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simplnsweet

am i being unreasonable?

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Honestly, I'd be super excited that I get to be there for that special moment! And I think it was pretty cool of him to ask, since like someone else mentioned, it's their vacation too. Granted I don't really like attention, but I also don't see the big deal even if you do like attention - people will likely forget all about the engagement while they're at teh wedding. And if they don't ... so what!?

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In my case everyone will know them both. Because we have been friends for such a long time even my future-in-laws know them from us having them over everytime they visit. Which is another reason I think it will be hard for her to keep it secret. Except for her parents everyone at our wedding will be the same people that ordinarily they would be calling to tell about their proposal/engagement and the same people that will be attending their wedding....which he explained is also another reason why he wants to do it cause perhaps they can announce it Sunday before everyone leaves.....I guess we'll see how it turns out. I'm glad I am not the only person dealing with something like this.

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Like you said, if they only know a few people who will be there and none of their family will be there, I doubt that a lot of thunder would be stolen from your special day. With that in mind though, it makes me cringe any time somebody thinks that it's a good idea to propose to someone at someone else's wedding - doesn't feel like proper etiquette. The suggestion of doing it the day after though is a good one!

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I don't know, me personally i don't think i would like it. Yes, your vacation. BUT, you are there for me and my wedding! Not because you decided to plan this trip just because. I guess that they want to do it after the wedding is good, but i still don't think i would be pleased. But this is just me giving me honest opinion and i'm not one that loves the attention but you better believe that for my wedding I want it to be ALL ABOUT ME!

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Can't he wait until after the wedding? Why would he propose the day before your wedding?! I don't think you're being unreasonable. Yes, it's their vacation too, but it's your welcome dinner for your wedding!

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I think thats totally inappropriate. I would not be impressed at all. Maybe if it was towards the end of the trip when the wedding was done etc

 

This situation happened to my friend on her weddingmoon trip, except slightly different in that my friend who got married had been tryin to get preggers for years unsucessfully then her SIL gets pregnant the whole family then move their concerntration away from their wedding and to the SIL baby.

 

Then they go for weddingmoon and surprise surprise SIL gets engaged on the trip - so once again stealing their thunder!

 

It wont only be you who thinks its not right if it does go ahead!

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Same thing happening to me too. FI's GM is proposing in mexico too. At first I was upset. Then I thought about it for awhile and now have accepted it as long as they do it AFTER the wedding. We'll see.

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I agree 100% with Andi. I was going to comment myself, but she pretty much said exactly what I wanted. I see your point, but I don't really see it taking away from your day. Good luck with whatever happens!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andi View Post
hmmm, while I totally understand where you are coming from, you have to remember that this will be their vacation too.

 

Will the BM and his gf have any of their family there with them? If they both are just friends of yours then I am assuming that they won't. that being said, I am sure people will congratulate them and such, as they should, but I don't see it taking away from your big day. Also as long as he doesn't doing ON your big day...it would be bad I think if for example he did it in the middle of the reception or something. As long though as he does it on a different day, I think it will be fine.

 

Like I said, this is their vacation too and you do have to remember that as well.

 

Trust me, I totally get where you are coming from but I don't see it taking anything away from your wedding. I think this same thing happened to another bride, tvt (tara). there might even be a thread on it, let me see if i can find it. same situation and in the end it was totally fine.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lolita29 View Post
I don't know, me personally i don't think i would like it. Yes, your vacation. BUT, you are there for me and my wedding! Not because you decided to plan this trip just because. I guess that they want to do it after the wedding is good, but i still don't think i would be pleased. But this is just me giving me honest opinion and i'm not one that loves the attention but you better believe that for my wedding I want it to be ALL ABOUT ME!

I couldn't have said it better myself!!!!

I wouldn't care what happens after my wedding day but anytime before that it's going to be all about me and my FI!!! I'm pretty sure they would mind if it was the other way around.

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