Oh hun I completely feel you on this matter. I also have amazing IL's so I completely understand your position on this. Im about to make a huge move from my country to live in NY with my IL's and my husband to try and save a few more $$ so we are able to buy our perfect home. My IL's house is a tiny tudor 2 br - 1.5 ba home with a full finished basement(my current apartment is 3br-2ba and just tons of space). Im completely stressing because well:
1) I havent lived with parents for the past 16yrs
2) We would be 5 in the household(FIL, MIL, DH, myself and my 7yr old)
3) The basement room has no privacy at all its open space. The laundry room and the gym are right behind. Problem is my MIL and FIL walk in their house as they please... I mean after all it is THEIR house they can do what they want and their favorite places are in the basement!
4) My MIL can sometimes be over bearing.. She is suuuper sweet and i <3 her to pieces but a lot of times, she doesn't mean to trust me, she kinda butts into some private issues to put in her 2 cents..
Ive already sat down and talked to my future MIL about a few issues that were really bothering me and just tried to smooth things out with her as much as I can. We are paying xoxox amount to help with bills etc, obviously not as much as real rent but still trying to help out. Even though it is a huge favor that they are doing for us it is important to be able to spend some time with my husband without fearing the IL's coming down the stairs or invading our private space. I think honestly maybe sit down with your FI and with your future IL's about maybe setting some "privacy" boundaries etc to kinda make you feel a bit more at ease about the transition. Hope this helps Good luck!