Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
kkeckler

Dw But No Reception?

Recommended Posts

I know, I have read all the etiquette...however I need some advice that is helpful.

 

My fiance and I are not able to afford both a wedding and reception (whether we got married at home or elsewhere).  Both our parents gave us some money, but not enough for both.  We decided to go to Myrtle Beach for a DW and our honeymoon (both our families go there every year).  Our wedding is on the beach at 5:30 and will be short and sweet.  We originally planned on not inviting anyone but our parents, but then other family kept stating that maybe they would come, that they could make it a vacation, so we have decided we would invite family only.  Everyone we have told we have stated that there isnt a reception.

 

That being said, we still cant afford a reception afterwards.  My fiance and I had planned just heading to dinner that night.  We wouldnt mind inviting those who actually come to the wedding however we do not have the financial means to pay for everyone who may come.  I dont want to sound uingrateful to those who come down for the wedding, I am grateful!  But how do I let people know there isnt a reception, but if they would like to go to dinner (non hosted) they are more than welcome.

 

Please, I dont need the comments that I am a horrible person for even thinking to not pay for everyone food...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know, I have read all the etiquette...however I need some advice that is helpful.

 

My fiance and I are not able to afford both a wedding and reception (whether we got married at home or elsewhere). Both our parents gave us some money, but not enough for both. We decided to go to Myrtle Beach for a DW and our honeymoon (both our families go there every year). Our wedding is on the beach at 5:30 and will be short and sweet. We originally planned on not inviting anyone but our parents, but then other family kept stating that maybe they would come, that they could make it a vacation, so we have decided we would invite family only. Everyone we have told we have stated that there isnt a reception.

 

That being said, we still cant afford a reception afterwards. My fiance and I had planned just heading to dinner that night. We wouldnt mind inviting those who actually come to the wedding however we do not have the financial means to pay for everyone who may come. I dont want to sound uingrateful to those who come down for the wedding, I am grateful! But how do I let people know there isnt a reception, but if they would like to go to dinner (non hosted) they are more than welcome.

 

Please, I dont need the comments that I am a horrible person for even thinking to not pay for everyone food...

 

First off- no one here is likely to jump down your throat or flame you for your post.,. BDW is a forum a bit different than many others out there and for the vast majority- is without snark and a really about supporting one another!

 

As for your specific situation, I'm sure if you let people know ahead of time it won't be an issue. Perhaps a champagne toast immediately following your ceremony? Or some small way to thank those people who are making their holiday plans around your wedding so they can be there to celebrate with you?

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you!  We could probably do something like that.  I have just read a handful of forums and any time a question like this is asked it gets ugly!  Could I put something on the rsvp for the wedding about a nonhosted dinner afterwards?  Something like "A nonhosted dinner will follow the ceremony at a destination to be determined." (as we need to look at various places down there first.  I was thinking of a wedding favor for all the guests who attended.  I know it isnt the greatest, but it is the best I have!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's your day and you should have it the way you want!  You shouldn't feel obligated or pressured to host it. Just let them know up front that you are not hosting the reception and they should understand that.  I'm not sure if you're sending invitations but if so, you can just omit the line that says "reception to follow." You can include a little card that says you're planning to have dinner at a particular restaurant if you know.  Say something like a "cash dinner"  (I don't know the right words.) But if you want to have anything maybe just provide a some cake and punch to celebrate with your family afterwards.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do not feel guilty at all by what you can and cannot afford. It is YOUR wedding and YOUR day, and anything you want is acceptable in my opinion. I would verbally tell your family that there is not a reception but anyone who would like to go out to dinner afterwards is more than welcome to come, but the meal will not be provided by the bride and groom. Good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Far from criticizing, I actually commend you for not putting yourself in the poor house! At the end of the day, you'll be married and that is what is important. It sounds like the family you invited truly wants to be there with you, and that is also what is important!

 

I think as long as you pick an affordable place for the dinner - so it isn't much of a financial burden on your guests either - then it is fine to do an "unhosted dinner" and make it optional. If your family goes there regularly for vacation, then they would be buying their own dinner anyway! Being upfront with people so they know what to expect is most important.

 

Maybe do something heartfelt for your guests like a card for each of them with a handwritten note about how important they are to you. Or just a small (cheap or free) touch of appreciation in lieu of paying for their food/drinks. Something special will be remembered.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's fair to let your guest know on the invitation that this a wedding ceremony sans reception. Something like please join us as we commit to one another, afterwards, we'll have our first meal as husband and wife at _________. If you are able, please join us for a No-Host lunch, it'll make the day even more special.

 

Then, I think if you did a hand written thank you note about how special it is that they are here...and skip the favor. Once you're in a better financial situation you can host a BBQ or brunch at your new home..call it a now that we have some money reception! Good luck! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if you are having more than a manageable group of people, I would try to arrange a deal with a local restaurant for a meal package- like 50$ for dinner and drinks. I would then include that in my RSVP saying dinner at X restaurant, optional following ceremony, 50$. That way you can get a head count and they will know how much to pay. I would also skip the favors - no point wasting money on that. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have already indicated that there is no reception AND technically your extended family invited themselves along.

It also sounds like they understand your situation.

The idea of a small champagne toast is nice. And you could always bake cookies as your wedding favour

 

If you someone is doing a house (or similar) vacation rental perhaps you cld make it a pot luck wedding?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What about doing something cheaper for the reception? Oeuvres only receptions are VERY cheap. You could do a cash bar to keep costs down and no decorations. I'd hate to "rely" on gifts, but if you do throw a small reception you'll most likely receive gifts that will cover the cost. If you only have 20 or so ppl there it would be well less than $500. (You could prob do it for around $20/person).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Recent studies indicate that organizations, both large and small, either already have an HRO relationship and plan to expand it, or are considering one in the coming year. The survey, conducted by HfS Research and the London School of Economics, finds that 31% of business already outsource human resources san antonio and are looking to increase outsourced services over the next year. What is the driver for these businesses to outsource human resources? It is no secret that in lean economic times, business owners are pressed to identify expenses within an organization that can be reduced or minimized. Employment overhead (payroll, taxes, workers' compensation insurance, employee benefits, governmental compliance, and other employee-related cost centers) typically comprise the single highest area of expense within a company. More than rent, or facilities operations, or equipment, or compliance, human resources administration and expenses weigh heaviest on the business's bottom line. Streamlined HR Systems HRO firms offer streamlined human resource systems to their clients, significantly minimizing management's time in overseeing daily administrative tasks. Non-productive "paper pushing" can be outsourced to the HR firm, enabling key staff to focus on their core competencies. Processes such as payroll processing, tax filing and compliance, Unemployment Claims administration, workers' compensation management, and employee benefits enrollment and management can all easily and efficiently be outsourced. Cost effective insurance products. Reducing employment risks Government compliance and regulations continue to grow in complexity and scale. From wage and hour issues, to discrimination restrictions, to protected classes of employees and new disability guidelines, employers often walk through a minefield of risk. Without dedicated human resources personnel or legal counsel, it is likely a business will be faced with some form of an employment lawsuit in the coming years which can costs tens-of-thousands of dollars. With close to 100,000 employment claims filed in 2010 (the highest on record!), employers recognize the risk and are turning to Human Resource Outsourcing firms to assist them in managing these risks. Human Resources Outsourcing may not be the solution for every employment need. However, for most employers with less than 200 employees looking to reduce employment expenses and overhead, outsourcing human resources may be exactly what their organization needs. As the economy continues to improve and stabilize, the time will soon come that employers will be refocusing on growth and profitability. It may also entail rehiring staff, restructuring the organization, or simply concentrating on areas that have been left on the side. Certainly, proper employment administration and oversight will be priorities to get back on their feet. However, with the demands of rebuilding, many employers may be unable to spend the necessary time focusing on their staff. Read about one organization that found a different way - through Human Resources Outsourcing. Since joining the San Antonio Human Resources Outsourcing firm, he feels that the day-to-day protection he experiences in the area of employment exposures is immeasurable. Our HRO vendor has become our 'go-to resource.' Without this type of relationship we end up making our own decisions, without proper knowledge of the law, and will ultimately You think you can use common sense, but common sense and the law rarely match! The Director says the benefits of the outsourcing relationship were immediately realized, as the new systems and processes were implemented and functioning within 30-60 days.  
    • As of late 2019, the Gatekeepers Museum no longer hosts wedding events.
    • So thanks to coronavirus, my husband and I have had to make alterations to our wedding. I don’t think I have to put this in, but this isn’t a joke and need we thoughts on this.   We’re planning on having our full, entire wedding inside this bubble (I’m inside it for scale). This is to get complete isolation from the virus and to prevent it from spreading to either of us, or if we have the virus somehow, spreading it to others. Both of will get inside it for the whole day (or at least that’s the plan). We are ok with making small to moderate changes from a typical wedding if it means isolating inside a bubble, but any big changes would mean we probably won’t use the bubble then. Are there any parts in the wedding that would be difficult or downright impossible to do inside this bubble? What are your thoughts on this idea, and what would need to be changed from a traditional wedding?  
    • Sadly no .. its been a year and a half since our wedding and till this day we cannot get a hold of him.  We had a few people reach out to us and the same thing happened to them about a month or 2 after us. 
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...