LOL You crack me up, Bonnie!
There's a whoooole conversation (series of them) which occurred right before I put an end to that batty woman's ties to my man. I'll have to message it to you.
I think while he may not have been attracted to her, that he did have a deep emotional connection with her which filled his void of a relationship. He was single for 8 years before we met, so I think during all that time because he didn't have a gf, she kinda took the place of one, but without the lustful attraction.
I think giving her a shot to continue the friendship until SHE screwed up was still best. I have a clean conscience and let her make herself look bad.
And your last point - I def agree. You can love someone from your past accepting that they are part of your HISTORY and PAST for a reason. You DON'T keep that (&%$ going in present day and at 3am!!! lol
I was able to be very honest with her and explain things to her so that she was clear about my perspective and explain what she was doing wrong (in my opinion, wrong)... I also took it upon myself to explain a few other things... (mwuahaha!) jk jk lol... maybe.
Originally Posted by prettypigpig
hmmm ok here are my thoughts...
I have a lot of admirers (aka males friends), some we dated or/and engaged, some we are friends since teenagers...in fact I don't really have girls as friends.
1) She definitely LOVES/ LIKES/FANCIES your man. and thinks he too shares the same feeling.
2) Your man must shared the same feeling sometimes in his past. No man would cuddle and kiss and answer to calls/ text/ phone date if they are not interested. If he said he never saw it this way, then he must be a closet gay or a liar.
3) Better be mean than be sorry! Like chinese saying, empathy to your enemies is cruelty to yourself. My hubby got used to my male BFFFFFFs because he knows that I don't have any female friends...and somehow he understands my admirers, but I basically eliminated all his female BFFFFFFs except 2 (one was his first gf). If I don't feel comfy, s/he is out and off of his friends' list. I draw my line on the sand during our earlier days, it is my way or no way. It is ok to be bold and direct.
4) Coming from the other side, one of my ex was dating a girl and kept telling her I am his bfffffff....I was pretty much just a good friend after we broke up. One day, we went for brunch, after a few mimosa, I told her that she got a nice deal, if he wants me back, I would go back with him asap (I said it as a joke), but he took it very seriously...he dumped her on the spot! the chick went into tears..and I was in shock and very guilty. Yes, we were engaged twice, he is still my bfff, and we still say love u once in a while. We were too young and the timing was always wrong (and eventually we accepted it, sometimes something is not meant to be). However, we don't text at 2 am, and phone date....and forget cuddle and pecks!