I literally just had to pull my fiance over and ask him if he posted this as a joke. I feel exactly the same way and I'm in the same boat! I tell everyone now that my biggest regret is that we didnt just elope. What the heck was I thinking inviting over 100+ people!?!? When those rsvp's kept rolling in as "no's", I was literally getting sick to my stomach. I just dont understand why people feel that Im inconveniencing them! You told me originally "I wouldnt miss it!" Its like a knife in my chest when I hear "Well, you should have known people weren't going to be able to come. Why don't you just honeymoon there?" Because my fiance and I are doing what we can afford!!! And the famous line "well, are you going to have a reception when you get back? we'll come to that".... oh geeze thanks. Thanks for justifying exactly why we should have eloped... ALL PEOPLE CARE ABOUT IS THE PARTY! I have 2 family members coming to my wedding, he has 12... 2 of which are cousins that he's never even met before and we'll meet for the first time in Jamaica. My own brother who has the money, who already has a passport, isnt even attending my wedding. I have a health condition where Im supposed to keep stress to a minimal... and here I really thought that a DW would be perfect and everyone would understand that as well. Well, the joke's on me for that one! Getting people to understand how much, much less Im doing thanks to the resort & their wedding packages is so far out of the picture its ridiculous... people have their heads so far up Tradition's butt they just cant see it. Tradition is nice, but different is beautiful.
I didnt want to get married without some of my friends and family there as well... but for the 14 that are there, making it happen, I'm honored and will never forget it. And they get a phenomenal vacation while they're at it... cause there's not one person I know that couldnt use a once in a lifetime vacation!
People will be hurt & say hurtful things if you continue with your DW, no doubt... maybe its jealousy, maybe its fear, maybe it is circumstance/money.... but thats no excuse for anyone to make you feel bad about what you want to do for your wedding! They're wrong, not you!! But its not their wedding, so they'll get over it... where you'll carry around the hurt for many, many years to come.. if you give them what THEY want instead of doing what YOU want.
All I can say is dont lose sight of whats important to you and your fiance. It's just not worth it. You do what you can and what will make you happy. <---or at least this is what I try to tell myself! lol
Originally Posted by scarletbride
Argh. In the beginning, the idea of a destination wedding was a total "ah-hah!" moment. FI and I could pay for our way with our meager salaries, opt for the free resort wedding, and have our honeymoon all rolled into one. At first, our nearest and dearest were totally on board. The reason I decided to start booking was because of the initial positive response I got from everyone. Now, a few months later, I've already got people backing out.. people that were originally "I wouldn't miss it!" The wedding is frickin 12 months away, and people are going to automatically say no because they can't afford it.. I privately consulted the most important people to me prior to announcing my DW, and after everyone confirmed "yes! awesome!" I announced it...... and now all those people are backing out.
And here's the kicker: they're backing out, then making ME feel bad about having as DW... "well, you should have known people weren't going to be able to come. Why don't you just honeymoon there?" Because FI and I have about 3k to spend and we would like to have a nice wedding AND honeymoon. We have a 6 year-old daughter together and we just never get any time to ourselves, we've never been on vacation alone together and we've been together for 8 years! I don't understand how some of you people have 50-100 people following you around the world, my own sister won't even try to save any money to come... and I gave her 14 months notice, I mean really!
So I've been playing with the idea of cancelling the DW plans and planning a local wedding, but the idea of doing that literally makes me want to cry. I don't want to talk about chair covers and sashes and DIY candles and place cards and all the frickin wedding porn. Especially on a meager budget, that just takes all the fun out of planning when it's just stressful. I don't want to plan it at all. I have a Dominican lady doing all that for me, and I'd like to keep it that way. But I don't want to get married without my friends and some family there either. I wish I was rich