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cfinkenbine

When To Have Children?

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This topic is one that has recently been popular among my family, as well as my FI and I. We are getting married at the end of 2015 and at the time of our wedding I will be 31 and he will be 33. I have always said from the start that I dont want a honeymoon baby because I want some time to enjoy the honeymoon phase between the 2 of us. However, when asked when the right time will be, I almost want to say right away. I am so conflicted on this topic as well. Who knew that planning a wedding would bring up so many different topics, that are not necessarily wedding related at all. 

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@@MissJen3 I know it is really hard to decide and being type A personality I like to plan things out ahead of time! I know a lot of people say to wait…but considering I have wanted a child for several years now, I do not know how I could wait any longer!

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We are going to start trying right away, but we are a little older. I will be 34 and he will be 38. Neither of us already have kids. If I were in my mid-twenties I would wait a few years.

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I would rather wait. We've been together a while. Been living together almost as long (sort of moved in right away), and I think I would STILL wait. There's just SO many things I want to do first! He's a little bit older, so he's getting a little antsy...

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We definitely want a family, but for us right now it's completely in that future category. We've been together for over 5 years and are both a bit older - I'm 31 and he's 33 - but neither of us personally feels ready for a baby yet so we're planning on waiting a few years. We want to enjoy married life together, be selfish, travel, etc. 

 

Our friends are popping out babies like crazy right now though so we'll see if/how that affects us!  Right now we ooh and aww over the cute babies, but we're also really happy to hand them back and be sleeping full nights :)

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We'll have been together 5 years when we get married and we'll both in our late-28s! I would like to be preggers by 30. If I was getting married younger though, I would definitely wait. For us, being financially stable is our priority, and we just didn't have that years ago. We want me to be able to be a stay at home mom at least while the little one is...little! Best of luck to you both!

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I found an old thread on this…but it is a topic I have really been wondering about. How long after you get married are you planning on trying to have children? My FI and I will both be 23 when we get married, and will have been together for over 5 years. We have lived together for 3. I have been itching to have a baby for quite some time, and have agreed to wait until we are married. That being said the FI and I have both agreed we would like to start having children immediately after we get married. I have discussed this with my mom, and she seems very unsupportive. While she said it is OUR decision, she thinks we need to wait a few years after getting married before having kids. I want a large family, and I want to be a younger mom (I would 24 at the earliest and even this is older than what I would have liked!) What are everyone else's plans on starting a family?

 

We're almost exactly the same as far as our age and relationship length goes--I'm 23 and he'll be 24 by then, and we've been together for 5 years (but we've never lived together--we just bought our home and he's there on his own until we get home from our wedding trip).  Obviously, I don't have any tried-and-true wisdom to pass along like many of these brides, but for me I want to wait until I'm closer to 28 or 29.  I want to travel, get our new house situated, put some money in the bank, and ultimately not have to worry about another human being for a few years before I have kids!  If it were up to my FI, we'd start trying as soon as we were married, but I put my foot down on that one.  I told him maybeeeee 27 if he's lucky (and that we could get a dog)!  I guess I feel like you hear people say "I wish I would have waited" more than you hear "I wish I would have had them earlier," so to me, erring on the side of waiting a little with kids doesn't hurt.  But at the end of the day, you guys know what works for you! :)

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Just had to add in my thoughts here! I am much like you and wanted to have children young..and lots of them! Lol well, turns out, we just got married less than two months ago. I am 30 and the hubs is 35. We basically threw caution to the wind once we got to Mexico for our wedding thinking whatever will be will be(and that it would take a while to actually get pregnant)....well sure enough, I'm pregnant! We couldn't be any happier! We are both a little older, have done lots of travelling, lots of life living, lots of partying. We have bought our home, both have great jobs (I'm an RN and he is a journeyman electrician). I would say that what ever you feel is right for you and your husband is completely your decision. I don't think you are ever truly prepared for what this journey will bring, but as long as it's a mutual decision and you are both happy, I say go for it!!

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Just had to add in my thoughts here! I am much like you and wanted to have children young..and lots of them! Lol well, turns out, we just got married less than two months ago. I am 30 and the hubs is 35. We basically threw caution to the wind once we got to Mexico for our wedding thinking whatever will be will be(and that it would take a while to actually get pregnant)....well sure enough, I'm pregnant! We couldn't be any happier! We are both a little older, have done lots of travelling, lots of life living, lots of partying. We have bought our home, both have great jobs (I'm an RN and he is a journeyman electrician). I would say that what ever you feel is right for you and your husband is completely your decision. I don't think you are ever truly prepared for what this journey will bring, but as long as it's a mutual decision and you are both happy, I say go for it!!

Congratulations! The first is always the most special. They all are of course.... but there's just something about having your first! You'll have to keep news posted as you go. All the best!

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