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PurpleUnicorn

did anyone have a really SMALL wedding, but without intending to, and how did you feel about it?

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I'm expecting to have between 10-20 guests (probably closer to 10).  Initially we were going to have a private reception following the semi-private dinner, but i'm on the fence about this.  Even if we do have 20 guests, I'm not sure how it would work out.  I feel like everyone would be sitting around starring at each other and I don't people to feel awkward or out of place.  Our ceremony is at 1pm and dinner isn't until 6:30, so i'm thinking an inpromtu cocktail hour at the piano bar or something.  we are on a very tight budget so...  not very many options!  I'm torn about the first dance, I really want to have this, but not really immediately after the ceremony.  oh well, i'm sure everything will fall into place!

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Originally Posted by ~Nicole~ View Post

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennW818 View Post

 

I'm so glad I found this thread.  Reading all your stories has made me feel so much better about being in the same situation.  I originally assumed that we would have a very small wedding.  Much to my surprise, over 50 people responded that they were coming or told other friends that they were coming.  Now, with 3 months to go, only 2 couples have actually booked.  My booking close date is March 1st.  I'm sure that some of these people will wind up coming, but it's looking like my number will be closer to 20-25.  I'm completely fine with that and am extremely thankful that those people will be coming.  At the same time, I feel a little disappointed because I've spent so much time planning things around a big group.  I'm so confused what to do about my plans now.  Do I still get a DJ and dance floor for 20 people?  I feel like it will look silly. Can you still have a tradtional reception with that small of a group or is it just a private dinner? I'm honestly a little sad at this point.  We're not having an AHR and I really want to have all those special moments...the first dance, cake cutting, etc.  My bridal party is seriously going to be half of those attending!    I'm so confused now.

 

 

Jenn, let me assure you that you can totally still have those special moments!!  All but 2 guests and a baby where in my wedding party, so I thought that would look so strange, but it worked out!  I wanted a first dance as well so we did it immediately after the ceremony since all the sound equipment was there.  I think the decision to get a DJ would depend on the group you have going.  If you want one, get one!  I didn't have an AHR either, so the small Mexico wedding was the extent of our celebration and I was in no way disappointed.  Seriously don't be down about it!!  It will still be as special as ever!!  Do whatever feels right to you :)

 

yup, i have to agree, you should still have those moments.  I have been worried since the beginning that my bridal party is too big and uneven. i have SIX bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen!  it is still quite possible that 1 GM and 2 of BMs will not make it!  but that still leave more than half the guests IN the wedding party.  i think i might only have our parents, plus 2 - 4 friends, plus 2 BMs bpyfriends in the audience. everyone else will be standing up!   it bothered for me a LONG time.  only recently since i came to terms with the small wedding thing (thanks to people on this thread), that i decided nothing HAS to be a certain way. it is what it is and it will be amazing!

 

as for those special moments. i have been planning my first dance song for about my entire relationship with my fiance! i don't care if there is 3 other guests, we are doing it!  also, because i thought i was having more people, i bought things like a guest book, decided on a private reception so bought decorations and centerpieces i can pack, bought a cake knife set.  and i still totally going to have all these things and love it!  and you should too!!

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I think you should do absolutely every last thing that will make this special for you! You have one chance to make these memories, so I'm glad to see that you're not leaving anything out that you might regret later. You and your FI deserve a wonderful day!!
 

Originally Posted by PurpleUnicorn View Post

oh, i am also not having an AHR, so this is my only chance to have those traditions and moments



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Here are my small wedding details:

We had 24 guests after inviting close to 60.  9 were in the wedding, including us, and we had 2 MC's too! We had private events after our ceremony and just rented a stereo to play our i pod on for the dance. It was about $350 for cocktail hour with appetizers and $650 for our private dinner and it was totally worth it for us to have the private wedding feel we wanted.  Everyone danced and partied until the private event ended at 11pm, then we moved the party to the resorts disco.  We didn't have a cake for totally different reasons(I have celiac's), but we still did programs, the garter and bouqet toss, first dance and father/daughter dance, guest book(memory postcards), speeches, slideshow, etc.

 

I think AHR are a waste...it would have cut into our DW budget and I honestly had no desire to have one just to appease people who couldn't come(luckily our must have people were all able to come to our DW, or I may feel differently about AHRs!), so we had everything we ever wanted in a wedding and it was on a beach in Mexico, the best of both worlds!!  cheers.gif

I highly recommed putting all your eggs into your one "beach" basket girls!bunny.gif

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Originally Posted by Vic0214 View Post

 

Just reading this has made me feel so much comfortable about my little mexico wedding!! Thanks soo much for making a forum about this!!

 

no problem!  i started it because i was bit depressed/upset about my small wedding.. but after reading everyone's replies, I felt MUCH better and could not be more excited for my wedding....we are not at 17 people including bride and groom. and i think its perfect!  in fact, i don't think i want more than 20!

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Common story here :)

 

I got so damn made cuz my BFF talked me into picking a much more expensive resort and then backed out !!!! So less people are coming cuz of it!!!

 

AND............not to mention the two weddings we were BOTH in last year......spend thousands of money on.........those two couples promised to be there.....and wouldnt you know it.......THEY CANT AFFORD IT.................OH REALLY

 

AND WE COULD AFFORD TO BE IN YOUR WEDDING (ONE WAS OUT OF TOWN).........

 

I GUESS THE NUMBERS/MONEY LOOKS SCARIER UPFRONT

 

OH LET ME ADD UP THE COSTS OF THEIR WEDDINGS AND PUT IT ON PAPER IN FRONT OF THEM..................BIG SURPRISE!!!

 

ONE OF THE COUPLES WENT AS FAR TO SAY "I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO SPEND MY MONEY ON"!!

 

Rude, Rude, rude !!!!

 

I dont regret for one sec. doing a beach wedding......

 

we have 10 ppl including us....

 

Its all good tho............ I would still do it if NO one came......LOL

 

I wasnt gonna do a AHR reception but honestly I MIGHT do it so I that these people gotta give gifts........LOL.....bootyshake.gif Terrible huh???

 

 

 

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Guest number is always tough with DW, I've heard and now I'm experiencing it too.I was intially inviting 30 people, but that number went down to 25 even before the invitations have come out cheesy.gif. My fiancee really didn't want to invite anyone, lol. He says he wants me all to himself at the wedding cause we always have more fun when we vacay by ourselves. I had to really "encourage" him to invite more than his parents and his brother, lol. At this point, I don't care if my numbers whittle down alot, because I want to do alot of the fun stuff the other brides have mentioned (plus the wedding will be cheaper) they can do with small groups. But the invitations are going out this week. I'm not sure how I'll actuallyl feel if only a few RSVPs come back...but until then I could care less!

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I was really struggling with this for a while.  I originally thought we would have close to 30 people, but now many people have backed out...some really important people that mean the world to me.  My feelings were really hurt at first, but then I realized I was getting stressed over something I had no control over, and one of the reasons I chose a DW is because of the low-stress factor.  Now I've just made up my mind that no matter who shows up, as long as my fiance is there, I am happy.

 

I had plans for the big dinner/reception, and I'm still planning to do the private dinner and reception.  The only change is we won't rent a DJ now...just use the IPod.  We will still do the first dance, but that is about the only formal thing, as we won't be having a wedding party (didn't want to place that pressure on people).

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