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When To Have Children?

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#1 cfinkenbine

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Posted 20 October 2014 - 09:08 PM

I found an old thread on this…but it is a topic I have really been wondering about. How long after you get married are you planning on trying to have children? My FI and I will both be 23 when we get married, and will have been together for over 5 years. We have lived together for 3. I have been itching to have a baby for quite some time, and have agreed to wait until we are married. That being said the FI and I have both agreed we would like to start having children immediately after we get married. I have discussed this with my mom, and she seems very unsupportive. While she said it is OUR decision, she thinks we need to wait a few years after getting married before having kids. I want a large family, and I want to be a younger mom (I would 24 at the earliest and even this is older than what I would have liked!) What are everyone else's plans on starting a family?

#2 calgarybride2015

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Posted 20 October 2014 - 09:17 PM

We won't be having any children together as I have twins from a past relationship. They are close to 9 years old. Given our ages (34,40) and those of my kids we feel it's best to bask in them :) I also had some surgical work done that would be all for not having more kids!

That said I was 25 when mine were born and felt it was a perfect age.

Timing is all up to you. If you are ready once the wedding is over and in a good spot in your lives (financially secure, done school, etc) then I see no reason not to start right after your married. Not sure your moms reasonings??? Unless maybe she wants you to enjoy being a married couple and work on this new bond first?

School is much easier single than with kids - I did nursing school with newborn twins and it was tough!!! I'd recommend to get that all done first.

Good luck! And happy baby making when it's time hehe

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Edited by calgarybride2015, 20 October 2014 - 09:18 PM.


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#3 cfinkenbine

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Posted 20 October 2014 - 09:29 PM

My fiancé has an associates degree (automotive), and I have my LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse). I will go back to school at some point to get my RN or BSN, and I know that would be more challenging with children. But having children would outweigh the stressor to me. (I REALLLLLLY want kids!) Financially, we both work full time and are just saving for a house and our wedding. My mom's reasoning is that we should enjoy being a married couple because children change everything. "Yessss mom I know…" But FI and I have lived together for several years already! We already ACT like a married couple. I want some babies :)

#4 michellemanoogian

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Posted 20 October 2014 - 09:40 PM

i slightly agree with mom :(  enjoy being married, at least for a year , just to spend time together with the new meaning of the relationship. its something youll never get back. no need to rush ;)

#5 acw271011

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Posted 21 October 2014 - 08:27 AM

I agree with above, and your mom. Take some time together first. Enjoy being married, buying a house and putting all of your personal touches on it. Go out to dinner. Go to a movie. Do the things that newlyweds do. Travel even. Because yes kids do change things. I had both of my kids by the time I was 25. They're now 33 and 32. Back then having kids young was what you did but looking back on it now, I wish I had waited just a little bit longer. Even just another 2 or 3 years. Have some fun while you're young. You never get that time back!


Good luck!

I said "yes" again to the love of my life at Grand Coral Beach Club, Playa del Carmen, Mexico on our 4th anniversary - October 20, 2015







#6 hellosassypants

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Posted 21 October 2014 - 09:37 AM

I have no advice but I would enjoy your the first few years of being a married couple. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 24 (had her at 25) and we had already been together for 6 years while becoming new homeowners. Our daughter is almost 4 years old and we are doing everything completely backwards. I love my daughter than life itself but if I could do it differently, I would have enjoyed my youth a little more. Got married first, enjoyed my newlywed stage, travel and do other things. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :) 


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#7 cfinkenbine

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Posted 21 October 2014 - 11:59 AM

Thank you all for the advice! 

#8 malyna

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Posted 21 October 2014 - 02:32 PM

It sounds like you already know you want to do!

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#9 beckys98

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Posted 21 October 2014 - 03:32 PM

My sister got married last year and got pregnant on her honeymoon! She joked about doing so, but didn't think it would ACTUALLY happen. Well, as happy as she was to get pregnant easily, she would tell you that she should have waited a little bit. Not that it isn't manageable, but she felt like she missed out on that newlywed phase completely (and they were together for 5 years when they got married)!

Edited by beckys98, 21 October 2014 - 03:33 PM.

#10 nala2009

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Posted 23 October 2014 - 06:18 AM

I just had my first baby so I can tell you it is amazing BUT you Don't get US time... Ever. Lol. So I can completely understand the "wait" view. It will give you time to adjust to your new wife status. A baby is a completely different status. You Definatly sound like you want a baby so I say go for it, maybe wait a few months. Pregnancy lasts and additional 10 months so that should give you lots of time. However I highly recommend buying your house first before that baby. It will allow you to get used to house expenses before expensive babies come in to play!

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