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punkie569

Need help with invitations please!

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Sometimes I think no one understands planning a wedding quite like you girls. I've asked everyone around me what they think and they have been no help so I turn to you wonderful ladies.

 

First of all I am having problems with the wording for our AHR invites. I'm not sure how to even start them at this point. I've searched around for the intro part but I can't find anything that fits. Also I'm not sure how to word the food set up. I'll try to explain it the best I can. It's not a buffet but it kind of is. There will be no sit down dinner but a huge spread of different foods that will guarantee no one leaves hungry. But I've been told if I put buffet people will think it's a sit down thing and it's not. More like a cocktail party/stand up dinner I guess? It's also adults only since it will be at a restaurant and not really suitable for kids. So should I just call it an adults only buffet reception or can you think of something better?

 

The other thing with these invites is when to send them. We get married Nov 10th and our AHR isn't until Jan 16th/2011. We didn't want to compete with Christmas so we figured it was better to wait till after. Now I don't want a bunch of RSVP's to come and fill up my mailbox while we are away so is it big deal if I send them out way early and have the RSVP deadline for before we leave for Mexico? Or do I not send them out until we come back from the wedding? That only leaves me 2 months then to get them out and back.

 

I swear this AHR is more of a pain to plan than my actual wedding. Thanks for any feedback!

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Hi! I would recommend sending them out sooner than later as people have a tendency to not reply, forget, etc. and sometimes you have to ask them a second time, otherwise you'll have people show up and not be expecting them.

 

As for the wording, usually when a wedding or reception are adults only, the invitations are addressed specifically to the adults rather than so and so family. Also, I think it would be a good idea to state that it is a cocktail/appetizer or standing dinner party, so that people don't think it's a sit down event.

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As for your buffet dilema....i would call it a "strolling dinner." People automatically then know that it is not a sit dow, and that it is probably more of an appetizer style meal (lots of choices add up to a full dinner). I am always rsvp'ing for my bosses to events and that is the wording i see most for that kind of meal. And, to keep the kids at bay, you should only have to address your invitation to the adults specifically...if the invitation doesnt say "and family" then they should know it means just the adults you have addressed it to.

 

Also, send out your ahr info as early as possible - i think it would be ok to send them out before you go to mexico....figure in the fact that around christmas the mail is slower as well!

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Thank you girls soooo much for the feedback. I love the "strolling dinner". I knew there were parties like this but I just didn't know what people called them. My brother just got married and put that it was a cocktail party w/ appetizers and people were really disappointed when they got there and saw cheese/meat trays and fruit trays(I know I was). I didn't want anyone to be confused or eat beforehand thinking they weren't getting fed.

 

As for the no kids thing you'd think just putting the names of who is invited would be enough. I don't think a lot of people know that only the people whose names were on the invite are the only ones invited. Just recently this issue came up with a friend of mine. She got the invite, addressed only to her, and she RSVPed for her and her boyfriend. Her cousin(the bride) emailed her to explain that since it was a destination wedding their guest list was limited and unfortunatley they didn't know she had a boyfriend and didn't include him. She got soooo upset and said that if she was the ony one invited then it should have said so. When I explained that unless it says guest or his name that means only the person the invite was addressed to was invited. That didn't go over so well.

 

I really don't want this happening with our wedding so I thought I should specify that it was adults only. There always seems to be that one guest at a wedding that just doesn't get it and will try to push the boundaries and end up probably bringing their kids(it's happened to 2 of my family members at their adults only weddings). I just wish people wouldn't see it as such a negative thing. Our venue is not kid friendly and I don't want the poor kids to be bored out of their minds. Whatever happened to parents wanting a night out without the kids? lol

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I love the term "strolling dinner" as well. I think this lets guests know that they will be fed and that the food option is going to be more than just appetizers and cocktails.

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My invitation reads:

 

We are getting ready to depart

on a romantic trip which is only the start

Lucy

and

Joe

will be married on

Friday, June 18, 2010

Negril, Jamaica

Please join us for a reception

when we return

July 10, 2010 at 5:00pm

-venue name and address-

 

You can add something like "we kindly request adults only, please." I would not call it a buffet because people will expect a full dinner.

 

We sent the invitations in late May. I think etiquette says to send them at least 6 weeks in advance, so definitely do not wait until after Christmas. You could either send them a month before you leave (the bulk of your RSVPs will be sent back right away) or right after you return home.

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If you want your reception to be Adults Only, I would make sure you note that somewhere on the invitation. I did not do that for my first wedding - I only addressed the envelopes to Mr & Mrs ... and there was "confusion" as to who exactly was included in that invite. We get it, but some of your guests may not get it KWIM?

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I agree with what others mentioned - definitely mention the "adults only" part. I just received a wedding invite the other day to my cousin's wedding and it was addressed just to myself and FI, and I kind of figured that meant my son wasn't invited, but since it was family, and everyone is always in invited to everything in our family, I wasn't positive. So I emailed my aunt to find out and she confimed that yes, it was adults only. So I guess my point is some people may not be sure, so it's better to make it clear and not have anyone guess and end up bringing kids.

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