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Motivating Fiancé to find something to wear

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#1 HazelsMelody

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  • 169 posts

    Posted 12 July 2010 - 05:24 PM

    I'm frustrated with my fianc© regarding choosing what he's going to wear for the ceremony. I realize we're still 8 months away, but what I figured was NOW is the time to go looking for something because the "summer" stuff is out in stores right now whereas when he will need to be looking, in January or February, he may not have so much luck.

    But what makes me want to scream is when anyone asks him what he's wearing for the ceremony, he says, "My white swim trunks and bare feet and Suzanne will be wearing a white bikini!!" They think he's joking, I know he's half serious!

    Now he's at least wearing clothes, but he doesn't care. He got this white shirt and pant set when we were in Jamaica last spring but I don't want him to wear that, it looks like pajamas, plus, my dress is ivory so he can't wear white.

    I want him to wear a nice pair of khakis or tan linen pants and he can wear the shirt he got in Jamaica (maybe). But then when I was trying to motivate him to talk about it, he comes out and says he doesn't want to go shopping until *just* before we leave, or even find something when we get there (to Cuba!)!! I'm like, WHAT!?!? No freakin' way!!

    I understand he wants to wait until just before, because he intends to lose some weight before then, which I get, because I will be too. But I'm not one to leave it 'til the last minute, plus, the best man has to match so it needs to be coordinated.

    Argh. I just needed to vent on that because I've given up talking to him about it - for now anyway.
    Iberostar Varadero
    25 March 2011
    Bride & Groom and kids + 20 booked.

    #2 HazelsMelody

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    • 169 posts

      Posted 12 July 2010 - 05:30 PM

      Oh, AND he insists on bare feet. :o( I want this to be a *little* bit formal..... at least for the ceremony. He can kick them off later for all I care.
      Iberostar Varadero
      25 March 2011
      Bride & Groom and kids + 20 booked.

      #3 teshy1

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      • 162 posts

        Posted 12 July 2010 - 06:05 PM

        I understand how you feel. I had many discussions with my fiance about his attire. I wanted things to be taken care of, as well, to avoid last-minute headaches. We compromised a bit so that we were both happy, and as it turns out, he came through like a pro and did the shopping on his own with a buddy for his attire and the groomsmen's attire.
        Do you have a sense of why he wants to wait so long? Let him know why you'd like things to be taken care of by a reasonable date and maybe see if you two can come to an agreement on a "to be done by" date. One issue we ran into was finding resort-type/summer wear in Canada in the late fall/early winter. You may have to take that into consideration when planning.
        By the way, I had been set on having the guys wear sandals for the ceremony, but they decided the day before to go barefoot, and at that point, I just let it roll off my back. I thought they actually looked cute going barefoot. The girls (of course!) wore heels.

        #4 cbell

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        • 475 posts

          Posted 12 July 2010 - 06:17 PM

          I went through the same thing with my husband and you're right, go now or it'll be really frustrating in the winter to try to find beach wedding attire! My hubby said the same thing about losing weight and he didn't lose any, I mean even if he lost 10 pounds I would've been OK with having his suit altered. Instead we were looking in Sept/Oct for his suit to wear in November and couldn't find any. If you're just looking for pants you probably won't have that hard of a time but you might need to buy online. The khakis in the stores in the winter will be heavier and probably not what you're looking for. Good luck!

          #5 mrs*j*2011

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          • 206 posts

            Posted 12 July 2010 - 06:52 PM

            I hear ya! My FI keeps saying he'll take care of it but I know he's going to wait until November and there will be nothing but thermal lined pants and wool sweaters in the stores! I've decided just go shopping myself and pick out a bunch of stuff that he can try on at home. He has good intentions but he's so busy with work and school (both full time), I just know it'll fall to the wayside if I don't step in! Good luck with your fiance!
            ~~ Lea ~~
            January 2, 2011 ~ Sandals Royal Caribbean
            (honeymooning at Couples Negril)


            #6 Andi


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              Posted 12 July 2010 - 07:03 PM

              ha! take a deep breath!

              This same thing happened to me...I too tried to tell my hubby to get something the season before while summer stuff was out, no luck there.

              LOL not to stress you out or anything but because he dragged his feet so much on this, he didn't have his suit in hand until oh about 5 days before we left for Mexico! This was the ONLY thing he had to do for the wedding and this is the reason why, he is a procrastinator!

              I finally around January (we were married in April) just let it go and didn't let it stress me. Hey as long as he showed up right?! so yeah, if he didn't get that suit it wasn't about to be my problem when he was frantically looking for something!

              In the end, it all worked out just fine

              #7 Mandy Canada

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              • 79 posts

                Posted 12 July 2010 - 10:49 PM

                We are getting married just after you on March 30 and my fiance was saying that it is too early as well, however we are in Canada and there is no way he is going to find the light summery clothes in Jan/Feb. I ended up getting him excited about going to the mall to look for board shorts and sandals that he needed now then said while we are here lets look at some wedding stuff. It worked well, and now we dont need think about it until a few months before we will hem the pants etc.

                Good luck with it all.

                #8 pina13

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                • 30 posts

                  Posted 15 July 2010 - 06:33 PM

                  I have the exact same issue....he just doesnt think it's necessary to go shopping right now for a wedding in January.
                  Ughhh even the Groomsmen won't bother looking...

                  I will just cross my fingers....everything normally works out in the end.
                  Glad to know I am not the only Canadian wondering what to do!

                  Can anyone recommend stores that have a good selection of linen clothing or formal-ish light weighing clothing ?

                  #9 debbmach

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                  • 1,457 posts

                    Posted 15 July 2010 - 07:19 PM

                    My fiance and I went through the same thing. We agree early on that he'd wear khaki coloured linen pants and a white linen top. Back in June when were shopping we found a great outfit but he convinced me to wait...what was I thinking! We went shopping a couple of weeks ago and everything linen was gone!!! I got really upset! He just kept saying he'll order them online in Dec...haha! Not exactly what I want! I think as a way to keep me happy he agreed to seriously go shopping for his outfit. Needless to say it took going to many different Banana Republic's (where we saw the first outfit and the clothes look great on him) to find the right pant and shirt for him. It actually worked out in the end because we bought everything this week and we got both the pants and top for less than half price...WOOHOO!!!
                    I think you need to just get him to a mall first and then go from there. Go to the stores that you know will have the pants you want for him and just coax him into trying things on. Waiting much longer is not a good idea, there's not much left in terms of linen pants.
                    Stores that have linen clothing include Banana Republic, RW & Co, Old Navy (linen/cotton blend tops for $12!), Tommy Bahama, and Harry Rosen.

                    58 people booked...and counting!!!

                    #10 midnight24

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                      Posted 15 July 2010 - 10:39 PM

                      ha i can relate sort of.

                      we bought DH suit last may before i even got a dress. then when it got closer to the date he tried it on and it was too big...and then we were worried about the colour. we got it altered and the colour ended up working out...but i seriously thought we were going to have to buy another suit. oh and did i mention that was already the 2nd one. haha.

                      most spring/summer stuff comes out late feb/early march so you could wing it and get it then. and get the groomsman stuff together.

                      that was our other issue because we couldn't find pants for the groomsman in the same colour as DH suit. we got something close but i tell ya...that was not a fun shopping experience. if people say women can't make up their mind...they are wrong. men are just as bad!

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