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am i being unreasonable?


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#1 simplnsweet

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    Posted 18 July 2010 - 08:55 PM

    ok....so my FI's best man is a great guy. He has come with his gf with us on our last two vacations to Mexico. He has now been together with his gf for about 1.5. This is the longest serious relationship he has been in and just this past jan he and her moved in together...another HUGE thing for him. He told my FI that he wants to propose to his gf the first or second night we are in Mexico. We are getting married on the third night and plan to have a welcome dinner the second night ( we arrive late on the first night so we moved the dinner). Jason told me this info but I am not suppose to know. Well, I was not cool with the idea at all. It is my wedding and really I don't ask for much but I really don't want him to do it. I am a Leo and well...am not afraid of attention. When I got engaged, I was soooooooooooooooooooooo happy. I shared my proposal story to my close friends and family and was so proud of my man. Jason had a feeling I was not going to be too pleased about this plan. He told his BM of how I may feel about this idea. The BM thought I would not have a problem with it. ..some people with congratulate him and then everyone will remember why they are there.... I think not! I know if it was the reverse, his gf would flip! I just think it inappropriate. I told my guy to suggest he do it after the wedding...at the very least. What do you all think? The more I think about it, the more I am peeved! Maybe at his wedding..(likely will be a DW) I should announce I am preggers...

    #2 Thomasjsgirl

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      Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:01 PM

      Loved the 'preggers' threat! I agree with you that he doesn't need to steal your thunder -- it's your wedding after all. I also think it was nice of you to compromise by suggesting he do it AFTER the wedding (I assume you mean while still at the resort). THat way, you get to be the star on your day, and he gets to propose to the love of his life at a beautiful venue while his BF has his back. It's a win win for everyone.
      Lucy & Tom - Married 24.11.08
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      #3 Andi

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        Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:03 PM

        hmmm, while I totally understand where you are coming from, you have to remember that this will be their vacation too.

        Will the BM and his gf have any of their family there with them? If they both are just friends of yours then I am assuming that they won't. that being said, I am sure people will congratulate them and such, as they should, but I don't see it taking away from your big day. Also as long as he doesn't doing ON your big day...it would be bad I think if for example he did it in the middle of the reception or something. As long though as he does it on a different day, I think it will be fine.

        Like I said, this is their vacation too and you do have to remember that as well.

        Trust me, I totally get where you are coming from but I don't see it taking anything away from your wedding. I think this same thing happened to another bride, tvt (tara). there might even be a thread on it, let me see if i can find it. same situation and in the end it was totally fine.

        #4 simplnsweet

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          Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:03 PM

          thanks Lucy. I appreciate you taking the time to share your opinion. I just now have to trust he will listen to Jason's suggestion.

          #5 Andi

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            Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:05 PM

            ahh yes here it is, just had to do some digging:
            http://bestdestinati....ng-trip-30003/

            #6 simplnsweet

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              Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:13 PM

              Andi, thank you too for your opinion. I just saw it after I responded to Lucy. His gf is super nice but has been waiting sooo long for a ring.. I know if she got it the day before...say after our dress rehearsal the night before the wedding..she would so flaunting it and I just think it would take away from our special day. They will not be having any family there...we will only be about 25 people. I understand it is their vacation too but I would never think my guy would do something like that. I would greatly appreciate if you have the link to the thread.. I will look too. I guess knowing that it has been done to someone else on this site makes it more comforting. I am open to seeing it from others' perspectives.. maybe I just need to hear them and think about this in a not so selfish way.

              #7 simplnsweet

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                Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:13 PM

                Thanks!!!! I am going to view it now.
                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Andi
                ahh yes here it is, just had to do some digging:
                http://bestdestinati....ng-trip-30003/


                #8 Andi

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                  Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:17 PM

                  Oh I just read back through Tara's thread, there was never an update on whether or not the proposal actually happened or not... I *think* it did though and was fine, she is around sometimes still and can maybe fill you in on how it turned out!

                  #9 JanineA

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                    Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:17 PM

                    This same thing is happening to me. Well a little different. Its my friend who is going to be proposing to his gf at our wedding. He and I have been friends for over 16years so I was happy when he asked me to help him go ring shopping (he has been with his gf for 4 yrs). When we found the right ring about a couple weeks went by then he asked me to lunch cause he wanted to ask me how I felt about something. He told me he planned to propose on the beach in T&C while there for my wedding. At first I was so happy. But when I told my FI he was not pleased at all. He actually requested that I ask my friend not to. So I called my friend up and explained that we really didn't want anything taking away from our day and that FI was concerned that his proposal would. He said he understood and said he planned to do it on the Sunday (the day after our wedding) but if he did it before he would ask that she not tell anyone and not wear the ring until after. Though I know that probably won't happen cause I remember when I got engaged I told anyone and everyone! I would expect her to be just as excited (she is 37 and has been waiting for this her whole life!!). Since then I have decided not to worry about it. In the end, I have to face the fact that it is their vacation and though I can ask them to be respectful of my wishes I can't make them do anything. I'm just concentrating on making my day the most memorable and special that I can and hope that all friends and family attending will participate to add and not detract from the occassion.
                    Thanks Andi for posting the other thread. It really helped to read that as well.

                    #10 simplnsweet

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                      Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:23 PM

                      Oh, btw.. only maybe 5 people will not know his gf. Most of the guests know him well or very well.




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