personally want to share my week and special day with.

Good luck


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Edited October 30, 2014 by calgarybride2015

[Megg]

Do you generally like the girl? If so, I'd say invite her. Like everyone is saying at the end of the day it will be more awkward hanging out with the group with her not being invited. And who know, maybe you guys will become closer at the wedding! Could lead to a great friendship :-)

[jeffandrobyn]

Do you generally like the girl? If so, I'd say invite her. Like everyone is saying at the end of the day it will be more awkward hanging out with the group with her not being invited. And who know, maybe you guys will become closer at the wedding! Could lead to a great friendship :-)

 Yes, I like her. We're not intentionally not friends on our own, for one reason or another, it just hasn't happened. When we're all together we hang out, talk, etc. But at the same time, FI and I felt we had to draw the line somewhere. That said, we're well under budget right now and can swing the extra invite. 

Edited October 30, 2014 by jeffandrobyn

[Megg]

 Yes, I like her. We're not intentionally not friends on our own, for one reason or another, it just hasn't happened. When we're all together we hang out, talk, etc. But at the same time, FI and I felt we had to draw the line somewhere. That said, we're well under budget right now and can swing the extra invite. 

If you all have a good time in a group then I would think you's have a great time as a group at your Destination wedding! I'm having a super small wedding, less than 20 people, so I totally get not inviting people you're not super close with but if it's weighing on you, then I would send the invite. Better to be safe than sorry or have hurt feelings. 

[VegasBride121314]

Do there is a girl within my group of friends who I am friendly with but not friends. If we are a group we hang out together but I never talk to her on my own or make plans with her myself. The rest of the group I do. The rest of the group (3 other girls) are invited. I keep going back and forth over what to do about this last girl. On one hand, FI and I are coming in under budget and could swing it if she said yes but on the other hand I don't have my own friendship with this girl and feel like that's weird to invite her.

 

To make matters worse, my bachelorette party is going to be a race and she will be there because she is part of my race team. How could I possibly have her at my bachelorette, but not the wedding? It's not like I can say 'you can't come to the race'

 

What do I do?? Lost!!

At the end of the day is sounds like you need to invite her. At least extend the invitation, she probably will send regrets but at least you know when you're around her in the future, you won't be feeling sheepish because of a wedding invite. After reading your posts it really sounds like you do have a relationship with her; she's part of your race team, you run in the same circles and just think of how much fun the 5 of you will have discussing what happened at your wedding. I think you should invite her and cross it off your list and move forward with more pressing matters.  My goal is not to offend, just to offer insight. 

[tygrrlily]

I'd probably invite her to make things not awkward, especially if it'd stand out if she didn't get invited.  Is it likely she'll actually come?  We actually invited everyone to our wedding in Mexico because we knew most people would say no.  It covered the etiquette side of it though

I think we invited about 100-120 and we have about 44 people coming

[kmk2016]

Like others, I would invite her. Then she can decide whether she wants to spend the $$ to attend, as it's a big commitment to your "friendship" for her to attend as well! If she opts to come, she obviously thinks enough of you to want to be a part of your big day and would be touched by the invite! If you have the room and the budget... I say go for it!

[jeffandrobyn]

Thanks for the feedback! I added her to the list.