Been There, Done That
Posted 09 February 2010 - 08:12 PM
FI had been married before. Clearly it didn't work out, but it took me a LOOONG time to be ok with his past. I never thought I would date let alone marry someone who was married before.
So his past is his past and it doesn't affect our relationship. but now that we're engaged, I feel like I'm second to his ex and it sucks!!!
he doesnt make me feel that way, it's the situation. for example, I always wanted to do a framed pic that people could sign at our wedding and that's what he had last time. i wanted to give him a really nice watch for his present and thats what she did. even worse, he invited his parents friends (who live in england) and they arent coming bc they came for the last wedding and its too expensive!
All those feelings and insecurities that I had at the beginning of our relationship about being "number two" are coming back
i feel like it's "been there, done that" and our wedding is coming in second to what he did with her.
I've been engaged before and he says there are things he wishes I hadn't done with the ex and I completely understand, but it's different for guys, you know? I know that he loves me more than anything and all that matters is that WE are together and getting married, but for the little girl inside me that had an idea of what this time in my life would be like, this sucks
Thanks for listening!!!
Posted 09 February 2010 - 09:00 PM
Posted 09 February 2010 - 09:34 PM
Posted 09 February 2010 - 10:37 PM
Posted 09 February 2010 - 10:42 PM
in the past few weeks I have seen 2 wedding trees vs a guest book or photo sign in.
it's a painting of a tree (the branches) and the guests leave a thumbprint leaf in a color with their name next to it, it becomes a framed piece of art work in your home
One was a wedding here on island we did(you can see a bit of it in the details at the top of the blog post middle photo of the collage)
The other was a print on a wedding blog I follow for ideas, great inspiration: here it is, scroll down it's about 2/3 down the post
Green Wedding Shoes - Southern California Wedding Inspiration for the Modern Bride: Real Wedding: Bronwen + Matthew's Intimate Wedding
The other thing I have seen is a guest book with your photos in it, but instead of space to sign, there are pages that have "advice to give the bride and groom" What do you love about bride (insert name here) what is your favorite memory/quote/etc for them.
I bet you can find some really unique personal ideas to make the little girl in you happy and put your signature on it!!!
Posted 09 February 2010 - 10:44 PM
Posted 09 February 2010 - 11:45 PM
jenne that part about the crapy little wedding was priceless
krys i like that tree idea...very unique!!
really thank you all for the kind words and hugs, i am so glad i found this site bc its great to be able to confide in all of you
Posted 15 February 2010 - 07:25 PM
Posted 15 February 2010 - 08:00 PM
I agree with Island Bride - and try to find unique ideas for each of the wedding pieces, but if you really like something that he did the first time feel free to do it again. Just do it better.
I'm really sorry about his parents. That is a real shame and it would really hurt my feelings. Perhaps you can talk to him and he could help communicate with them. Maybe you can help with the expense. I don't know, but that would really make me sad.
Posted 15 February 2010 - 08:26 PM
| Originally Posted by Island Bride |
I would suggest you do NOTHING that was done at his first wedding so everything is unique and a fresh start for the both of you! Good Luck Chicky!
malisa: his parents are coming, it's his parents really close friends who arent, they are like his aunt and uncle but if they don't want to "spend the money again" then screw them, their loss!!
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