Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
R&DVolz2011

Cold feet or Cancel Wedding? HELP!!!!!!!!

Recommended Posts

I know this is an old thread, but I know that there's so many others that are going to read this for the same advice you were looking for.  I hope with whatever decision you made, you're doing well now.  

A friend once told me this quote... "dont settle for someone you can live with, settle with someone you cant live without"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can completely relate to this, I was getting married by default.I never really sat down and choose my future life partner. Things got finalised in August and  we were planning the wedding for December. We were friends from college but lost touch after graduating. We reconnected 2 years later. One really ugly fight made me start thinking (we were fighting prior to it too). I mostly didnt look forward to his calls or was paticulalry excited to hear from him. I realised I was so caught up with the wedding date and how convenient it would be for everyone to come and how happy my parents were that I forgot whether I really knew the guy I was marrying or whether I loved him. We fought over really petty issues, from money to what his mother said to what he thinks of my family (yeah pretty ugly). He texted saying "forget about the wedding" a month from it and that he couldnt be with some one as difficult and selfish as me. It caught me by surprise. mind you our entire relationship from aug onwards was long distance. I surprisingly didnt feel bad about him suggesting that, I even told my parents about the fight. Things just got worse. I realised that I wasn't sure if he was the one. I didnt know if i was attracted to him, when i met him in aug it felt awkward with him, the thought of kissing him freaked me out. And then I thought of the wedding night and I woke up with anxiety for a month. I didnt feel a comfort level with him. To add to the pressure he was still finishing grad school and wasnt paticularly financially independant. His parents were stressed about supporting him and then his wife would be a nightmare for them. There were constant trust issues and fights between the parents too. So amongst all this I decided to postpone the wedding. Was I crazy for doing it? Any feedback would really help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so glad I found posts like these. I hope it all worked out for you, but reading this post and the replies makes me feel better about what I am feeling (or less pathetic.. maybe selfish?). About two years ago my fiance was emailing women on a date hookup website, I caught him, he lied and lied and lied. I left. we worked it out, and moved on. Well, now, he has lied to me about going to strip clubs. granted I woudl've been pissed, why am I getting everything around for this wedding and budgeting and saving money... and hes out doing and paying for lord knows what. But not even that, he lied about it. He didnt contact me all night, I was worried sick and att told me where he phone was... NOT at the hotel sleeping like he said. and he lied. and lied and lied. 

 

My fear is, if you can lie so easily about that, what else can you do? I feel completely empty, i literally feel nothing toward him. We have been fighting a lot lately, and I wonder why he even thought it was a good idea to propose... or why we planned a wedding 18 months after that and not further out.

 

I really don't know if I can spend the rest of my life with him when I dont even want to talk to him...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@becassidy :( I'm sorry you are going through this. I guess the only piece of advice I have to give you is listen to that gut feeling you have. There is a difference between wedding jitters and doubting the person you are marrying. I for one could not stay with someone that I can't trust. Love and passion come and go but trust and respect is what makes things work in the long run. 

 

I have seen so many women settle when what they should have done is walk away. People don't change, us woman like to convince ourselves that a man can love us enough to change... but sadly it is not the case. If a man lies to you, he doesn't care about you enough. Harsh maybe but it's the truth. Don't be afraid to follow what your heart tells you. You will avoid future heartache. 

 

Hope you figure this out. Good luck. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@becassidy

So sorry that you are going through this. But Lilian84 is giving some really good advice. Trust your own judgment and do what is best for you. Ultimately that's what matters.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • I have stayed at Dreams La Romana and Dreams Dominicus.  The two resorts are very different in style and decor. A few comparison points are below and fact sheets are attached for both.   Both resorts are approx 45 minutes from Punta Cana airport, close proximity to Saona Island, Catalina Island and Altos de Chavon. Top championship golf courses in the Caribbean are just minutes away including Teeth of the Dog, Dye Fore, The Links and La Estancia – all designed by world-famous Pete Dye. Restaurants are similar at both resorts.  Both offer the Explorers Club for Kids.  Dreams Dominicus  Brand new resort and in 2016 488 rooms (however additional construction was underway) More contemporary style & decor Good beach area Rooms were very nice Preferred Club located in main lobby and adjacent to main pool & beach front Food was good Center plaza area with nighttime entertainment Main lobby is small, but outdoor bar off lobby is nice Dreams La Romana Originally built in 2003 & opened as Dreams La Romana in 2008 756 rooms Recently renovated and new preferred club adults only lounge & pool added  Rooms are more traditional Caribbean decor Grounds are very lush and tropical Good beach area food was good    Dreams Dominicus fact sheet.pdf Dreams La Romana fact sheet.pdf
    • My sister has done it but with the destination wedding, only super close family members and friends came since it was expensive and farther. It was great though.
    • Thanks! I had it printed out. Very useful!!
    • Hello Guys, Are you looking for affordable wedding venue, reception halls, party rentals, outdoor event venue, birthday party venue in mobile al.  Choose Anne-Marie Cottage for your special occasion. Our cottage is an affordable venue for your intimate wedding.   Thank u 
    • Flower girl dresses tend to follow the latest trends in bridal party and thanks for sharing Great website that provide  good collection & services with affordable price .
  • Topics

×