Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
simplnsweet

am i being unreasonable?

Recommended Posts

ok....so my FI's best man is a great guy. He has come with his gf with us on our last two vacations to Mexico. He has now been together with his gf for about 1.5. This is the longest serious relationship he has been in and just this past jan he and her moved in together...another HUGE thing for him. He told my FI that he wants to propose to his gf the first or second night we are in Mexico. We are getting married on the third night and plan to have a welcome dinner the second night ( we arrive late on the first night so we moved the dinner). Jason told me this info but I am not suppose to know. Well, I was not cool with the idea at all. It is my wedding and really I don't ask for much but I really don't want him to do it. I am a Leo and well...am not afraid of attention. When I got engaged, I was soooooooooooooooooooooo happy. I shared my proposal story to my close friends and family and was so proud of my man. Jason had a feeling I was not going to be too pleased about this plan. He told his BM of how I may feel about this idea. The BM thought I would not have a problem with it. ..some people with congratulate him and then everyone will remember why they are there.... I think not! I know if it was the reverse, his gf would flip! I just think it inappropriate. I told my guy to suggest he do it after the wedding...at the very least. What do you all think? The more I think about it, the more I am peeved! Maybe at his wedding..(likely will be a DW) I should announce I am preggers...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Loved the 'preggers' threat! I agree with you that he doesn't need to steal your thunder -- it's your wedding after all. I also think it was nice of you to compromise by suggesting he do it AFTER the wedding (I assume you mean while still at the resort). THat way, you get to be the star on your day, and he gets to propose to the love of his life at a beautiful venue while his BF has his back. It's a win win for everyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hmmm, while I totally understand where you are coming from, you have to remember that this will be their vacation too.

 

Will the BM and his gf have any of their family there with them? If they both are just friends of yours then I am assuming that they won't. that being said, I am sure people will congratulate them and such, as they should, but I don't see it taking away from your big day. Also as long as he doesn't doing ON your big day...it would be bad I think if for example he did it in the middle of the reception or something. As long though as he does it on a different day, I think it will be fine.

 

Like I said, this is their vacation too and you do have to remember that as well.

 

Trust me, I totally get where you are coming from but I don't see it taking anything away from your wedding. I think this same thing happened to another bride, tvt (tara). there might even be a thread on it, let me see if i can find it. same situation and in the end it was totally fine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Andi, thank you too for your opinion. I just saw it after I responded to Lucy. His gf is super nice but has been waiting sooo long for a ring.. I know if she got it the day before...say after our dress rehearsal the night before the wedding..she would so flaunting it and I just think it would take away from our special day. They will not be having any family there...we will only be about 25 people. I understand it is their vacation too but I would never think my guy would do something like that. I would greatly appreciate if you have the link to the thread.. I will look too. I guess knowing that it has been done to someone else on this site makes it more comforting. I am open to seeing it from others' perspectives.. maybe I just need to hear them and think about this in a not so selfish way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh I just read back through Tara's thread, there was never an update on whether or not the proposal actually happened or not... I *think* it did though and was fine, she is around sometimes still and can maybe fill you in on how it turned out!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This same thing is happening to me. Well a little different. Its my friend who is going to be proposing to his gf at our wedding. He and I have been friends for over 16years so I was happy when he asked me to help him go ring shopping (he has been with his gf for 4 yrs). When we found the right ring about a couple weeks went by then he asked me to lunch cause he wanted to ask me how I felt about something. He told me he planned to propose on the beach in T&C while there for my wedding. At first I was so happy. But when I told my FI he was not pleased at all. He actually requested that I ask my friend not to. So I called my friend up and explained that we really didn't want anything taking away from our day and that FI was concerned that his proposal would. He said he understood and said he planned to do it on the Sunday (the day after our wedding) but if he did it before he would ask that she not tell anyone and not wear the ring until after. Though I know that probably won't happen cause I remember when I got engaged I told anyone and everyone! I would expect her to be just as excited (she is 37 and has been waiting for this her whole life!!). Since then I have decided not to worry about it. In the end, I have to face the fact that it is their vacation and though I can ask them to be respectful of my wishes I can't make them do anything. I'm just concentrating on making my day the most memorable and special that I can and hope that all friends and family attending will participate to add and not detract from the occassion.

Thanks Andi for posting the other thread. It really helped to read that as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • I have stayed at Dreams La Romana and Dreams Dominicus.  The two resorts are very different in style and decor. A few comparison points are below and fact sheets are attached for both.   Both resorts are approx 45 minutes from Punta Cana airport, close proximity to Saona Island, Catalina Island and Altos de Chavon. Top championship golf courses in the Caribbean are just minutes away including Teeth of the Dog, Dye Fore, The Links and La Estancia – all designed by world-famous Pete Dye. Restaurants are similar at both resorts.  Both offer the Explorers Club for Kids.  Dreams Dominicus  Brand new resort and in 2016 488 rooms (however additional construction was underway) More contemporary style & decor Good beach area Rooms were very nice Preferred Club located in main lobby and adjacent to main pool & beach front Food was good Center plaza area with nighttime entertainment Main lobby is small, but outdoor bar off lobby is nice Dreams La Romana Originally built in 2003 & opened as Dreams La Romana in 2008 756 rooms Recently renovated and new preferred club adults only lounge & pool added  Rooms are more traditional Caribbean decor Grounds are very lush and tropical Good beach area food was good    Dreams Dominicus fact sheet.pdf Dreams La Romana fact sheet.pdf
    • My sister has done it but with the destination wedding, only super close family members and friends came since it was expensive and farther. It was great though.
    • Thanks! I had it printed out. Very useful!!
    • Hello Guys, Are you looking for affordable wedding venue, reception halls, party rentals, outdoor event venue, birthday party venue in mobile al.  Choose Anne-Marie Cottage for your special occasion. Our cottage is an affordable venue for your intimate wedding.   Thank u 
    • Flower girl dresses tend to follow the latest trends in bridal party and thanks for sharing Great website that provide  good collection & services with affordable price .
  • Topics

×