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BethandBill

worried about low attendance for our wedding

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A friend of mine had a destination wedding a couple of years ago and she told me right away - attendance rate will be 30%. I thought it was hilarious that she was so specific but guess what? Six months later and she was right on the money. We invited around 90 people and 30 are coming.

 

I noticed that our friends who are more "home bodies" and not particularly adventurous are the ones who are not coming while the friends who are easy going and up for a good time will be there. Taking a trip is a bigger deal for some people than others. We also decided to have a reception in Ireland (where my fiancé is from) after the wedding so of course, none of his Irish family are coming to our actual wedding. Is anyone else avoiding an "at home" reception for that reason?

 

But overall I am so glad with our turnout. There were some disappointments along the way but it's a perfect group in the end and I wouldn't change it. When you're there and having the time of your life you won't even think about who's not there. Whoever IS there (most importantly you and your fiancé) will be all that matters.

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I actually have a higher number than expected. My wedding is on 12/13/14 and I thought I'd have about 15-20 guest, but 33 people have already booked. People that I didn't think would come are coming. I think I may end up with 45-50 guest. You really never know..

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I actually decided to do a DW because I knew it would limit the # of people attending.  My FI and I both have big families and to have a wedding at home, we would have had over 200 guests.  We just can't afford a wedding that big.  So DW it is!

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We had a lot of people tell us they would definitely be there, we are both from big families, but in the end... 13 people. It was still amazing, and I wouldn't have changed a thing!

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We had a bunch of people on board at the beginning, and we changed our date to accommodate everyone else, from October to November. Well, it all fell apart, bit by bit. We're older and have grown kids with kids of their own so thought maybe they wouldn't be able to go. But as people cancelled, it just snowballed and everyone was afraid the price would go up if we didn't make our group quota. Well, in the end the BM and MOH backed out too. I was so hurt. It nearly split hubby and I up after 10 years together because we argued about it so much. We were going to cancel the trip and everything and just get married at home, then honeymoon in Jamaica but the costs just escalated like crazy.

 

In the end, he put his foot down and said screw everyone else. We're doing what we wanted in the first place and that's going to Jamaica to get married on the beach. And we did. Just the two of us with the 2 WCs as our witnesses. We had a great time! Sure there was part of me on the day of the wedding that looked down the long path and saw no one there, but when I saw him at the end standing with the minister, that did it. He looked so damned handsome and sexy standing there that all I wanted was to marry him. The resort I think took pity on us and treated us like royalty for our wedding since we were only 2, and our photographer was the absolute sweetest man in the world about it all and even stayed and had dinner with us.

 

I realized ladies that the end result was the most important. I married the absolute love of my life in a beautiful gazebo on a gorgeous beach in Jamaica and that's what counted. Yes - we missed having family and friends there and there is a friendship that hit the skids over it and is finished but we had an AHR 2 weeks after we got home and almost 3 years later people still talk about it because it was so much fun. Whatever is meant to be will be.

 

And now it all turned out to be even more important because I almost ended up not being here to even tell anyone about our wedding. Just a little too close as a matter of fact. If all goes well we will celebrate our life together and renew our vows next year on our anniversary in October. We have people that have said they would like to go. Will they? I don't know at this point. Anything could happen. But again the important thing will be that we're both alive, and hopefully both healthy again and able to renew our commitment to each other whether there is anyone else there or not. 

 

I know it's difficult when you're young and just starting out but treasure your time together and don't dwell on having the perfect wedding. You just never know if God has another plan for you and when it all could be taken away.

 

Good luck to everyone and happy planning! Enjoy the process of getting to the alter!

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This entire process is teaching me to learn to let go! I'll be happy with seeing him waiting to make me his wife as well. :wub:

 

But I'm blessed that friends & family will be there to share our day no matter the number.

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@@GingerJ228 Thanks!

I can be really anal and controlling at times, but planning a wedding from a distance teaches you that you really are NOT in control at all. It becomes easy to loose focus of what the trip is really about- you becoming a union with the person you love. When you view it that way, everything seems so minor.

Are you ready for your date? It's right around the corner!!!

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Great insight!

 

Simple, composed, and genuine! All traits that work in planning a wedding are sure to be seeds for marriage!

 

There are many variables out of our control, but the ones we do control are the ones to cherish! I plan to embrace each moment for what it means to my FI and our children. Hoping others will want to be there with us, but as long as our 4 children our there to share in our joy that is really all we need!

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